To ask you to give me a kick up the arse to get shit tip house sorted?(26 Posts)
Situation is there's 4 of us, me, dh and 2 kids crammed into a 2 bed with not much storage.
We're all quite messy and there's a toddler constantly round my ankles getting into everything.
I've been off work over the Summer and have blitzed the house a few times but within a few days it's back to square one.
Dh and the kids leave piles of crap lying around but I don't even want to get into that now because right now I just need to sort this house out.
Situation is there's piles of plates and cups everywhere in the kitchen, sides all need wiping, floors mopping, other random crap that needs sorting.
Toys everywhere in lounge and needs hoovering and dusting.
Bathrooms needs a good scrub.
3-4 loads of washing and no tumble dryer plus bedding needs washing.
Kids room toys everywhere and needs hoovering and dusting.
Grass needs cutting.
Windows need washing.
Worse still is all the cupboards need sorting out like the kids drawers are overflowing.
Toddler won't be put down to watch tv and follows me around pulling at my legs.
Wtf do I start? Please help, I know I need to get on with it but I fee like crying under the duvet instead.
One room at a time. One area of a room, sort it, move on. Get toddler to help, present it as a game.
Prioritise. Kitchen, bathrooms being sanitary is important. Windows, grass less so.
Before you start put the first load of washing on.
Write a list of everything and break it into more manageable chunks. A little at a time.
Turn the music on and crack on.
Doesn't really solve the issue of it getting messy though as by the sounds of it you have a lot on your plate. Why can't your husband help you a little each evening so you stay on top of it?
CaN you put a wash on, dump all crockery in sink or dishwasher (allowing you to clean the sides) and then clean the bathroom? Do that then report back.
I feel you! I've got myself, dh, 20 yr old, 18 yr old and 1yr old all in 3 bed flat. I feel like I tidy loads but it never stays that way for more than a day 😞 They all just leave crap all over the place. I don't even enter the older ones rooms. Feel
Like i need a whole day to sort it out but would rather spend time outside with the toddler. Seems a waste when no one else bothers no matter how much I moan 😞
Everybody old enough gets given 2 bin bags. One to fill with rubbish - one to fill with stuff for charity shop. Set a timer - half an hour.
Also - you live in a small space with a lot of people and all their stuff - you may have to accept its never going to be show home tidy.
My SIL's house is show room tidy - but they have next to no possessions. One plate, glass, cup and set of cutlery each and spares enough for 2 visitors. I like a bit of clutter myself!
If you can stretch to a service wash as well for the laundry, just as a one off to get it out from under you - that could help a lot.
The toddler is a little young to help (15 months).
Honestly dh does bath the youngest but not much else but by the time we've eaten and put the two kids to bed & dh has had his shower it seems to be 8pm and we are both tired. We are probably a lazy messy family but I'm trying to change, I do clean but it soon builds up.
Right I'll start on the kitchen and put that load of washing on & play some music. Might have to do the bathroom when the toddler naps.
I do the bathroom when I bath my youngest, she plays in bath I clean rest of the room. Get her out of bath, spray bath and leave it to work whilst I help her get dried and dressed. Then nip back to give bath quick wipe and rinse. That way it's always reasonably clean in there. As your DH to do this when he's doing bath time.
First thing - put a load of washing on, as you need the time for it to dry.
Second thing - read this www.flylady.net/d/getting-started/
Third thing - do your sink. This is a fly lady tip, and it's a good un. Cleaning the sink is a quick, easy job but it gives a sense of accomplishment. It also creates some space for you to then wash and dry up the pots.
Toddler will be able to do things like "put all your toys in this box". Even if it's just to keep them busy rather than actually being useful. Can also help with dusting (even if you have to redo it). Can clean the bathroom whilst toddler is having a bath ...
In the longer term you need a chat with DH about how you will manage the house between you. In the short term, you need an action plan to feel better. Something like:
1. Sort and put on a load of laundry (try to include the most urgent things, e.g. pants and socks if running low) so it washes as you get on with other things
2. Make beds (is quick and instantly rooms look better and less seedy).
2. Wash dishes (instant lessening of grubby feeling, plus clears more space)
3. Wipe down kitchen surfaces, now free of dirty dishes. Voila, nice kitchen again.
3. Empty bins and recycling (reduces smells, again instant pick-me-up)
4. Tidy up toys and random stuff. If storage is really dire, put toys into a big box or similar for now. Get toddler to help - set a stopwatch and race to see who can get more into the box.
5. Have lunch, wash lunch dishes, play with toddler outside, relax.
6. Hang out first load of laundry and put on another.
6. Dust and vacuum floors that are now free of clutter.
7. Cup of tea, play with toddler.
8. Put bleach down loo, quick energetic scrub of basin and bath/shower.
9. Hang out second load of laundry. Fold and put away first load.
If you can manage all that in one day you will be doing really well. Don´t worry if it´s all a bit rough and ready: the goal is to improve basic hygiene and feel better.
