To think my neighbour is bonkers?

[stripesstpots]

So ok this will be long.

We moved into our flat around seven years ago. The flats are two converted houses with carpeting and rugs. When we moved in I would say 90% of the flats were children age newborn to eight so the landlord was happy with children.

Over the last couple of years those with the youngest children have all increased family size and moved and its mostly just a couple of us with over tens left.

Fast forward to last year and a new neighbour moved in downstairs who we will call Maud. Maud is in her sixties and works shifts.

When Maud moved in and saw my dc (before my dc had even been in the house while she was there so not our noise related) first thing she did was moan she knew all about kids thudding about.

She then asked if I would ensure my children were not in the house when she was on nights so she could sleep.

Now I should point out at this point the dc leave the house at 6.10am and don't return till 5.30pm during term time and are in bed at 9pm. Although we are home in the holidays we still go out a lot.
Until two weeks ago we were away with family all weekend overnight so literally about 3 and a half hours of them at home a day.. They are not at the age of running around and no loud music.

So everytime I leave the house we see Maud. Maud comments

When dc fell out of bed one night she complained.
When months later dc knocked a lamp over she complained.
Mostly she complains to me, her friends, the neighbours, our local shop keeper, letting agent etc that she can hear disabled dc (on rugs, carpets and with slippers or barefeet) walking.

It has got to the point the dc stay in their room all day and don't use the living room so they are walking from the bedroom to the living room for a drink or meal only.

Aibu to think she is bonkers?

[Thebookswereherfriends]

She is bonkers and you are for restricting your children. Just tell Maud every time you see her and she comments that your children are not being excessively loud and some noise is to be expected in flats. Don't engage and don't apologise.

[gettingbythistime]

I'd move tbh. I couldn't take the miserable old bag complaining all the time

[dazzlingdeborahrose]

Tell Maud to get done ear plugs and then get on with your life.

[LagunaBubbles]

Why are your children not using their own living room? Really dont engage with this woman and dont pander to her either.

[Natsku]

Tell Maud to fuck off, she's nuts to expect peace and quiet in a flat, especially when its a converted house as the walls/floors won't be as soundproof as proper blocks of flats.

[CafeCremeEtCroissant]

She's bonkers

But you are more bonkers for Pandering to her Tell her to 'do one' & encourage your children to use your flat normally

[IFailDaily]

This is your home OP - the place where you and your DC should be at your most relaxed. It's ridiculous that you can't even walk from one room to another.
Perhaps dippy Maud should have checked if there were children in the other flats before she moved in.

[CathyCats]

She sounds a delight. I'd explain your children have the right to be in the house you pay for as much as she does, and you'd not ask her to be out when they're in, so she cannot expect the same. Explain they're not excessively noisy and if it's as bad as she claims then to prove it to environmental health. As by the sounds of it, whinging is all she can do rather than factually prove it!

[VimFuego101]

This is insane. Let your children use their house. You have carpet, they're walking barefoot - you can't do any more than that.

[echt]

old bag Fuck off with your sexist and ageist naming, gettingbythistime

Maud is in her sixties Nothing you have said about her behaviour is age- related, so why mention it, OP?

[BreakfastAtSquiffanys]

Do you both rent?
I would complain to your landlord about her totally unreasonable complaints. Every time she complains, pass it on.
I hate noise, but it doesn't sound like you are being noisy. In fact, you're barely existing!

[PollyBanana]

Maud's age is relevant (same as mine) as it might be a long time (if ever) since she had young children, and she has forgotten that they have to walk about about occacionally

[stripesstpots]

Just to add I am not pandering to her.

We don't go out like she asked when she is on nights.
I have already complained to the landlord about her and told her I won't apologise for my kids walking.

My kids are avoiding the room no matter what I say because when they are with me leaving the house Maud makes comment about 'ohh is this the cloddhopper or is this the one who makes all the noise' and despite me saying something back it works disabled dd up.

[19lottie82]

I'd give her the contact details for your local noise prevention team and tell her to call them, rather than complain to you. (They will tell her she's being ridiculous, obviously)

[LagunaBubbles]

Just to add I am not pandering to her. We don't go out like she asked when she is on nights

That sounds like pandering to her to me. I wouldnt be restricting my life because of someones shift patterns.

[Nakupenda]

I think Maud is being totally unreasonable. Even more so that she has chosen to move into a flat to then complain about noise.

However a teeny tiny part of me sympathises, only a tiny part though. My families enjoyment of our home is ruined on a daily basis by wild children and screaming parents next door... And we live in a house

Not that you are screaming parents, just kids are quite noisy and it can get desperate at times. I still think she's being unreasonable & actually quite mean and rides

[BlueLeopard]

Fuck Maud. Your kids are peacefully enjoying their home. She can get ear plugs or move to a detached cottage in the country side if she wants absolute peace and quiet.

[ToxicLadybird]

We had a neighbour like this. We tried to be considerate but eventually realised we could never be quiet enough. People like this don't want less noise, they want no noise. Their expectations are completely unreasonable and therefore best ignored.

[stripesstpots]

Telling her to go to noise prevention is a good idea thanks.

[Willow2016]

Tell her if she continues to insult your children you will have her done for harrassment. Batshit crazy woman!

[MumOnTheRunCatchingUp]

laguna how is that 'pandering' to her?

[LagunaBubbles]

My mistake - read it wrong!

[JennyOnAPlate]

I think maud is not suited to apartment living and needs to move to a detached house in the middle of nowhere. You should suggest that to her.