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To be passed off with most of my adult family....

(24 Posts)
Hadeda Tue 06-Sep-16 23:20:34

DF birthday today and we planned dinner at ours to celebrate.
I got up v early to make apple crumble before work as it's his favourite pud.
Busy day at work, boss is on hols this week so I'm doing her job and mine, and supervising number of juniors. All fine but does mean extra home stuff is not easy.
Got home just after 7pm, absolute earliest I could.
DBro is here for DF dinner. He recently broke up with long term girlfriend but is also just back from amazing 2 week travelling holiday (planned long before breakup). I only need to say hello to know he is in a seriously sour mood.
Dinner progresses (made by me). We give DF his presents. DBro has got him old railway books. Very cool and DF remembers them from his youth. All happy. I've got him an experience rather than a thing - got authorisation for a day off, my choosing in Sept or Oct, to take DF to see the Mary Rose. "Oh", says he, "I saw that once already." With gritted teeth I point out that I know that (I WAS THERE!!!!) but that was 8 years ago and now it's not being sprayed and all the artifacts are on display. And there's a Jutland exhibition that's up his alley. My gift doesn't cut the mustard. The cheap chocs I got him from the DDs rate higher.
They come to leave. I nip to the toilet, can hear all hell breaking loose over plastic bags. Yep, plastic bags. DF has something for DBro and wants him to use his bag for life. DBro doesn't want bag for life. DH gets in on the act and searches for another bag. I sort it - bag for life back to DF, merry goodbye to super sour DBro, pop DF in taxi I ordered him. Door shuts and DH starts massive row about where plastic bags are. Seriously!! Says he keeps a supply under the stairs for use. First I've heard of it. I've done the shopping for years, and sorted bags for years, without ever meeting this "supply". And, seriously folks, a fight over PLASTIC BAGS..... ??!!
DH stomps off to bed. An hour ago. I've just finished washing up and sorting work emails.
So, first up this morning and last to bed. By an hour at least each side. Special dinner made for 7 people to eat. Pulled out all stops to be home to make said dinner. Sorted a day of leave to take DF to something I thought he'd like. And turns out I've done it all wrong. AND I've ruined some secret plastic bag system.
Some times I just don't know why I bother. And now it's 11pm and I have a meeting at 8:30am tomorrow.
I know that's a mega rant and fairly self pitying but I am bloody passed off with all 3 of them.

busyboysmum Tue 06-Sep-16 23:23:47

Selfish bloody men the lot of them. My sympathies op flowers

BurningBridges Tue 06-Sep-16 23:24:42

I would be beyond passed, I'd be utterly pissed. Do they all have form for this?

TheWitTank Tue 06-Sep-16 23:26:28

Yeah, I'm with you. Fuckers, the lot of them flowers

CaptainCrunch Tue 06-Sep-16 23:26:37

I don't blame you op, selfish bunch of cunts. Don't come back from work tomorrow, book into a boutique hotel and fuck the lot of them grin

ImperialBlether Tue 06-Sep-16 23:27:07

You have a family of bastards, OP. Next time, do absolutely bloody nothing. As for your husband's bags, tell him to fill them with his stuff and fuck off if he feels that strongly about it.

I am furious on your behalf!

SlightlyperturbedOwl Tue 06-Sep-16 23:27:39

flowers (am intrigued by the secret plastic bag system) Have a day off of your choosing to sneak off on your own somewhere you want to go and bollocks to the lot of them.

Iflyaway Tue 06-Sep-16 23:28:54

They sound delightful. All of them.

Question is why are you bending over backwards to accommodate it while holding down a job too.

Over to you.

GiddyOnZackHunt Tue 06-Sep-16 23:31:28

Wankers. Next birthday is at Wimpy. That'll learn 'em. With presents wrapped in plastic bags.

Tootsiepops Tue 06-Sep-16 23:31:42

I'm pissed off too. Just back from visiting my family over the long weekend. Got stuck in traffic on the way back from the airport so is v late. Husband announces he's off to bed whilst I struggle feeding, changing and getting our 9 month old off to sleep. Washing on, bottles sterilised for the morning, shopping put away. He's sound asleep. Arsehole.

