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AIBU?

....to still want to go to the wedding?

112 replies

HeldTogetherByGafferTape · 09/09/2016 11:24

I've recently moved out of London up to Scotland. I'm 39 + 1 weeks pregnant (first pregnancy), and I have a wedding invite tomorrow in London town.

I booked an paid for everything months ago in the hope that my either my brain or biology would have made it clear by now whether I was going to be able to go or not. But here we are 1 day before and I'm still in a muddle about what to do.

First class tickets on the train journey (4hours) are booked and paid for, travelling down tomorrow morning, and back up Sunday morning, as is a room at the hotel where the reception is happening, and husband is also booked to come along for the trip and the wedding, so I'm likely to be pretty comfortable and well looked after all day, and able to rest should it all become a bit too much.

Pros of going are - seeing a really dear group of friends I won't see for probably a long time after the baby arrives, plus maintaining some important work contacts which is critical in my industry, especially as I'm freelance. Also of course having a nice day at the wedding, and not letting the grooms down by flaking out at the last minute (though obviously we had a chat when they invited me that I couldn't guarantee attendance and were happy to keep me on the list) + I guess not losing money on the train and hotel (though tbh I'm far less bothered about that last aspect).

There's only one big Con - what if I go into labour? Either on the train or in London.

All my maternity care up to 8 months was in London, so the idea of giving birth down there isn't terrifying...though I'd really rather not! What really worries me is the logistics of getting back to Scotland again with the baby were this to happen, and we don't have a house there any more to spend some time in while we sorted ourselves out.

The midwife didn't seems too alarmed when I spoke to her about it 10 days ago. She just said to take the book and a hospital bag just in case. Since then the bump seems to have dropped a little, but I'm still pretty mobile, no twinges, can cross my legs etc, but a few more experienced friends have made it clear that they think I'm mad to even consider it.

So - what do you think? Am I mad/unreasonable to even consider doing this?

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Bumpmadethemjump · 09/09/2016 11:26

I probably wouldn't personally. You'll be knackered! You want as much rest as you can get before you go in to Labour. But it's your choice and only you know how you feel.

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Arseicle · 09/09/2016 11:28

I'd go. First baby, you'll probably be late anyway.

I went to a big event at 39 weeks, was no bother and baby was born 4 days later.

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HeldTogetherByGafferTape · 09/09/2016 11:30

Thanks Bump

I have had bouts of being knackered, but I did a full shift at work yesterday (freelance so just one day) and actually felt better and more energised than I have since i stopped. And energy levels still good today. Because I can go for a rest in the room at any point I'm not too worried about tiredness, it's more the whole going-into-labour thing. Why is this not more of an exact science Grin ?

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JoandMax · 09/09/2016 11:31

If you're feeling well then go for it! You sound like you really want to go, will have your husband with you, room booked......

Maybe check out which hospitals are nearby just incase? Take your hospital bag and notes and have a great time!

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RebeccaWithTheGoodHair · 09/09/2016 11:31

I'd go for sure, you seem really well-prepared and it would be a shame to miss out for all the reasons you say. If the baby should arrive whilst you're down there you would be in hospital for at least one night and I guess with taxis and a first class carriage you would be pretty comfortable getting back. In fact as newborns sleep really well it might be better than if you were attempting it with one slightly older.

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HeldTogetherByGafferTape · 09/09/2016 11:31

Thanks Arseicle

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HuckfromScandal · 09/09/2016 11:32

Go
Enjoy
Baby likely to be late.
If you go into labour - you'll be Able to access care where you are.
I would definitely go.

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steppedonlego · 09/09/2016 11:32

I'd go. If it's your first you're very likely to go overdue anyway. Just take it nice and easy and make sure you're looked after Flowers

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BlackeyedSusan · 09/09/2016 11:33

perhaps research which are the best hospitals en route. or which are convenient for a cheap hotel and mothercare..

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hellsbellsmelons · 09/09/2016 11:33

My DD was due 1st January and I was away.
About 200 miles from home.
I wasn't going to cancel. It was a big family thing that had been planned for over a year.
She was late - nearly 2 weeks.
You'll be fine.

