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I know I am unreasonable (Wedding related)

(314 Posts)
HairsprayBabe Mon 05-Sep-16 08:35:32

DP's best mate is getting married next year and we have just been filled in on all the details. I am so horrified by what they have planned I don't want to go but I know it is their day and I am being VVU but I really need to vent about this as it is so ridiculous I am not sure how any one could take seriously as a "real" wedding.

For the record they are not well off and I wasn't expecting the Ritz more like, registery office, social club, buffet and disco or similar.

What they have planned is the following;
A registry office ceremony - full tails for the gents, hats etc for the women are expected by the bride for photos.
A 2hr slot in a pan-asian buffet style restaurant - speeches are banned.
A club night out on the local strip.

For the amount they are paying for the restaurant - buying meals for all guests - they could have had a private room in a social club with a buffet and a disco! I am upset for DP as it is his first time as best man and he has been banned from making any speeches.

I don't understand how this will feel any different from any other Friday night for this couple, there is low key but this is silly! Why go for the big princess dress just to take it to the local Chinese!

Any way I know it is unreasonable but this wedding will be VV weird... can anyone suggest an outfit I can wear to this monstrosity... Must have a hat.

namechangedtoday15 Mon 05-Sep-16 08:40:07

Honestly, you sound awful. It's their day and I completely agree with avoiding a buffet in a social club. I'd hate that too.

They are doing what they want. They're paying for your meal. Stop being so ungrateful. If your DP is being best man he obviously has a close relationship with this couple and you're likely to see lots of them. Get over yourself and start being a friend and a supportive partner.

IceRoadDucker Mon 05-Sep-16 08:43:03

Wow. I hope your partner is less of a snobbish prat than you to his 'best mate'.

Do them a favour and make your excuses. I doubt they'll want you there with your cat's bum face.

FeckinCrutches Mon 05-Sep-16 08:43:11

You sound like a crashing snob. I'm sure they are very happy with their choices.
Why are you even bothering to go to this 'monstrosity?'
If it's you DP's best mate surely you move in the same social circles?

Shinyshoes2 Mon 05-Sep-16 08:43:58

Is this for real ? You sound awful describing their wedding day like that . It's almost like you're embarrassed
Be a friend , be supportive , do not mention anything about your feelings regarding their wedding
It's THEIR day . Stop pissing on their chips and give her all the help she needs

Vixxfacee Mon 05-Sep-16 08:44:26

Yabu and sound like a dick.

BingBongBingBong Mon 05-Sep-16 08:45:43

It sounds great. You sound like a massive snob.

FeckinCrutches Mon 05-Sep-16 08:46:04

I also think it's hilarious you're putting a sweaty buffet in the local workmans club above a meal in a pan-asian restaurant.

Lules Mon 05-Sep-16 08:46:32

It's a real wedding because they're actually getting married. People are allowed to choose what kind of thing they want for their own wedding, even if it's not to your taste.

MaudGonneMad Mon 05-Sep-16 08:46:50

Disappointing. I was expecting something truly bridezilla-tastic.

george1020 Mon 05-Sep-16 08:46:55

Wow aren't you a delight!

The wedding doesn't sound To my taste but that doesn't mean it won't be great fun and everything they want! Just because it's not to your taste doesn't mean you are right and your ideal wedding would be any better than theirs.

As for you feeling disappointed for your DH, I'm sure he doesn't feel the same as you but if he does it would be better he resigned from best man and you both didn't bother going.

RunningLulu Mon 05-Sep-16 08:47:11

YABVU. Sounds like a great wedding.

Lj8893 Mon 05-Sep-16 08:47:24

From the beginning of your post I was expecting you to say there was some sort of crazy theme to the wedding. I think what they have planned sounds fine, not what I would choose myself but I don't get what's wrong with it really?

HairsprayBabe Mon 05-Sep-16 08:47:48

I don't care it will be awful. And don't call me a snob I just don't think a Chinese and a nightclub is appropriate for a wedding.

I am going because my DP asked me to go and I want to support him. We see the groom often, don't see the bride ever really. Such a shame...

GeorgeTheThird Mon 05-Sep-16 08:48:36

Just wear a dress you like and find a cheap hat that goes with it for the photos. And have a good time. Job done!

Lj8893 Mon 05-Sep-16 08:48:50

I would prefer a Chinese than a buffet in a social club.......

MothersGrim Mon 05-Sep-16 08:49:34

Fed up of all these weddings that have to take the place in XYZ format. If your idea of a nice time is a chinese and clubbing then why the hell shouldnt your wedding be the same.

As for no speeches, totally get over yourself.

I'd love to go it sounds like a refreshing change.

HairsprayBabe Mon 05-Sep-16 08:50:02

My main issue is that we will look like complete twats sat in a Chinese buffet wearing wedding dresses, tails and hats. It is not my idea of fun to have everyone staring at me for being so out of place.

DP also thinks the whole thing sounds like a joke.

SabineUndine Mon 05-Sep-16 08:50:12

I think you've invented a new concept: Guestzilla.

It's their wedding, not yours. Their rules.

IceRoadDucker Mon 05-Sep-16 08:50:14

You ARE a snob.

Please don't go. The bride and groom are more important than your partner, and they don't deserve to have someone as awful as you at their wedding.

Bambamrubblesmum Mon 05-Sep-16 08:50:23

Rather have the pan-Asian food than a sweaty sausage roll. Sounds like a lot more fun than your average wedding.

FiveGoMadInDorset Mon 05-Sep-16 08:50:46

Oh bliss, a wedding withouth speeches, and yes you are a snob, a wedding can be whatever the bride and groom want it to be.

IceRoadDucker Mon 05-Sep-16 08:51:02

P.S. You sound like Hyacinth Bucket.

And P.P.S nobody is going to be staring at YOU when there is a bride. Get a grip, you arrogant snob.

HeddaGarbled Mon 05-Sep-16 08:52:00

I would much much rather go to a buffet in a decent restaurant than in a social club. And no speeches is genius. Wedding speeches are an ordeal for those who have to give them and tedious for those who have to listen to them. Respect to this couple for having the courage and individuality to say, sod the conventions, let's just enjoy ourselves. Your H can propose a toast to the happy couple while you're at the restaurant. Perfect.

george1020 Mon 05-Sep-16 08:52:27

Yep your second post still makes you sound like a bitter bitch tbh!

Shame, with friends like you who needs enemies!

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