GiddyOnZackHunt Tue 06-Sep-16 23:32:32

*obviously does not apply if next birthday is yours grin

OrsonWellsHat Tue 06-Sep-16 23:35:05

Ltb's, bunch of ungrateful twunts.

SabineUndine Tue 06-Sep-16 23:39:44

DF next birthday/Christmas: Amazon vouchers. Let him sort it himself. And tell DH you're going for a pampering day on Saturday so he can look after the kids.

Hadeda Tue 06-Sep-16 23:44:05

Bloody typo in the subject!! Sorry.

Now heading to bed. Thank you for sympathising with my rant....

DF is v old school about men v women. After DM died I sorted his pension credit, winter fuel etc. I signed him up with doc and made sure he had flu jab. I ran his housing applications, logged on weekly, applied etc. Did leg work when he was offered a flat. Sorted moving, new carpet, gave him spare furniture we had to set him up. All with full time long hours job and 2 DC (then 5 and 6). DBro sorted a couch and TV cabinet off ebay. Guess who got the credit for setting him up in the flat...?
So I know the sun shines our my brothers ass and I'm used to it. But when all 3 of them piss me off on the same night I struggle to keep my cool!

Hadeda Tue 06-Sep-16 23:46:29

Tootsiepops - sorry you're also having a crap evening. And it's too late to promise yourself a glass of wine once calm is restored. Hope you get to bed soon!

JudyCoolibar Wed 07-Sep-16 00:03:43

You are so NBU. Surely we've all been given presents we've got already or which we hate and have done an Oscar-worthy job about how delighted we are? When someone's gone to a lot of trouble for you, you just don't whinge about it.

But anyway, your DF's being an idiot about the Mary Rose, because you're right, the exhibition is totally different now and really well worth seeing. I have a family of boat nutters and went to see the Mary Rose a few times when they were restoring it and basically you couldn't see much more than a wooden hulk under a spray mist. When I saw the new exhibition I really enjoyed it and was fascinated by all the artefacts which they had married up with the areas where they were originally found so that you could see, for instance, which part of the ship the surgeon's cabin was in. It's a brilliant present, tell him I said so.

Rosamund1 Wed 07-Sep-16 00:06:32


It's someone's birthday but they are a bit of a twat. You don't have to get a well thought out present that will be spat on. Next year what's the present? A box of chocolate and a smile.

Wake up early to make a special dinner and are treated like crap? Next time; frozen lasagne & ready made trifle.
They will still complain.

DFs shower leaking all over the bathroom? Don't run around sort in a plumber. Say Oh, that's terrible, I'm sure golden is sorting something out. He said he's working late this week? That's a shame - sorry got to do some housework- see you soon.

Until it is clear you are not a slave/servant and will do FAVOURS for people only if they are appreciated.

lordStrange Wed 07-Sep-16 00:09:57

What a shower of shits OP.

Next birthday give DF a fucking Bag For Life for his present grin.

Sounds like they view you as so effortlessly capable that they don't recognise the effort you put in to being so capable, and don't thank you for it. Or they're just twats.

Hadeda Wed 07-Sep-16 00:14:32

Now finished being angry and feeling pretty upset. Think it's time to sleep before I tie myself in knots.

lordStrange - I like that idea, thanks for sorting Christmas!

Night all!

Canyouforgiveher Wed 07-Sep-16 00:19:27

Did anyone thank you???

Strikes me your father and brother are all about themselves, not you and you have married someone quite like them ....

Text your dad and say "as you don't really want to see Mary Rose again, I've decided to take X - I know you won't mind".

WhatsMyNameNow Wed 07-Sep-16 00:25:15

The Mary Rose present was a great idea. They are all meanies. I hope you let them know.

RepentAtLeisure Wed 07-Sep-16 00:34:03

Well then - stop. Let your grumpy DB sort out your misogynist DF. If you keep making an effort for him, he'll keep seeing it as what he's entitled to. Let him see what happens without your involvement.

RepentAtLeisure Wed 07-Sep-16 00:35:23

(The term 'old school' is a cop-out. People never stop being capable of improving. If he was an 'old school racist' nobody would stand for it.)

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