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Xmasbaby11 · 09/09/2016 11:36

There's no way I'd go. It's a long way and I wouldn't feel comfortable with the risk of going into labour. When my waters broke I was luckily at home - took many towels!

That's just me though - interesting to hear that others would be happy to do so!

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Planty18 · 09/09/2016 11:38

I would go, you sound well prepared, you'll be comfortable travelling and first babies are often late. If all of your care was down there till a few weeks ago you would feel comfortable there anyway and if all goes well you'll be out after a couple of days. Worst case scenario you'd have to hire a car and buy a car seat to get home with. I would definitely go for it, sounds like a lovely last hurrah before baby arrives, have a lovely time!

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Planty18 · 09/09/2016 11:40

Oh also, loads of decent hospitals on the train journey!

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honeylulu · 09/09/2016 11:44

I would go and have a great time! You may end up giving birth but, tant pis, there are many good hospitals in London. Also newborns are very portable and you can bring baby back on the train.
Oo if you give birth on the train they will probably give you free tickets or something. (Lighthearted but true)

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Portobelly · 09/09/2016 11:45

Go, enjoy yourself.
Take the book and bag.
Even if you were to go into labour on the train you wouldn't be in a rush.

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SandyY2K · 09/09/2016 11:46

If you feel fit and healthy, go for it. Take your bag and book as the midwife suggested. You'll need the space of a first class with your bump as well - one without a table.

You'll obviously know the nearest hospital to the venue or you can look it up in advance just in case.

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Shadowboy · 09/09/2016 11:47

I'd go. You'd kick yourself if you were sat at home that day and nothing happened! If you do go into labour then it's not like you are in the desert alone! On the train get off at nearest main town and head to a hospital, same if in London.

It seems a shame to miss out on something that won't happen again ever (unless friend remarries!)

I'd go!

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anaemicbee · 09/09/2016 11:48

Just go! Have fun. Take your bag and notes. :)

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ButtMuncher · 09/09/2016 11:50

If you've had an uncomplicated pregnancy (i.e; no reduced movements, no stand out issues) then definitely, and enjoy it Grin

I've had loads of little niggly issues, so personally I wouldn't, but I wish I could Grin

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Nonameyet1 · 09/09/2016 11:51

You sound like you really want to go (and everyone will think you are great attending a wedding so close to your due date, good ego boost!) so I would go. Also, see it as a bit of an adventure, you could have your baby on a train (quite unlikely, they don't pop out like they show us on the soaps!) I'm currently pregnant, due any day also, but have another little one. Currently you are just two so I would go!! Let us know how it is!!

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3boys3dogshelp · 09/09/2016 11:55

If you feel absolutely fine then I think I'd go with notes and a hospital bag with me- it's only 4 hours back again on the train - no reason for that to be too difficult with a newborn really. You might end up having to do an emergency mothercare run if you actually had the baby there but it's not the end of the world if you do. The only thing to be aware of is I think that some hospitals won't let the baby leave without a car seat, but it might be pretty difficult to take it!

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WhatTheActualFugg · 09/09/2016 11:55

Having a baby is having a baby isn't it, wherever you are. It sounds like it'll be a really lovely time for you both.

Just make sure you're well prepared. Make sure you know where all the maternity hospitals are along the train journey, take your stuff with you. Sling, nappies, cotton wool, little bottle for bum cleaning water, baby clothes, breast pads and big sanitary pads.

What's the worst that can happen? You'll end up in a hospital you don't know. Its not really that bad, is it?

As for getting back, you just hope on the train, baby in a sling.

It's sounds like a wonderful adventure!!

Have fun!!

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WutheringTights · 09/09/2016 11:56

My first labour took two days. With my second I knew by around 9am that this was it but wasn't properly in labour until around 4.30ish and had DD at 9.30 (at the hospital from7ish) That was considered a quick labour! You'll be fine on the train.

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WhatTheActualFugg · 09/09/2016 11:56

hop on the train

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wheresthel1ght · 09/09/2016 11:56

Take your maternity notes and bag, maybe make sure you know where the nearest maternity unit to the wedding is and perhaps give them a call to let them know you are visiting the area and enjoy the wedding!!

Make sure you know taxi numbers/who is tee total at the wedding to drive you if necessary!

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