Dd (8) had a best friend from reception through to yr 3. In summer term friend (A) decided she no longer wanted to be friends with DD. It caused huge amounts of upset on my daughter's part, they had the same friendship groups and A was now telling them that she didn't want to play with DD and so the other girls were leaving her out too. She was v bewildered. I'm not blind to her faults, I know she can be bossy and silly sometimes, but she is a kind and caring girl who absolutely loved A. I think A outgrew the friendship and DD was a bit smothering, I get that, but if A was speaking to her the day was ok and if she was telling the others not to play she was v sad. I hoped it would all die down over the summer but DD bounced into school on day 1 and every single day since she's had tummy ache. She hasn't said it's friendship related although I have asked, but other friends' mums have reported back that their girls have said there was an argument between A and DD on day 2. However apparently on day 3 A came over to ask her to play. So it sounds as though the cycle is starting again.
Here's the tricky bit. I started teaching A clarinet back when they were all friends (it's my job). She came after school and then her mum picked them up and took them to another club. The arrangement is still nominally in place, although was strained last term. DD will still say she wants to be friends, but is at the mercy of A's moods. I am just wondering if teaching her in Dd's house and forcing a social interaction on the walk to the club isn't doing DD any favours.
I want to be professional about it, after all, I don't want to lose pupils and have it bandied around that I drop pupils at a moment's notice, but my first loyalty is absolutely to my daughter. I was hoping the parents would say A didn't want to continue, as obviously they hear A's side, and the mum is clearly not enamoured with DD, so would keep her out of the way, but nothing has been said to that effect. The club and lessons resume next week.
And, as an aside, I am so sad that year 3-4 girls are so bitchy and horrid. They seem to be so mean to each other. I don't remember upsets like this.
AIBU?
To stop teaching her
Narnia72 · 08/09/2016 22:37
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What ChicRock said.
Dd stays in her room (or wherever) while the lesson takes place. A then leaves when fetched by her parent without any contact with your dd.
It's difficult I know, op. My dh is a private music teacher and sometimes it can feel like your home's not your own for the rest of the family. I'd just say to A's mum that you've had to reshuffle your timetable and that A will have to change the time/day of her lesson. I totally get the bit about losing out financially if you have to teach A at her house not many people do
Hope it works out ok.
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