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AIBU to feel emotionally blackmailed by School ?

(208 Posts)
spornersunited Fri 09-Sep-16 19:11:17

DS has just started YR2 (so age 6).

By the time we all walk through the door at 5.45 every evening DS is hungry, tired, and whining (he's up at 6am)

Todays letter home stated that there will be a weekly spelling test and spellings should be practiced and recorded in his spelling record book every day and signed by a parent apparently if this home work isn't completed they will loose 'golden time' and made to do the practice then.

Whilst I fully support the school and my child's education there will be days that trying to do battle and force a tired whiny 6 year old to do spellings will be counter productive.

To put it into perspective both me and DP work full time don't get home until 5.45 pm which then only leaves 1 hour and 15 mins to get evening meal cooked & eaten , DS bathed ,teeth cleaned, story hear about his day etc before he settles down to sleep at 7 pm.

AIBU to think that the threat of my child being effectively singled out and punished if I don't facilitate this home work every single day (for the reasons stated above) is emotional blackmail ?

Fanfeck Fri 09-Sep-16 19:13:18

Can childminder/caregiver not do the homework?

kilmuir Fri 09-Sep-16 19:13:22

YABU. Who looks after him before and after school. They will have to do it.
What a horrible long day for him

Trifleorbust Fri 09-Sep-16 19:13:32

YANBU. Every day is too much (I'm a teacher).

Waltermittythesequel Fri 09-Sep-16 19:14:08

Part of being a parent is facilitating homework, IMO.

I don't think it's blackmail to ask parents to do spellings with their dc.

CocoLoco87 Fri 09-Sep-16 19:14:10

Who is he with after school? Can they do the spellings with him?

iwantavuvezela Fri 09-Sep-16 19:14:36

Do it in the morning over breakfast, your child will be refreshed and more able to actually learn than at the end of a long school day.

. I would set aside 5-10 minutes. I used to get my daughter to write them down by looking at word, then one go of doing them on her own. I would point out the errors, and try and make a game or something of how to spell it correctly.
Then I would sign the book to say it has been done.

3boys3dogshelp Fri 09-Sep-16 19:16:01

I think every day sounds too much too. How hard are the spellings?! We do spellings twice over the week (Fri-Fri) and that's plenty. I find mornings much easier to do this type of thing, is that possible for you?

CocoLoco87 Fri 09-Sep-16 19:16:24

I don't think it's blackmail. As a primary school teacher I really appreciate the time parents / carers / older siblings take to do homework with my pupils. The odd night missed is never a problem as life happens and I like to be understanding. If it was a long-term problem and they were never done then I would be concerned.

Randytortoise Fri 09-Sep-16 19:17:03

Lots of the parents in my previous school did them in the car on the way to school or over breakfast. Is this an option?

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Fri 09-Sep-16 19:17:18

Can they not be done in the morning? Friend's DS does his homework in the mornings when he's bright eyed and bushy-tailed.

MooPointCowsOpinion Fri 09-Sep-16 19:18:34

He's up nice an early, 5 minutes in the morning is all it takes. My childminder reads with my daughter when I can't, is that an option?

Every day is a bit much, I agree, but it is only a 5 minute task. Pop him at the table while you cook in the evening even.

Arfarfanarf Fri 09-Sep-16 19:19:06

I agree do it in the morning is a good idea. It'll take a few minutes.

reddotmum Fri 09-Sep-16 19:19:08

YABU homework is part of his education. That shouldn't suffer because you work full time. Who minds him after school? What about before school? We both work and have four kids to get homeworks done for. I just have to accept it.

Xmasbaby11 Fri 09-Sep-16 19:19:17

Does he need to get up so early? His bedtime is early but if he's tired I guess he needs more sleep at one end of the day.

Dd is 4.5 and she is still leaping around til 8pm so I think we could fit homework in, but she's only just started reception so hasn't had homework yet. She doesn't get up til about 6.45 though.

Longlost10 Fri 09-Sep-16 19:19:22

Of course it isn't blackmail. As his parent, you are entirely responsible to oversee and support his education. Who do you think will if you don't? The school is there to educate, not to parent, and this comes firmly and fully under the role of parenting.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Fri 09-Sep-16 19:20:24

It's up to you.

All of the children are given the homework and for you to turn round and say he's too tired so it won't be completed won't wash well.
It's a weekly test, if his spelling is going well and he's coping you don't need to practice every night do you?. If he's struggling to master some things then you need to find strategies to encourage enthusiasm.

As I said, it's your choice.

cansu Fri 09-Sep-16 19:21:36

Another teacher here. Agree this is bloody annoying. Do what you can and sign regardless or speak to teacher explain you can't do it as ds too tired. Could u set ip reward for doing them three times a week? Huge sympathy though I also work and find it a bit much especially with child with asd.

RubbleBubble00 Fri 09-Sep-16 19:21:53

He doesn't need a bath every night. While one of u cook he other does spellings. Millions of working parents do it. Plus maths and reading

TealGiraffe Fri 09-Sep-16 19:21:59

I run after school club at a primary, i have a little list with each year groups homework days / book change days. We eat, play out, then have 'quiet 20'. 20 mins set aside for homework / reading / spellings or (if no homework etc) they quietly draw / read.

It works well as everyone is doing it so nobody feels they are missing out on anything. and i have a brew in peace and catch up on paperwork

Could you suggest this to his childcare provider? If it's school based they probably do something similar, or at least have the facilities to.

Pineapplemilkshake Fri 09-Sep-16 19:22:27

YABU. Would it be an option for whoever looks after him to do them on way to school or in the afternoon?

Failing that, an easy way to do it would be to use the Spellosaur app or similar on an iPad and leave him to it. My DS actually learnt his spellings more effectively using it

Believeitornot Fri 09-Sep-16 19:23:23

This is a 6 year old.

My 6 year old is in the same year. If he gets this much homework I will not be facilitating it quite frankly. He needs down time!

Is this a private school?

Waltermittythesequel Fri 09-Sep-16 19:24:35

Maybe the education system is completely different in the UK but in my dc's school, nightly spellings and a weekly spelling test is completely standard.

BodsAuntieFlo Fri 09-Sep-16 19:25:35

If he's aged 6 I can't see there being that many words to spell. Others on this thread have given you many options to have the homework completed daily. If your struggling to get homework done now goodness knows how you'll manage in future.

DamsonInDistress Fri 09-Sep-16 19:26:12

I'd lie and write in the book every night wihtout a second thought. I'd do the actual practise whenever was convenient to me, breakfast is a really good suggestion, mine always did better over breakfast.

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