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MIL Daily visit

(51 Posts)
Pissedoffrightly Mon 05-Sep-16 20:21:56

I have just finish a 12 hour shift and came home to the MIL sat on the couch...thats every night for the past 2 weeks shes been round.
Dp feels sorry for her coz shes lonely but im just getting pissed off now. She expects to be waited on hand and foot. She cant even take her cup out when its empty...
Its causing tension now coz im not hiding my feelings about her being here but Dp thinks im being nasty...aibu to want to come home and relax not be MIL bloody carer

Spiderpigspiderpig Mon 05-Sep-16 20:25:22

I'd bloody hate anyone (except dh/dc) in the house when I come in from work. I'm shattered, don't want to talk and just get on with stuff that needs doing.

ImperialBlether Mon 05-Sep-16 20:26:19

I would really hate that. Why can't you tell her in a very sharp voice to take her things into the kitchen? And why can't she go home before you get home?

winewolfhowls Mon 05-Sep-16 20:29:04

Keep suggesting your dh get her brews, cook her favourite tea, etc. He will soon get sick of it and deter her from coming!

Arfarfanarf Mon 05-Sep-16 20:30:53

Let your partner wait on her if they are so minded.

Meanwhile, you go for a bath and relax.

Is your partner home when she is here or are they just expecting you to play host?

Pissedoffrightly Mon 05-Sep-16 20:31:31

She waits for me so she can have some of our tea. I do tell her to take her cup out but Dp tells me sometimes i can be horrible to tired and last thing i want is to run round after her and Dp while she sits in the back getting a bit of fresh air

Arfarfanarf Mon 05-Sep-16 20:33:42

well don't run after her and your partner. Why are you running round after your partner.

I mean, it's partner not boss, right?

Tell them to sod off you don't provide maid service.

They are being very unreasonable and selfish.

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 Mon 05-Sep-16 20:34:00

Make some plans for after work. Maybe when dh is stuck with her every night on his own he will do something about her!! Or get him to meet you for tea after work!!

ifipop Mon 05-Sep-16 20:36:36

Every night start coming in say a quick hello then go upstairs and run yourself a hot bath and stay in it relaxing for ages. They will soon get the hint. If they want to eat they will have to make it themselves.

mrsfuzzy Mon 05-Sep-16 20:37:35

sorry, but it's my night off, in from work and having a long bath / washing my socks / watching a crap movie upstairs.
if he likes his mums company so much may be he should visit her from time to time, don't pander to him or her. she might be lonely but that is not your problem to play hostess every night, what happened two weeks ago to start this lark ?

Sierra259 Mon 05-Sep-16 20:42:11

Agree with pp. Quick, pleasant hello then up to a nice relaxing bath, preferably with a takeaway for one you've picked up on the way home.......

Rainbunny Mon 05-Sep-16 20:43:57

So let me get this right, you come home exhausted after a 12 hours shift to find your MIL and your DP already cosy and relaxing and you are meant to bring her cups of tea? Your DP isn't jumping up to offer you a cup of tea when you step through the door? Screw that! It sounds like she's moved in practically. I'd start running a hot bath and enjoy a glass of wine and a book every time I came home to find her there. And I'd be having some words with my DP about his laziness and your right to some privacy in your own home.

Pissedoffrightly Mon 05-Sep-16 20:44:24

Thanks for all your replies...i know its my Dps fault as she phones him and asks to come round and he says yes...SIL has started taking nephews to football and so isnt in when MIL phones to go round there...apparently i dont work as hard as Dp or SIL so i should make it up by running round after her

Pissedoffrightly Mon 05-Sep-16 20:46:12

Bath is running as i speak...lots of bubbles. I have left the dishes in the sink so unless one of them do them...they will still be there 2moro

Euphemia Mon 05-Sep-16 20:47:16

i dont work as hard as Dp or SIL so i should make it up by running round after her

Says who?

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig Mon 05-Sep-16 20:47:47

If he's home before you why the hell hasn't he got the dinner on? Bollocks to that, especially after 12 hours! Put him straight, in front of her, and leave them to it.

StopMakingMeLogOn Mon 05-Sep-16 20:47:52

I wouldn't do any of the waiting it out stuff and hoping they'll take the hint. I would have a very honest discussion with my dp about personal space and my need for it (in the early days of my relationship with dh, I had to have this conversation too). It doesn't need to be nasty or anti mil but you do need to have it if you want to preserve any kind of relationship with either of them going forward.

You have chosen to live with him, not her amd if he isn't willing to respect that it is your home too and you are entitled to come home and not have visitore every night then you might want to reconsider living with him.

Arfarfanarf Mon 05-Sep-16 20:48:24

a 12 hour day isn't long enough?

and erm, who tells you that you don't work as hard so you 'make it up' by running round after her?

Because fuck you is a good reply to that.

make it up. hmm because you owe someone a very long hard working day and if you fail you must atone?

Is your mum available? If so do you get on well enough with her to ask her to come round every single day?

I would.

I wonder why sil has started taking the kids out...

Pissedoffrightly Mon 05-Sep-16 20:50:14

She told me i dont work as hard as they do one day when she was being her usual pleasant self...i work 30 plus hours a week, and go to college...

redisthenewblack Mon 05-Sep-16 20:50:51

Can you suddenly come down with a communicable disease that would be just awful if she caught?

clam Mon 05-Sep-16 20:51:19

You know that old MN phrase: you don't just have a mil problem, you have a dh problem.

Secretmetalfan Mon 05-Sep-16 20:52:00

I'd be telling your DH to go visit his mother

Pissedoffrightly Mon 05-Sep-16 20:52:02

I dont speak to my mum , we had a fall out over 3years ago but i could always ask my nan to come and camp 😀...

Arfarfanarf Mon 05-Sep-16 20:52:07

just don't play.

she's an arse and it sounds like he's one too.

You do not have to do anything you do not want to do. If they don't like it - tough.

Arfarfanarf Mon 05-Sep-16 20:53:07

yeah, get your nan over if she's willing to help you make a point grin

She's lonely and she wants to sit in your house daily and will do so for as long as your mil does...

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