AIBU or Jealous - Employment issue(8 Posts)
I need to share this with someone. Ive tried sharing this with my family & friends but this results in "forget about it" or "you are over thinking it". I want to share this with my supervisor Mr X or work colleagues but as I will explain later this is complicated. OK bear with me.
Since May I have had this work placement in a large company with many departments which I am to leave in November which I know will not become permanent (in fact they are advertising now for another placement person) so I have been trying to find another job before November - I have had interviews for jobs which ive had a fair if not excellent chance of getting. In some cases with these interviews im sure nepotism (agency staff being made permanent, people they worked with before, my not being Asian etc) played a large factor in who they chose & i believe this has been the case also for some jobs Ive gone for in previous years (most notably one role where I was turned down but asked to come back on a voluntary basis to support the chosen candidate who turned out to be a niece of the interviewer which I considered cheeky).
Anyhow all this was irritating but how the world works. A few days ago I was told by one of the supervisors Mrs T in another department (who is friends with my supervisor as their departments are in the same wing of the building) who I usually get on well with and who is liked by everyone that she will be looking for a new work placement person as hers Miss N (who started 8 weeks ago and who is currently on holiday) is sure to get the role they applied for a permanent position that was advertised & which they encouraged their placement person to apply for. It was made quite clear that this was a sure thing and that there had been canvassing. This supervisor has been with the prospective new interviewer "Mrs S" all the time (lunches & meeting etc) and it seems that the shortlisted candidates have are all awaiting an interview so they can be interviewed when "N" comes back of their holiday. Its all quite blatant with "T" saying to me in front of "S": " I would love it if "N" got the job" - prospective interviewer & supervisor "S" just smiled.
"T" then proceeded to tell me how she would get a new placement person just like "N" because people like "N" were older and knew the meaning of hard work.
This has really upset and angered me (although I have tried my best to hide this under a fake cheerfulness) for many reasons:
1) Im having to see nepotism and canvassing under my nose - working where I do I will see all the hopeful candidates who just like me in all my previous interviews think they stand a good chance of getting the job not knowing that its all been fixed - PLUS T should know how I feel about this having confided in her about this sort of thing
2) I dislike the fact that N has worked for only 2 months & been away for 2 weeks on holiday whilst ive yet to take my time off due to having to stay in the UK for all my interviews
3) I am upset by T's attitude that a new replacement can be just plucked out of the air so when N gets the job she will be able to have her 4 weeks notice waived to go off with S.
4) I am not happy for N because she has turned out to be a rather 2 faced character who really doesnt deserve this special treatment. Before N started working for T I had known N slightly in University and before N started I had praised N to T. However my dreams of having a lovely work colleague was dashed when it turned out that N wanted nothing to do with me & mimicked my voice when "joking" with me (I didnt find it funny). All attempts to be welcoming to N whilst working in our building have been in vain. The bad character of N has been made really apparent by the fact that she has been bitchy about a lot of people: 2 lovely people we knew before who also work for the company = "Im surprised they got jobs"; her new colleagues "the team doesnt need her" & "she refuses to help anyone unlike myself" and even her prospective new supervisor "S" : "she is a bit dumb"!
5) Most horrible of all is the fact that "T" thinks "N" is the ideal employee better than anyone they have had before. What they seem to have failed to notice is how often "N" has cigarette breaks and takes personal phone calls when T is on holiday or out at a meeting. What T doesn't remember is that for the few months before "N" arrived I helped out that department with some of the duties that "N" does now, also since "N" arrived I have continued to help out. I have essentially done 1 1/3 roles from almost the beginning until a few days ago and this model employ has only ever done 2/3 of their duties if that. Whilst T was on holiday and N spending all their work time buttering up Mrs S and writing their personal statement I was asked to help their department with their workload. Stupidly I did so but maybe even secretly hoping that the laziness of N would be come obvious with me doing my job and some of hers. Unfortunately I think T & their team have always believed that I am just someone who has lots of free time & a light workload - rather than the truth that I am just a hard worker unlike N .
