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To find this ignorant

(135 Posts)
whistlingtea Wed 07-Sep-16 07:39:27

I have an unusual name (and I know the way things go on here: I'm not going to disclose it!) It isn't a foreign name (not that that should make any difference) or hard to pronounce. It just isn't one frequently heard.

New people have recently joined the company.

They can't (apparently) get it right hmm and their way around this is to call me any name that sounds vaguely similar. The most common one they've come up with is a pop singer with a slightly tarnished reputation but I've also been called two names that are not even close to mine (almost like someone introducing themselves as Annabel and being called Rebecca - because they 'hear' it incorrectly they come up with nicknames that are weird) and I've heard them saying to clients 'just call her ...'


My name has been a source of irritation all my life to be honest because people persist in using a very similar but still different one (think Isobel/Isabella) but this is beyond anything I've had before.

The worst thing is I really don't think they are intentionally being rude. They just genuinely seem incapable of getting it in their heads that not everyone is called Sarah or Clare or Becky or something.

There are no nicknames I can use that I'd want to.

AIBU, and what the hell can I do? I really don't want to spend the next however many months being referred to as a pop singer I don't even LIKE! sad

SabineUndine Wed 07-Sep-16 07:42:40

I would correct them and keep on correcting them.

whistlingtea Wed 07-Sep-16 07:42:56

I do.

MyKingdomForBrie Wed 07-Sep-16 07:44:31

This thread will now be 90% guesses at your name!!

Just politely but firmly ask them to stop being idiots. Say 'sorry but my name is X, please could you use it'. They sound disrespectful frankly.

MyKingdomForBrie Wed 07-Sep-16 07:45:10

Hmm. Have HR tell them? Or your manager?

ChaosTrulyReigns Wed 07-Sep-16 07:45:32

Or just call all the offenders Selwyn?

acornsandnuts Wed 07-Sep-16 07:45:47

Passive aggressively wear a name badge with your name broke down phonetically.

HaPPy8 Wed 07-Sep-16 07:46:09

Britanny smile

Amelie10 Wed 07-Sep-16 07:47:02

Keep correcting them or just accept it. If it's been happening all your life then it sounds like everyone else thinks the same of your name. I sympathize, people always add an extra letter to my name I don't know why. But I've just gotten over correcting them. The important people know how to pronounce it.

FinallyHere Wed 07-Sep-16 07:47:08

My MiL never managed to pronounce my name, she used a random variety of similar-ish names. After the first few times repeating it correctly after her attempt, I just gave up...

FayKorgasm Wed 07-Sep-16 07:47:27

I think it's very rude to not learn someone's name. There's a few unusual names where I work, it's not a hardship to learn how to say them.

pussinasda Wed 07-Sep-16 07:47:48

i had the same at work i havent got a common name but its not unusual.
just start saying their name wrong like if their name is bill call them tony
when they correct you , make it lighthearted but tell them your name is xxxx not yyyyy
rinse and repeat

sooperdooper Wed 07-Sep-16 07:51:35

Ugh how bloody annoying! I would correct them clearly and politely every single time, just say 'no, it's xxx' don't get into discussion and don't ignore it

Greyponcho Wed 07-Sep-16 07:56:24

It's ignorant and lazy, like when people send me emails but use an alternative spelling of my name, even though it is there written in full in my email address. Sigh.
they are being shits for telling clients to call you something that isn't your name - who would actually do that?! confused

whistlingtea Wed 07-Sep-16 07:57:51

Amelie, it happened a LOT at school. I grew up in a very poor area and most people didn't have what you would call very widening life experiences, but that was mistaking it for a more common variant - probably like Carolyn/Caroline.

I didn't get called a random different name, though.

I honestly correct them every time. Jokes haven't worked so I've had to be firm, but polite 'look, sorry, I'm easygoing but I have no sense of humour where my name is! <big smile> it's XXX.'

Hasn't worked.

I am miserable today

Chikara Wed 07-Sep-16 07:59:12

You should post this in the baby name section to warn all those parents looking for "something unusual" for their DC grin

In reality not much more you can do. Keep correcting them.
However although I am not in the majority on MN I think that nobody can really get others' names right all the time.
I had a colleague called Meri - do you think anyone didn't call her Mary??!!

Waltermittythesequel Wed 07-Sep-16 08:00:14

I am miserable today

Bit of an overreaction?

I just think you shouldn't let it bother you so much.

ladylanky Wed 07-Sep-16 08:00:37

My friend has an unusual name - I've only met one of her ( I'm many ways!) and she gives people a few chances to get it right but if they keep getting it wron after she corrects them she calls them by a different name. Sometimes totally random and sometimes a variation on their name. That works - either they get her name right or it becomes their "thing"

Dakota1 Wed 07-Sep-16 08:02:48

There is one option - can they just call you by the first letter of the name, assuming that is okay with you? As long as it doesn't start with 'S' should be fine imo smile

GinIsIn Wed 07-Sep-16 08:03:57

I have had this all my life. I have a very common name but not the English spelling of it.

What drives me mad is when people spell it wrong on emails- YOU'VE HAD TO TYPE MY NAME CORRECTLY IN THE EMAIL ADDRESS!!

Champagneformyrealfriends Wed 07-Sep-16 08:05:33

Is it like Siobhan and calling you Sinead? That's just lazy. It's rude not to learn somebody's name. I had a manager who called me Sam for so long I started answering to it blush I should have corrected her but it was really awkward.

gamerchick Wed 07-Sep-16 08:05:50

Then I think going down the calling them random names may be the way to go. Annoy and confuse the whole place then when your point is made have the conversation again.

Or when someone addresses you by the wrong name look over your shoulder and say 'soz I thought you were talking to me' then turn your back.

whistlingtea Wed 07-Sep-16 08:06:34

I know, Walter smile but I have to admit, it does get me down. It's like being in year 8 again and being taunted.

It just makes me feel like a stranger, having this huge massive stupid fuss made about what I'm called. It's so embarrassing when someone is slowly spelling out some random word (not even a name half the time 'muh- boo- oh-duh' and someone else saying, 'no, it's muh -bear-eye-duh' and I'm saying through my teeth 'no, it's MELISSA.'

(Above illustrative examples not literal!)

Mouikey Wed 07-Sep-16 08:07:31

If they are advising clients to call you by the wrong name then definitely talk to your manager or HR as that is not professional or acceptable.

Chikara Wed 07-Sep-16 08:10:01

PS - mine is a fairly simple name with four mane spelling variants - very common amongst my age group although not now. People regularly shift the stress on the syllables , add an "a" at the end or spell it wrong. TBH I don't really mind. I answer to most things - but it is annoying.

Don't let it get you down though. As Amelie10 said - the important people get it right.

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