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to be a bit cross with my husband?

(18 Posts)
cmwife Tue 06-Sep-16 09:26:37

I am in bed recovering from the flu (the actual flu, with a 2 day fever, not just a bad cold). Husband has his own car key, I also have a copy of the car key. He cannot find his key, so he wakes me up to ask where is mine. I tell him it is in my work briefcase. He gets said briefcase and without looking in it dumps it on me (who is lying on the bed), without a word. I say "Can you please look for the key, I am sick", in a somewhat exasperated voice but fairly politely in the circumstances. He just says "I can never find anything in your bag" and stands there waiting for me to sit up and look. JUST EFFING LOOK! It's not the fucking Tardis. It's a standard, reasonably tidy, briefcase. Jeeeeeez. Then he sulks like I'm being unreasonable for asking him (politely) to look for himself. Happens all the time, and I'd usually just look for him but I'm particularly pissed off with him today because I'm still sick.

Fucking manchild.

AIBU? Now that I've typed this out I think maybe IABU. I am in the Antipodes so it's evening here if that makes a difference.

MaisieDotes Tue 06-Sep-16 09:30:59

I just pretend not to know where things are either.

Having to be The Keeper of All Things really annoys me.

MyBreadIsEggy Tue 06-Sep-16 09:33:40

YANBU - you're sick.
I have noticed this since being married and having DC....I'm not allowed to be ill. The house (ie. DH) doesn't function when I'm ill. A few months back I had a really disgusting sickness and diarrhoea thing, and I still had to get out of bed that morning to get Dd some clothes out that fit her and look like an actual outfit, and wrote down what Dd would usually have for lunch/snacks, and at what times to stop DH keep c

MyBreadIsEggy Tue 06-Sep-16 09:34:39

Dd pressed post hmm

....keep coming upstairs to ask me stupid questions like "what should I put in dd's sandwich" hmm

DoinItFine Tue 06-Sep-16 09:35:11


I wouldn't let my 6 year old treat me like that.

He's not even a well behaved man-child.

HermioneJeanGranger Tue 06-Sep-16 09:40:28

It's funny how all these men seem to function perfectly well at work hmm

MyBreadIsEggy why didn't you just stay in bed? I'm sure he would have managed in your absence. What would he do if you were away or in hospital?

JenLindleyShitMom Tue 06-Sep-16 09:42:33


I hope you didn't cave and look for it? I'd have just turned over in bed and started snoring.

TroubleinDaFamily Tue 06-Sep-16 09:53:03

I have waited months for DH to hang a picture on the landing, on Saturday afternoon I fell asleep whilst mooching on the tablet, so I got into bed properly.

I swear to God there is some sort of invisible bat call when I get an hour to myself, shockhe was up in thirty minutes saying when you have a minute we need to discuss where you want the picture. (Turns out it was half time at the rugby)

I rolled over patted him on the arm and said I love you, yo are funny and promptly went back to sleep for an other hour. grin

MyBreadIsEggy Tue 06-Sep-16 10:22:07

Hermione it was less annoying to just get up and get her clothes out for him, than keep having him come in the bedroom asking "does this fit her?", "can she wear this tshirt with these trousers?".....he is colourblind, so I am glad he asks before just chucking anything on her and taking her out looking like a circus clown, but not when I'm sick!!

MyBreadIsEggy Tue 06-Sep-16 10:24:38

Should add, Not genuinely diagnosed as colourblind....just blind to what colours a normal human being would put together hmm

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 Tue 06-Sep-16 10:28:22

Unless your name is Mary Poppins and he was like to come across a lamp, a kite, or a merry - go - round he is just a lazy twat who is slightly envious you are lazing in bed while he has to go to work!! I hope you aren't making tea tonight!

BarryTheKestrel Tue 06-Sep-16 10:33:59

DH does this all the time. However I usually don't have a clue where it is as wherever I put it, he has passive aggressively tidied it away elsewhere. Like the post pile on the bookshelf, if it's not there he has usually moved it to the paperwork drawer but it's always 'well I left it on the bookshelf' and my response is always 'haven't touched it, haven't seen it, maybe try the drawer'. He then finds it and swears blind I must have put it there. Useless.

cmwife Tue 06-Sep-16 14:32:27

Sorry for not responding, fell asleep. No, I didn't cave and look for it (hence the sulking). Must be a serious sulk too - it's after 11 pm here and he's clearly decided to sleep on the sofa. Not that I'm going to go and check on him. I hope he's cold and miserable grin.

Glad no one thinks I'm being unreasonable so far.

I wouldn't let my 8 year old treat me like this either - but then she wouldn't because she doesn't suffer from this learned incompetence.

I have been trying for a while now to make it his problem when he behaves like this e.g. if I get the 20 questions approach described above I keep saying "I'm not sure, I'll leave that with you.". The sulking just annoys me though. What is he, four years old?

cmwife Tue 06-Sep-16 14:40:21

Haha mybear I always wonder exactly what he thinks is in my bag/briefcase. I never store anything exotic in there. I even make sure I put tampons in a side pocket so he cannot be embarrassed by them.

I just looked in the briefcase (which he dug through for all of 3 seconds before stomping out) and the keys are RIGHT THERE ON THE TOP.


I feel much better for posting.

oldlaundbooth Tue 06-Sep-16 15:11:08

DH asks me stupid stuff too. Oh, where's that shirt of mine?

WHY would I know??? hmm

petalsandstars Tue 06-Sep-16 15:24:30

Mine tried the helpless tactic with DC, I used a phrase I'd seen on here "I don't know, ask her parent" a few times and it soon stopped.

CafeCremeEtCroissant Tue 06-Sep-16 15:48:24

The RAGE doesn't even begin to cover the feeling I get when people are like that. If they're under 15 they get sarcasm, over 15 they get 'the look' 😩😡😱

YANBU he was being massively unreasonable. Him losing his key is not your fault not your problem. He should have just looked for his own bloody key without disturbing you!

Hope you feel better soon 💐

justilou Tue 06-Sep-16 23:42:13

Do not EVER engage in the "Have you seen....?" game with men. Guaranteed to make both parties stabby.

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