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To realise that joining Mumsnet is quite scary

(105 Posts)
Choosparp Tue 06-Sep-16 22:31:35

..and seems to involve lots of "in jokes" and acronyms that newbies won't get. I was active 10 years ago when DS1 was born, then left for ages because I had another baby then my husband died. Coming back this last few weeks for support of my SEN DS2 (see! I get the lingo still!) I feel like an outsider. I'm 43, widowed, remarried, have a successful job. SEN channel has been fab, but I don't think I will join the main threads. SN is fab. Other threads seem to be so mean in places. Why are we narking at each other? FFS.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta Tue 06-Sep-16 22:35:13

<grabs popcorn>

Why do people start threads expressly to slag off the site though? It just seems a tad goady. Would these people walk into a room full of strangers and say 'well some of you are really mean'?

It is what it is. Like in real life it has its share of twats and awesome people.

ABloodyDifficultWoman Tue 06-Sep-16 22:36:20

What Livia said. What's the point of starting a thread like this in AIBU of all places?

LiviaDrusillaAugusta Tue 06-Sep-16 22:36:49

Oh and at the risk of proving your point, why start a thread to say you won't be joining any main threads?

You do realise you posted in AIBU? Not known to be the gentlest of places...

DonkeyOaty Tue 06-Sep-16 22:37:23

click here for the acronym list

Welcome back to MN. I am very sorry to hear you have been widowed, that's hard flowers

AIBU is quite tough talking, _chat is much calmer

AnchorDownDeepBreath Tue 06-Sep-16 22:38:30

Yep, why come to moan about us at us?

Floggingmolly Tue 06-Sep-16 22:39:21

How can you feel like an outsider on a site that gets a couple of million posts per day?

MsVestibule Tue 06-Sep-16 22:39:42

There really are not many in jokes, and the acronyms are not difficult to remember. Some threads can turn a bit nasty, most don't.

Also, what Livia said.


Choosparp Tue 06-Sep-16 22:40:40

I'm not slagging of the site in the slightest. Just saying that coming back to it after some years it's hard to integrate. You have to know the lingo. You are in or out. AS you have just demonstrated to me. I didn't do it right. But I have had fab chats with the SEN folks about my current challenge. I just think MN is hard to break into. It's a force to be reckoned with, and not all parents are able to take that challenge.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta Tue 06-Sep-16 22:40:46

Not sure what replies you were expecting. And you know that whether or not you post on the main boards is up to you and doesn't actually bother anyone else either way?

LiviaDrusillaAugusta Tue 06-Sep-16 22:41:20

Oh and we aren't all parents on here these days so there are a lot more different views

00100001 Tue 06-Sep-16 22:41:52


I love these vipers

Tossers the lot of them grin

LiviaDrusillaAugusta Tue 06-Sep-16 22:42:02

Other threads seem to be so mean in places. Why are we narking at each other? FFS.

Is that you not slagging the site off?

devilinmyshoes Tue 06-Sep-16 22:42:14

Sorry for your loss OP. You're not being unreasonable, confrontational seems to be almost the default conversational style around here these days.

Soubriquet Tue 06-Sep-16 22:42:23

As with anything, surely you spend a bit of time reading and understanding it before posting?

justdontevenfuckingstart Tue 06-Sep-16 22:42:31

No slagging off and why the need for popcorn? agreeing with op tbh.

Chippednailvarnishing Tue 06-Sep-16 22:42:53

You're right OP.
We are all horrid, it's a shame that there's absolutely no choice in posting and that it's compulsory.

I'd offer you some cake, but that's positively dangerous.

WankingMonkey Tue 06-Sep-16 22:44:11

AIBU is quite scary for a newbie. I was scared of posting when I joined by after my first flaming/bun fight I got used to it..but yes, lurking first makes this place seem very very scary.

IfTheCapFitsWearIt Tue 06-Sep-16 22:44:35


You can get lots of lovely support ftom this site. AIBU is notorious, and often spilld out on to other areas.

Stick with chat, and check out some long running threads that you can join to feel more in a community. Like..... ninjas, night owls, the sweary thread, all friendly. There are loads of threads like these.


WankingMonkey Tue 06-Sep-16 22:44:58

I was also bollocked for using the word 'hubby' instead of DH grin Didn't realise it was more acceptable to say cunt than it was hubby.

acasualobserver Tue 06-Sep-16 22:45:53

You are in or out.

There is some truth in this.

Chippednailvarnishing Tue 06-Sep-16 22:46:06

There's over 9 million visitors to this site a month, how can you say it's hard to break in to.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta Tue 06-Sep-16 22:46:13

just Because if you go to the bother of starting a thread having a go at the entire site there are likely to be 'robust' replies - hence the popcorn.

Not sure what you expect us to do - just apologise for being a bunch of cunts and promise to be nice?

Some posters talk utter shit in someone's opinion so people will pull them on it.

Mycatsabastard Tue 06-Sep-16 22:46:35

Welcome back and I'm sorry about the rough time you've had over the last 10 years. Glad life is improving though.

I've been here about 2 years now. I did a lot of reading before posting but find that there will be some 'in jokes' about recent threads just because they have been so memorable.

The wedding in Maui one is a particular favourite but also the tendency to offer a creme egg to anyone who is a completely rude fucker on the off chance they may be having a bad day. There are often references to things I have no idea about but the longer I am here the more I pick up on.

And this site is wonderful for support for those needing it, provides much needed laughs when I need a bit of escape and if you want some nice chat about cats then pop over to the Litter Tray.

Memoires Tue 06-Sep-16 22:47:01

AIBU is very bunfighty. There are lots of very supportive people here on other boards though. Some people never go to AIBU at all.

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