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AIBU?

To ask you to give me a kick up the arse to get shit tip house sorted?

25 replies

Creativemode · 06/09/2016 11:43

Situation is there's 4 of us, me, dh and 2 kids crammed into a 2 bed with not much storage.

We're all quite messy and there's a toddler constantly round my ankles getting into everything.

I've been off work over the Summer and have blitzed the house a few times but within a few days it's back to square one.

Dh and the kids leave piles of crap lying around but I don't even want to get into that now because right now I just need to sort this house out.

Situation is there's piles of plates and cups everywhere in the kitchen, sides all need wiping, floors mopping, other random crap that needs sorting.

Toys everywhere in lounge and needs hoovering and dusting.

Bathrooms needs a good scrub.

3-4 loads of washing and no tumble dryer plus bedding needs washing.

Kids room toys everywhere and needs hoovering and dusting.

Grass needs cutting.
Windows need washing.

Worse still is all the cupboards need sorting out like the kids drawers are overflowing.

Toddler won't be put down to watch tv and follows me around pulling at my legs.

Wtf do I start? Please help, I know I need to get on with it but I fee like crying under the duvet instead.

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Boredomismyenemy · 06/09/2016 11:49

One room at a time. One area of a room, sort it, move on. Get toddler to help, present it as a game.
Prioritise. Kitchen, bathrooms being sanitary is important. Windows, grass less so.
Before you start put the first load of washing on.
Good luck!

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GemmaRalph · 06/09/2016 11:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StealthPolarBear · 06/09/2016 11:51

CaN you put a wash on, dump all crockery in sink or dishwasher (allowing you to clean the sides) and then clean the bathroom? Do that then report back.

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Piercingqueen · 06/09/2016 11:55

I feel you! I've got myself, dh, 20 yr old, 18 yr old and 1yr old all in 3 bed flat. I feel like I tidy loads but it never stays that way for more than a day 😞 They all just leave crap all over the place. I don't even enter the older ones rooms. Feel
Like i need a whole day to sort it out but would rather spend time outside with the toddler. Seems a waste when no one else bothers no matter how much I moan 😞

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80sWaistcoat · 06/09/2016 11:55

Everybody old enough gets given 2 bin bags. One to fill with rubbish - one to fill with stuff for charity shop. Set a timer - half an hour.

Also - you live in a small space with a lot of people and all their stuff - you may have to accept its never going to be show home tidy.

My SIL's house is show room tidy - but they have next to no possessions. One plate, glass, cup and set of cutlery each and spares enough for 2 visitors. I like a bit of clutter myself!

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Piercingqueen · 06/09/2016 11:56

Going to make a start just now though!

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80sWaistcoat · 06/09/2016 11:57

If you can stretch to a service wash as well for the laundry, just as a one off to get it out from under you - that could help a lot.

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Creativemode · 06/09/2016 11:58

The toddler is a little young to help (15 months).

Honestly dh does bath the youngest but not much else but by the time we've eaten and put the two kids to bed & dh has had his shower it seems to be 8pm and we are both tired. We are probably a lazy messy family but I'm trying to change, I do clean but it soon builds up.

Right I'll start on the kitchen and put that load of washing on & play some music. Might have to do the bathroom when the toddler naps.

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Boredomismyenemy · 06/09/2016 12:01

I do the bathroom when I bath my youngest, she plays in bath I clean rest of the room. Get her out of bath, spray bath and leave it to work whilst I help her get dried and dressed. Then nip back to give bath quick wipe and rinse. That way it's always reasonably clean in there. As your DH to do this when he's doing bath time.

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shovetheholly · 06/09/2016 12:05

First thing - put a load of washing on, as you need the time for it to dry.

Second thing - read this www.flylady.net/d/getting-started/

Third thing - do your sink. This is a fly lady tip, and it's a good un. Cleaning the sink is a quick, easy job but it gives a sense of accomplishment. It also creates some space for you to then wash and dry up the pots.

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redskytonight · 06/09/2016 12:07

Toddler will be able to do things like "put all your toys in this box". Even if it's just to keep them busy rather than actually being useful. Can also help with dusting (even if you have to redo it). Can clean the bathroom whilst toddler is having a bath ...

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ChipmunkSundays · 06/09/2016 12:15

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Creativemode · 06/09/2016 12:55

Thanks everyone.

I have made a start, toddler in bed now so will have some lunch and carry on.

Part of the problem with dh is we are renting while we look for our permanent home, he has no love for the house and just doesn't care about it.

He does surface tidy up putting toys away and clothes but doesn't care about cleaning the bathroom or clean windows and doesn't even notice when they're done. He's never ever change bedding unless it was visibly covered in stains.

Other thing is his 'tidying' often makes more work for me, like not loading the dishwasher properly so things don't clean

We're just not on the same level at all in terms of how clean and tidy we want to live Sad

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Gottagetmoving · 06/09/2016 13:00

Make everyone follow a routine of tidying up after themselves and not allowing stuff to build up.
Wash up immediately after a meal and clean up kitchen.
Start one room at a time but after done follow a routine of a daily hoover and dust.
Don't expect a perfect home.