At the weekend or whenever you have free time, ask DH to wash windows, change beds and cut grass while you spend time with the kids. Then get him to spend time with kids while you begin decluttering. (Start with your own stuff, and the kids´.) The biggest obstacle to a nice house is too much stuff so that cleaning is impossible as every surface covered in crap, and tidying is a nightmare as nothing has a home and no space to create one. Google MN favourite Marie Kondo to help you get started. Expect it to take 6 months, but you will have a lovely house at the end of it.
I have made a start, toddler in bed now so will have some lunch and carry on.
Part of the problem with dh is we are renting while we look for our permanent home, he has no love for the house and just doesn't care about it.
He does surface tidy up putting toys away and clothes but doesn't care about cleaning the bathroom or clean windows and doesn't even notice when they're done. He's never ever change bedding unless it was visibly covered in stains.
Other thing is his 'tidying' often makes more work for me, like not loading the dishwasher properly so things don't clean
We're just not on the same level at all in terms of how clean and tidy we want to live
Make everyone follow a routine of tidying up after themselves and not allowing stuff to build up.
Wash up immediately after a meal and clean up kitchen.
Start one room at a time but after done follow a routine of a daily hoover and dust.
Don't expect a perfect home.
Can he take responsibility for some of the things where he does care, and will notice himself if they aren´t done (e.g. tidying, vacuuming, laundry) while you take charge of the things where he doesn´t see the point or just has much lower standards than you (e.g. cleaning bathrooms, cleaning windows, changing bedding?) This works for us.
My DH actually had to teach me how to stack a dishwasher (I know...) as he was better at it whereas I would end up like your DH, with things still dirty at the end of the cycle. Can you show your DH where he´s going wrong?
You definatley need everyone to help
Dh can wipe bathroom over whilst watching kids in bath for example.
If they go to bed at 8pm. Maybe every night you both spend 8-8.15pm cleaning or tidying. That can just be one of you cleaning kitchen, one folding laundry or whatever.
Even 15 month old should leant to help. Each day before nap and before bed get them to help you pop toys away. And their cup next to sink.
Less is more. If you have 3-4 loads of laundry to do and still have clothes to wear, maybe you have too many? Filter out what you don't actually wear, and buy kids less clothes as you buy next sizes.
Same with kitchen and toys. If toys have to be cramped in, maybe too many. Donate stuff to charity, use things like library for books so you don't get hundreds and hundreds.
Kitchen clear out what you don't use. Ie how many mugs do you have? Presumably you only need 4 between your household, prob 2 atm if children don't use. How many people max visit? Maybe 4 max at a time? So 8 cups maximum. Any extra ditch.
And yes let 1 year old help. They can have a small bowl of warm water on kitchen floor and cloth to 'help' clean lifted cupboards or give them a pile of clean spoons to wash. Passes time, keeps them occupied, and frees you up 20 mins to do whatever you want
I don't have a dryer at the moment either and my best tip is that you should check the weather for tomorrow every evening and put a wash load on if weather looks reasonable. Get the washing out to dry asap and if it looks a good day in the am and you might squeeze a second load in if its a really good one.
I like the Fly Lady's clear sink policy - makes me feel better to know thats clear every night.
I clean sinks baths and showers when in or just got out of them
I struggle with hoovering as back is bad for hoiking hoover up and down as well as washing etc so am planning a second hoover and a dryer for winter
Would it be possible to get a second hand dryer for winter??? To keep costs down you could put washing out to dry as much as poss then finish in tumbler
And yes - need to assign particular things to DH. Maybe run round with a hoover after tea or something
He needs to start helping out, even if its just helping tidy the flat at the end fo the day. Two of the things i make sure each day is done is that the living room is clear of toys, shoes, newspapers, clothes, clutter basically, and that the kitchen sink and draining board is clear with all plates, cutlery put away. Its good to start the next day with a tidy living room and kitchen. Those two things don't take long to do.
I've tasked DH to dump a bin bag a week from our shit tip. He's a SAHD and all kids are in school as of tomorrow. I'm fucking sick of having to dodge the detritus and spend an hour tidying before I can clean.
He's a right lazy twat sometimes. He gets a pass because it's the holidays but by Christmas I want the house empty.
Get a pulleymaid for drying the clothes. They hang from the ceiling, so take up no floor space and can be winched in and down.
If watching the TV get up a do something in the ad breaks. You will be surprised how much you can do.
Agree with the others about breaking it down. Doing one room at a time so it is not so daunting
Watching with interest. 5 of us here and I am struggling. Returned from holiday with 2 cases of laundry. Dh doesn't do much. Kids 13 11 and 3 need to step up too.
Can you put a dryer in a shed? Will really help you out in winter.
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