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To not say anything? Saw DS being "pushed" out the way by nursery teacher

(56 Posts)
parlezvousfrancais Tue 06-Sep-16 16:52:46

I was 10 minutes early picking up DS (3) from nursery today and saw his group through the window waiting in a line to come inside. DS was at the front standing still i.e. not mucking around etc and the teacher was shouting a little girl's name over and over. Next thing the teacher put her hand on his head and very firmly turned him round (by the head) and pushed him backwards. When I saw it I was like wtf?! as it looked quite rough and unnecessary. However he seemed unperturbed by it so I'm not sure if it was okay for her to do that?

At the time I was shocked and angry but I'm wondering if I was overreacting. Is this okay? I didn't say anything and not sure if I should have or not?? I went to collect him and he was with a different teacher so I didn't see that particular one.

I don't want to come across like an overprotective mother but I'm not sure of the boundaries and if that's acceptable?

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Tue 06-Sep-16 16:54:52

Er, he's been assaulted.

At the very least she deserves a loud confrontation. Preferably with an audience to enhance her shame.

OlennasWimple Tue 06-Sep-16 16:56:40

Was he assaulted? In what way?

rosesarered9 Tue 06-Sep-16 16:58:57

YADNBU It is not appropriate for teachers to have physical contact with children without a good reason.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Tue 06-Sep-16 16:59:55

'Teacher' grabbed his head, twisted him round by his head and then pushed him.

He's in her care.

Imagine if I did that to one of the elderly folk I look after. I'd be sacked. And sent to court. And reported to SOVA.

He still has rights. Being little doesn't change that.

parlezvousfrancais Tue 06-Sep-16 17:00:08

I was ready to do that at the time when I saw it but then I stopped myself. I don't know why.

The thing is I'm normally a hot headed person and act first, think later so I have no idea why I didn't.

I'm now minimising it in my head but I know what I saw and know how I felt when I saw it!

rosesarered9 Tue 06-Sep-16 17:00:31

Are you in the UK?

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Tue 06-Sep-16 17:01:15

You were in shock.

Completely understandable to freeze and do nothing.

SandyY2K Tue 06-Sep-16 17:02:16

No way would I let that slide. Not a chance. I'd speak to the Nursery manager or if it's a school nursery I'd go to the headteacher and I'd be reporting it as a safeguarding incident immediately.

She would regret the day she ever laid a hand on my child like that.

A mealtime assistant said something sarcastic to my DD once and I was on the phone to the school the next day.

JenLindleyShitMom Tue 06-Sep-16 17:03:34

You need to say something! That isn't ok in any way shape or form. Even if he was attacking her she shouldn't be turning him by the head. There are ways to physically handle children when you are a childcare provider. That is not one of them. You have to stand up for your son. The fact he seems unperturbed suggests he is used to this!

Idliketobeabutterfly Tue 06-Sep-16 17:05:22

Yikes, I'd put in a formal complaint.

SandyY2K Tue 06-Sep-16 17:05:42

I can tell you that I conducted a disciplinary hearing when a teacher did less than that. It was reported to the LADO (local area designated officer) in the local authority and he was suspended pending the investigation.

That's a very serious matter. Please don't do nothing.

SandyY2K Tue 06-Sep-16 17:06:47

The fact he seems unperturbed suggests he is used to this!

Exactly!!

JenLindleyShitMom Tue 06-Sep-16 17:06:49

Sorry, childcare provider or educator.

parlezvousfrancais Tue 06-Sep-16 17:08:24

Ah fuck sad I wish I'd said something now! I was standing in reception and noticed there was cctv there but didn't see if there was any outside.

Have text DH so he'll phone probably when he gets it so will discuss with him though I know he'll be raging.

parlezvousfrancais Tue 06-Sep-16 17:08:53

Yes UK

redexpat Tue 06-Sep-16 17:09:01

I've never seen any of the nursery workers do as you describe, but I have seen them restrain a rather, boisterous boy when he was getting worked up. I have seen them turn heads but very gently when trying to get the childs attention, and calling their name hasn't worked.

JenLindleyShitMom Tue 06-Sep-16 17:10:21

You still can say something OP. It's not too late. In fact maybe better that you have taken time to think about what you want to say. But please do speak to the nursery manager.

JellyBelli Tue 06-Sep-16 17:11:31

Definately say something, thats not acceptable.

Sonders Tue 06-Sep-16 17:16:42

Jeez, would you ever do that to your son? If not then I think putting in a formal complaint is the least you should do!

lovelymummywholoveswine Tue 06-Sep-16 17:17:39

It's funny how we can act completely different then usual in shocking situations, so don't be angry that you didn't address issue there and then.

However, school is a partnership and if there is anything that you are worried about you must bring it up. This is your child and you have every right to go to the school and discuss your concerns.

I'd be tempted to speak to the head of early years rather than the teacher- then you can't be fobbed off, and if there have been other parents complaining it will be noted. Good luck and please let us know what you decide x

OlennasWimple Tue 06-Sep-16 17:24:01

Blimey - maybe I'm misunderstanding what you mean by "turning by the head", but I frequently put my hand on the top of the DC's head and turn it gently in another direction. Usually when they are saying they can't see something, I've told them where to look and they still can't see it. I didn't realise this could constitute assault - I wouldn't have had a problem with nursery teachers (who have to have physical contact with their little charges) doing it either confused

JenLindleyShitMom Tue 06-Sep-16 17:26:56

Olenna going by OP's description this was a lot more than turning his head to see something (which personally I wouldn't do or accept a teacher doing either)

LittleBeautyBelle Tue 06-Sep-16 17:28:27

The fact he seemed unperturbed means the teacher does stuff like this a lot! Not that it's ok. I think it's unacceptable behavior for a teacher. Something needs to be done about it, now. Would any of us do that to a student? I've never done that to my own child. It think's aggressive, hostile and treating the child like a thing to be moved around. Not good.

user1471446905 Tue 06-Sep-16 17:28:50

I'm with Olennas, this sounds like a gentle redirection and that is how the child reacted to it, It's certainly not best practice to put your hands on a childs head, shoulders would be a better choice. But all this yelling of assault and grabbing sounds absurd.

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