6) This will all be happening in front of me for my final 2 months when Im stressing enough about my future job prospects.
So what do I do? Do I tell T the truth about N & say that I dislike the obvious canvassing/nepotism? Do I tell my own supervisor who has always seemed to like N & might think im just jealous because he cant give me a permanent role? Do I keep my mouth shut and just bear with this & focus on myself. It really upsets me that I have played by the rules and been so kind, helpful & honest.
AIBU to feel this way?
What do you want to achieve?
Do you want a job there? Then suck it up, keep positive, ask for an exit interview well in advance where you list all the things you have learned (including stuff which shows you have covered other people's work) and say how much you want a job there. Give them a shiny updated CV and get back in touch regularly. Shake N's hand and say you hope to see her again soon.
Do you want a job somewhere else? Then do the same thing. It's a small world. Never, ever burn your bridges.
I honestly think that your family etc are right - you are overthinking this. Lots of people are annoying, small-scale nepotism is pretty common, lots of people blag their way into jobs they are only marginally qualified for. That's life. Any interview is good practice. Few workmates will be really great people to spend time with - look for common ground and try to ignore the annoying stuff. Only complain if it's something that could cause actual damage or major harm. Employers don't remember the content of a complaint - they tend only to remember 'oh it's X the one who complained'. None of this is fair but it is how it is.
Thanks Annandale for the advice and reading what I put. Just wanted someones opinion who didn't know me and could look at it from every angle. Also to get it out of me in words. I will try to take your advice after all nobody there (not T, N, S or my own Mr X) knows how I feel. Ive always been professional, helpful and polite with everyone so it should be easy. Also because I initially spoke so well of N originally T must think I adore N and be wildly happy at this opportunity for her (hence the really obvious sharing with me).
I am upset though mainly because ive been so foolish giving my all. Also it will hurt to see the replacement for N (who probably arrive week or 2 before I go) being given 100% of N's work and having to live in N's shadow. Also feel for all the people who I will see going for the sham interviews - its just evil that I cant warn them off or expose this without causing a lot of drama. I do need a job and a good reputation behind me - I have worked hard for it after all. Sadly the only way to survive is by being as false and cards close to the chest as people you despise.
N is not a family member though if I'm right so therefore this is not nepotism.
N is acting differently to how she acted towards you than she did at uni and you no longer like her which is fine.
N has obviously made a good impression in the department in which she has carried out her placement and is lucky that there is a vacancy in that department and they want to keep her. You are unlucky that unfortunately there is not a position in the department within which you worked.
If you want to keep in with the company in order that you have a chance at further vacancies that might arise I suggest that you don't air your views to your potential employers as it will just come across as petty and also questioning of their own judgment (as regards employing N).
If N really is not going to be the good employee they think she will be (but you don't) they will learn their mistakes soon enough.
Now the harsh straight talking bit: It does sound as possibly you may have a chip on your shoulder over what you call nepotism (which really only relates to family members) or perceived favouritism and possibly this is what comes across and prevents you from getting the job.
Do try to remain upbeat and let them know you'd like to be considered if positions come up in future and also follow up with a phone call every now and then to see whether anything is available or likely to come up. It is very easy to get sucked into the - why can't they see what I see negativity and it does you no favours. Hard as it is try to let go of it.
I typed such a long reply it cross posted with Annandale's good advice.
Before I stop following this I want to say thanks for your reasonable & fair advice Annandale and HereIam20 - I posted too on the employment issues bit and got a lot of posters who were more willing to shoot me down about it. So thanks guys for being 2 of the good ones.
HereIam nepotism is not just relatives, it also includes favouritism towards friends.
Bluebell unfortunately there isn't much you can do about it.
We do have a practice in our workplace where vacancies are advertised stating there is a "preferred candidate" so you know you will need to knock their socks off at the interview or have some previously hidden priceless talent or you aren't getting the job. Your experiences could be considered similar but less open.
But great advice from previous posters. If you want to go for the job apply for it, interview practice is never a waste of your time and going for an interview you don't think you will get anyway will take away the fear factor and you can experiment with your interview technique.
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