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To not cater for parents coming to DD's b'day party?

(53 Posts)
Willow33 Wed 07-Sep-16 13:33:23

Dd is turning 4 and we are having a small afternoon party at home - may 8-10 children. We expect at this age, that parents will stay. We have been to a few parties recently and DH feels that we were very well looked after - amazing bbqs, hosts ensuring glass was never empty. The children were generally left to play with some toys that were around (e.g. one was on a very sunny day so lots of outdoor equipment).
I said to DH that ours is going to be very focussed on doing lots of games and activities with the children - e.g. decorating biscuits, some sort of art activity and traditional party games. I feel that we can give parents mugs by the kettle with biscuits, and some other nibbles and this is fine.
DH thinks we need to cater for parents more than this. Advice please.

phillipp Wed 07-Sep-16 13:35:24

What times is the party and how long.

Neither of you is unreasonable. But, personally, if it was 2 hours or more and ran over a meal time, I would provide food for adults.

Not really sure what activities you are doing has to do with it though.

HereComesYourMam Wed 07-Sep-16 13:35:49

I think you're right - it's fine for this kind of party. When it's more of a social thing with kids running around freestyle and parents standing around chatting, that's a bit different.

SolomanDaisy Wed 07-Sep-16 13:36:13

I would cater for parents. But I wouldn't try and do traditional party games with 4 year-olds and everyone has a limited amount of energy to run a party, so you're just focusing it on something else!

NoNutsPlease Wed 07-Sep-16 13:36:49

Tea and biscuits sounds fine to me, I definitely wouldn't except anything more.

However I have a toddler/ preschooler so not the most experienced 'party mum'.

mouldycheesefan Wed 07-Sep-16 13:37:13

A minimum would be hot and cold drinks and biscuits.
Nibbles and wine are nice depending on time of day.
These people could become good friends of yours in time. One of you can be supervising games and the other csn be perhaps helping with that whilst hosting parents. Not all parents will stay anyway.
I would treat them as friends you haven't made yet and show some hospitality, doesn't need to be a bbq!

Willow33 Wed 07-Sep-16 13:37:44

It is 2.5 hours. Party food will be of course given to the children.

MitzyLeFrouf Wed 07-Sep-16 13:37:46

I consider tea, biscuits and nibbles to be catering for the parents!

RiverTam Wed 07-Sep-16 13:38:14

I think tea and biscuits is fine, though make them nice biscuits, not just rich tea - but I think you need to be a bit more of a host to them than you're suggesting. At this age it's a social occasions for the parents too, who may well help you out with the children, so don't make them feel like they're an inconvenience.

If the time of the party is at an actual mealtime, then I'd do more food for the adults.

Willow33 Wed 07-Sep-16 13:39:01

I like the idea of wine. smile

FiaMarrow Wed 07-Sep-16 13:43:56

If I'm doing party food for the kids then I make sure there's enough for Mums and Dads to grab some as well.

At the most recent party DD attended there was prosecco and beers for the parents. I love that Mum smile

ChicRock Wed 07-Sep-16 13:44:33

I'm with your DH, I think a bit more for the parents would be nice. Your party ideas sound lovely but very rarely have I been to a party where a bunch of 3 and 4 year old are wanting to sit nicely decorating biscuits and do arty stuff, most of the time they prefer to run around like lunatics bashing each other with balloons grin.

candlesnotlights Wed 07-Sep-16 13:50:44

Tea and biscuits are fine! Some parents may prefer not to drink at a kids party anyway insane people. I've had wine and beers before but I knew all the parents really well.

Some parties I've been too, the parents ordered in pizza for us mums and dads. That was a good party grin

Must say, my dc are not in juniors and choose to have a friend come out with us on a special day out. Thank god, because I bloody hated the whole party etiquette stage!!

Good luck and stock up on wine for after wine

Willow33 Wed 07-Sep-16 14:02:24

I am sure DH will be happy with beers being offered too.
Yes, it's true, will need to have some loose structure for the children to run around too!

redskytonight Wed 07-Sep-16 14:07:39

I'm sure I was only ever offered tea and biscuits when I went to children's parties. And it was expected that parents could help themselves to party food after the DC had finished. I wouldn't expect to be catered for at all as an accompanying parent.

merrygoround51 Wed 07-Sep-16 14:09:08

Why not throw out a cheese board, some antipasti - olive, meats etc - as well as nice crisps and dips.

I would rather do that than not feed them at all, its quite rude.

HyacinthFuckit Wed 07-Sep-16 14:10:24

I'd probably add some crisps and nibbly things too awaits flaming for promoting high salt consumption. Tea, biscuits, snacks- fine. I would also not necessarily expect all of the child invitees to be willing to sit still and do activities either! Build in some running around like demented things time.

EreniTheFrog Wed 07-Sep-16 14:12:54

IME, if the kiddie food is any good (ie has taste and nutritional value rather than simply being platefuls of chicken nuggets and crisps) the parents tend to tuck in and eat most of it anyway. At most parties we go to, the children are far too busy running around giggling to bother with eating, and it's the grown ups who sit and munch and natter. So yes, I would just make sure there's plenty of tea/coffee/wine/etc and a few biscuits, and then just let the parents tuck into whatever the kids don't eat!

takesnoprisoners Wed 07-Sep-16 14:15:20

If you were well catered for, why will you not do the same?

SandyPantz Wed 07-Sep-16 14:16:00

I would never not offer anyone coming to my home for more than a quick drop off/pick up some sort of refreshments

If you're not gonna cater for the parents, then expect them to drop'n'run!

You want them to stay and help or at least mind their own kids - make 'em a cuppa!

Or at least leave a plate of bickies and some grown up pop and a help yourself set up

AnnaMarlowe Wed 07-Sep-16 14:16:05

We used to always leave a table at the back of the hall set up for adults - tea, coffee, some more grown up biscuits and cakes and point the adults in its direction on the way in.

I'm with you children's parties should be about the children and of course you can do structured party games with 4 yos - it's the perfect age.

Why not ask a good friend to make sure the milk is kept topped up and the adults are looked after?

SandyPantz Wed 07-Sep-16 14:17:04

If I take DDs to a party where there's no drinks for grown ups I'll go off and get a coffee elsewhere and them come back near the end.

You have to be okay with that if you aren't hosting the adults.

youngestisapsycho Wed 07-Sep-16 14:17:10

At age 4 mine were left at parties so I could escape for 2 hours peace!
I certainly wouldn't expect to be fed because I decided to stay.
Tea and biscuits/cake is fine.

MitzyLeFrouf Wed 07-Sep-16 14:17:15

To be fair to the OP she did say she'll offering tea, biscuits and nibbles.

CafeCremeEtCroissant Wed 07-Sep-16 14:17:55

It entirely depends on what you want to do 😊 and whether you want to make friends with the other parents or just host a children's party. Either is fine. We've done both depending on the age, time of year etc.

One of the best ones was a summer garden party with the new climbing frame, sandpit, hired bouncy castle, picnic on the lawn with blowing bubbles for kids & drinking bubbles for adults! 😁 Lots of nibbles for adults. Lots of the guests lived in the village so staggered walked home & others stayed the night...after an impromptu BBQ 😁

Great day.

If you enjoyed the 'well hosted' days & liked the other adults, why not do that? The kids will enjoy it just as much as a more organised 'kids' party.

Easiest - hiring event venue! Soft play/climbing etc 😁

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