This could be long as don't want to dripfeed, I really want to know if I'm being BU and if I am will get back in my box.
I have 4DC with stbxh and 1DC with DP. DC see stbxh every weekend for a few hours (never has them overnight).
He has never contributed to mortgage , debts etc. I paid them when we split and DP and I now share all outgoings of household. I'm lucky to see £50 p/w towards DC and have never had regular payments despite CMS involvement.
Eldest DS recently celebrated his birthday and months ago asked if his dad would take him to an event for his birthday. I offered to cover some of cost as DS didn't want a party, stbxh said he'd do it as his present. Typically the tickets to said event never appeared and I was left to hurriedly organise something for DS to do with a few friends, (on top of separate present we'd got) as not to drip feed DS has Aspergers, hence him asking and planning months in advance and the huge disappointment when he got told a few days before that dad hadn't booked it.
Fast forward a bit and it is DD1 birthday, I took her to the treat and shopping for the present she asked for from DP and I, but am also sorting out her birthday tea (not huge but family tradtion) again no contribution but he'll still come and stuff his face as "I've already given you maintenence and uniform contribution" DP and I covered bulk of uniform and school bits
So are DP and I being unreasonable/ unrealistic in expecting stbxh to cough up a bit extra towards birthday parties, hobbies, school trips etc or is that the way it is?
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AIBU?
AIBU to expect stbxh to contribute to DC birthday treats/party?
21 replies
SeymourButtz · 05/09/2016 13:42
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