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to change schools within the first week ? Y3

(14 Posts)
AlphaBites Wed 07-Sep-16 13:49:45

DC has gone back to her primary school happy and the jump to the higher year so far has been good.

First day back dealt with, had no concerns or issues going in though. Got a phone call later that day 'Are you still looking for a school place with us ?' - Totally shocked as had applied late in the summer term to be told 'No we are all full.'

Small back story : DC is an unstatemented but has a school SEN plan pupil with a processing disorder, school SENCO and I have a good relationship, if I have a concern or question then I can usually speak or see him within a day or two. When she left Yr 2 there were MASSIVE gaps in her education and her report was not great. I expect not all children are going to be prime minister and can't all be super acheiving top of the class, but I have hoped for 'working within or towards' - she only had 2 of these, everything else was behind.

I was so sad to read her report as she is already in intervention that I thought perhaps a change of school would be what was needed, SENCO seemed to think that a statement possibly would be needed later on in KS2, but none would happen now due to lack of need and child not being 'that bad' currently.

So I went to see this new school today (same distance from home currently) saw the first half and thought 'Fantastic, yes it would be the right thing to do.'

Saw the Head Teacher and the Senco and came away feeling shit and there is no hope anywhere for dc perhaps. They explained that going from what I explained and what current action was being taken at her current school there would be very little to no chance of her being assessed by anyone as there are considerably greater needs of other pupils at their school. Senco also explained that as DC sounds like an anxious child (she is) that it would take a lot for her to settle in and start learning, I was prepared for this though.

New school is very acadamically focused, their recent OFSTED even highlights that the SEN gaps between the SEN children and average children are virutally nil, the SECO talked me through the strategies they use which all sounded fantastic which they don't do at her current school and I think would work for her, but the move would take a real hit to her confidence/anxiety - the class sizes also increase as well, they go from 30 to 34 in Y3 hence why they have a space, the physical building size as well is smaller (think old village school building that has been extended) and the children have less space per room than at her current school.

DH feels we are gaining nothing sending her to a new school as emotionally her needs must come first (I agree) and wants to keep her at the current one where she is happy, settled and we just do extra things at home with her to help - I have been doing things at home with her though and I struggle not to get frustrated by it, she then feels the frustration and we have tears as she is so keen to please and hates feeling like she is in trouble or naughty despite all our assurances that she is not.

I however have this niggling feeling that yes it can take a while to get her settled and she may fall behind but the school seem to be having better results (I know isn't everything) but the big emphasis they have family and team spirits (very sporty) I just think we would be mad to give this opportunity up.

We are at a stalemate today as I think the risk to her happiness short term is worth the gamble taking her to a school that yes might be smaller building and slightly larger class size but the Leadership Team is great and the teacher are motivated and great at their job (results speak for it) but for a more solid education that she just doesn't seem to be getting at her current one.

If we move her, it will be down to me having pushed for it and if it doesn't work I know it will cause a rift in our marriage too sad

AIBU to consider a move like this so soon in her year ?

aquashiv Wed 07-Sep-16 13:54:29

What does you daughter want to do? Does she want to change school?

candlesnotlights Wed 07-Sep-16 13:56:37

I think I agree with your husband. There is so much more to be learnt T school than academic subjects. You are lucky your child is happy there. An unhappy, unsettled child will not learn anywhere, no matter how good the teachers.

Have you thought about private tutoring instead?

candlesnotlights Wed 07-Sep-16 13:57:07

Ps. flowershere's a hug x this parenting thing is hard!

AlphaBites Wed 07-Sep-16 14:17:30

candles - We had a private tutor over the summer, hard to find one in this neck of the woods, but I didn't find them that great. DC needs one who is a bit energetic and 'fun' to get her engaged, this one just had her doing pages from work books and was very old school. I stopped after 4 weeks as half way through a lesson the tutor walked out abruptly came to find me and said "She's forgotten a lot here - I think we'll call it a day." she said goodbye and left. DC looked at me and said "Did I make her mad ?" sad

candlesnotlights Wed 07-Sep-16 14:23:17

Awe, that's a shame. Year 3 is still quite young, and you'll be amazed at how a jump up to juniors can change a child's learning. Mine are now year 4 and 5 and they flourished mid year 3.

Does the school have learning mentor?

I think whichever decision you make you are going to second guess yourself. I just personally think a child that is happy in school is the most important thing. Learning can come later..,. Happiness may not xx

wwyd123 Wed 07-Sep-16 14:35:32

I would leave her where she is if she is happy and the SENCO at the new school doesn't have the resources to help her, even if they have good ideas.

I think your expectations were a little high expecting her to achieve the expected levels if she is on the SEN register. I think the SENCO is a good one if they have already placed her on the register and have identified the processing disorder already. My DS is also behind at school and I have been told he had to wait till year 3 before they would investigate (I called the council and they confirmed this ) I have pushed for him to get extra help and he is on there sen register now(just started year 3). But It is usually a week or two from asking to see the SENCO.

AnyTheWiser Wed 07-Sep-16 14:40:02

The tutor sounds terrible! I promise, they aren't all like that!

AlphaBites Wed 07-Sep-16 19:38:59

Anyone else ?

CwtchMeQuick Wed 07-Sep-16 19:47:29

From what you've written, it sounds like current school are quite on top of things and that the other school don't think a move would be of much benefit? Personally I wouldn't move because I don't think the potential emotional upheaval is worth it.

Witchend Wed 07-Sep-16 19:47:58

If the other school is pushy academically then I'd have thought it's more than possible that she will just get frustrated and feel "stupid" as she can't keep up.
If a school gets good results it's not necessarily good at bringing on children that need that little bit extra, and that sound more what she needs.
Round here one of the secondary has a reputation of pushing the top. Which in real terms means those,struggling are encouraged to look for "a more suitable" school. And if they stay give very little extra help.
Another school has got a poor reputation, especially academically, but I know from people I know where they shine is the child who is struggling-they'll get a D from a child expected to get U. That's a much bigger achievement than the other school, but doesn't look as good on paper.

Just2MoreSeasons Wed 07-Sep-16 19:49:16

I'd leave her too (am an ex teacher and now private tutor). She would fall further behind whilst re-settling.
What you need is a new tutor who will engage her and make her feel good. I have two students like this and I work hard on their confidence -it's very important to me that the child is eager to come to me and we work things out together. Can you find another tutor? Maybe a teacher from school would do it straight after school, or maybe there is a teacher on maternity leave who could spare an hour per week? How about your DH? If you do it yourselves make sure you are going over work she has a good chance of being able to do-don't make it too hard.
If you have the money, how about getting a private assessment done by an educational psychologist making sure they know you ant strategies in how to help her.
Good luck flowers

Shurelyshomemistake Wed 07-Sep-16 19:50:45

Mmmm.... my feeling is the new school is either being very honest or trying to put you off, not very subtly.

They say she'd have no chance of being assessed. By whom?? Do they mean as in, for an EHC plan? If so that strikes me as disingenuous. Because you can make the request and if the LA refuses you can appeal. It's nothing to do with their being a high number of more 'deserving' pupils in the new school. I'd get some advice from SOS-SEN or IPSEA.

Misselthwaite Wed 07-Sep-16 20:00:53

Topping up at home will help but is unlikely to be the same as a school committed to ensuring provision for SEN pupils is spot on. Don't underestimate the impact on her anxiety of attending a school where her needs aren't met. Primary schools in my experience aren't usually well equipped to deal with SEN students and there are huge differences in provision. If you have a place then I would move her. The argument that education is so much more than tests and levels yes it is but if you're struggling in the early years lack of input then can have enormous implications long term.

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