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ChipmunkSundays · 06/09/2016 13:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Artandco · 06/09/2016 13:29

You definatley need everyone to help

Dh can wipe bathroom over whilst watching kids in bath for example.

If they go to bed at 8pm. Maybe every night you both spend 8-8.15pm cleaning or tidying. That can just be one of you cleaning kitchen, one folding laundry or whatever.

Even 15 month old should leant to help. Each day before nap and before bed get them to help you pop toys away. And their cup next to sink.

Less is more. If you have 3-4 loads of laundry to do and still have clothes to wear, maybe you have too many? Filter out what you don't actually wear, and buy kids less clothes as you buy next sizes.

Same with kitchen and toys. If toys have to be cramped in, maybe too many. Donate stuff to charity, use things like library for books so you don't get hundreds and hundreds.

Kitchen clear out what you don't use. Ie how many mugs do you have? Presumably you only need 4 between your household, prob 2 atm if children don't use. How many people max visit? Maybe 4 max at a time? So 8 cups maximum. Any extra ditch.

And yes let 1 year old help. They can have a small bowl of warm water on kitchen floor and cloth to 'help' clean lifted cupboards or give them a pile of clean spoons to wash. Passes time, keeps them occupied, and frees you up 20 mins to do whatever you want

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RB68 · 06/09/2016 13:41

I don't have a dryer at the moment either and my best tip is that you should check the weather for tomorrow every evening and put a wash load on if weather looks reasonable. Get the washing out to dry asap and if it looks a good day in the am and you might squeeze a second load in if its a really good one.

I like the Fly Lady's clear sink policy - makes me feel better to know thats clear every night.

I clean sinks baths and showers when in or just got out of them

I struggle with hoovering as back is bad for hoiking hoover up and down as well as washing etc so am planning a second hoover and a dryer for winter

Would it be possible to get a second hand dryer for winter??? To keep costs down you could put washing out to dry as much as poss then finish in tumbler

And yes - need to assign particular things to DH. Maybe run round with a hoover after tea or something

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celeste83 · 06/09/2016 13:52

He needs to start helping out, even if its just helping tidy the flat at the end fo the day. Two of the things i make sure each day is done is that the living room is clear of toys, shoes, newspapers, clothes, clutter basically, and that the kitchen sink and draining board is clear with all plates, cutlery put away. Its good to start the next day with a tidy living room and kitchen. Those two things don't take long to do.

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FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 06/09/2016 13:55

I've tasked DH to dump a bin bag a week from our shit tip. He's a SAHD and all kids are in school as of tomorrow. I'm fucking sick of having to dodge the detritus and spend an hour tidying before I can clean.

He's a right lazy twat sometimes. He gets a pass because it's the holidays but by Christmas I want the house empty.

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FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 06/09/2016 13:56

Practically empty!

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KC225 · 06/09/2016 18:45

Get a pulleymaid for drying the clothes. They hang from the ceiling, so take up no floor space and can be winched in and down.

If watching the TV get up a do something in the ad breaks. You will be surprised how much you can do.

Agree with the others about breaking it down. Doing one room at a time so it is not so daunting

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Highlandfling80 · 06/09/2016 19:03

Watching with interest. 5 of us here and I am struggling. Returned from holiday with 2 cases of laundry. Dh doesn't do much. Kids 13 11 and 3 need to step up too.

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Highlandfling80 · 06/09/2016 19:03

I am a Sah.

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mypropertea · 06/09/2016 19:06

Can you put a dryer in a shed? Will really help you out in winter.

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puglife15 · 06/09/2016 19:24

Can you afford £30? If yes I'd get someone in to do windows, and a one-off two hour clean for your bathroom and kitchen to get a head start.

I'm rubbish at cleaning too but like to make sure I've got really good sponges and washing up gloves. Bloody hate washing up otherwise. Ditto a decent duster and vacuum cleaner. Our cordless Dyson gets used every day - before we had it we could go months weeks without vacuuming.

Agree with chucking toddler in bath with some toys and an inch of water, or set them up on a step by the sink as you clean kitchen... Or get your dh to take them out for the day.

Are there any half hour TV shows you watch regularly? Or a new series On Demand?

If you have a laptop or tablet, watch them on iPlayer etc while you sort cupboards / clean surfaces / hang out laundry. Don't try to do more than small chunks eg 25 mins a night.

For sorting drawers, I empty drawer onto the bed, then pull out only the items I LOVE and chuck the rest into a bag. You have to be ruthless to reduce the amount of stuff.

Toddlers actually focus less and play less well when they have too many toys. Put all but favorites into a bag and if they aren't missed within a fortnight take them to a charity shop.

I recently kondoed my son's drawers and it's been surpassingly easily to maintain, and makes it a lot easier to get dressed. Just need to do mine now!

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