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AIBU?

To pull over?

214 replies

pestov · 04/09/2016 21:02

Just home from a pretty crap journey home from Granny's. I was driving with DH sitting in the back to keep DD 6 months company. We were delayed by over 90 mins by an accident on the motorway, stop start traffic. Baby not a happy camper and despite his best efforts with finger food, entertainment and the like, DH was happy to let her scream until we got to services after the accident for a breastfeed. Was I unreasonable to pull over into the hard shoulder to feed her there? He didn't think it was enough of an emergency. As an aside, her bum was filthy, but he couldn't smell it sitting next to her - I noticed as soon as I picked her up

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TheGoodEnoughWife · 04/09/2016 21:03

Should have waited for services. Hard shoulders are very dangerous places to be!

Stormyseasallround · 04/09/2016 21:04

Unreasonable and dangerous. Pulling into hard shoulder is for emergencies only and you should immediately get out of the vehicle and climb up onto the grass verge. Otherwise your car can be squished by a passing lorry with you inside it.

peaceloveandshitmoms · 04/09/2016 21:05

YABU because the hard shoulder is needed by emergency vehicles to get to accidents. Also, you should never sit in a stationary vehicle on the motorway. When your car breaks down you're told to move away from your car in case of accidents - if another car ploughed into you while you were in your stationary car, you'd die.
I do know how stressful it is with a screaming baby in the car, though.

Rumpelstiltskin143 · 04/09/2016 21:06

Definitely should have waited for the services. Way too dangerous to just pull over, especially if you're sitting in the car.

Wolfiefan · 04/09/2016 21:06

It's really stressful to be stuck in a car with a screaming baby. But it's not an emergency. If there's an accident ahead of you on the motorway then police, fire and ambulance services may need to use the hard shoulder to get to people who might need urgent help.
You wait.

Wheresthattomoibabber · 04/09/2016 21:06

Yes. You were completely unreasonable. Insanely dangerous thing to do.

NannyR · 04/09/2016 21:06

Really unreasonable, definitely should have waited till you got to the services.

PitchFork · 04/09/2016 21:06

yabu
what above posters said.
it's incredibly dangerous.
an unhappy baby is unpleasant but not an emergency.

Valmur · 04/09/2016 21:07

YABU.

A screaming baby is ultra stressful but the hard shoulder is for emergencies. This was not an emergency.

Crispbutty · 04/09/2016 21:07

Services are never too far apart now so of course you would be a reckless idiot to pull up on the hard shoulder.

e1y1 · 04/09/2016 21:08

Absolutely nothing worse than a car journey with a screaming child, you really have my sympathies.

However, YABU for pulling into the hard shoulder, they are for absolute emergencies only, and as mentioned by PP you are told to move away from the car, if you were hit, you would very most likely not survive.

ThinkPinkStink · 04/09/2016 21:08

Unreasonable, and unsafe.

It's horribly dangerous to stay in your car on the hard shoulder. I understand how frustrating it is to know that 'fixing' the situation would only take a couple of minutes - but you put yourself and your family at risk and it's really not worth it.

Sirzy · 04/09/2016 21:08

As everyone else has said you were wrong to stop in the hard shoulder.

PurpleDaisies · 04/09/2016 21:08

Agree with everyone else. You don't stop on the hard shoulder unless you're broken down/medically incapable of continuing driving. Hungry, dirty nappy baby is not an emergency.

We broke down on the m5 a few weeks ago. It was horrible and I don't know how anyone could voluntarily stop there with the traffic flying by so quickly. Did you sit in the car? It's really dangerous.

AnnaMarlowe · 04/09/2016 21:09

You stopped on the hard shoulder of a motorway to breastfeed and change your baby?

You could have killed your whole family.

You would have been given (at least) a terrible telling off if the police had seen you.

Don't do it ever again. You out your child's life in danger.

NerrSnerr · 04/09/2016 21:10

Yabu it's really dangerous. Also, what if emergency vehicles had to get through. Really, really irresponsible.

Twodogsandahooch · 04/09/2016 21:11

Yes you shouldn't have stopped. Really dangerous place to pull over. I was stuck with with DD1 yesterday on the M25 who was desperate for a wee. I gave her an old piece of clothing to wee on rather than risk a stop on the hard shoulder.

Do you not watch Motorway Cops?

Champagneformyrealfriends · 04/09/2016 21:11

YABU. Sorry, but yabvu. The hard shoulder is not there so you can dress a baby, and I say this as somebody with a 5 month old who likes to scream in the car.

MrsBungle · 04/09/2016 21:11

Very unreasonable. That is not an emergency situation. The hard shoulder is a dangerous place which is why you should get out and go up the verge - not sit in the car and breast feed.

AliTheMinx · 04/09/2016 21:12

I feel sorry for you, as driving with a screaming child is hugely stressful, but agree that it was very irresponsible and dangerous to stop on the hard shoulder, which is clearly for emergencies only.

MoveOnTheCards · 04/09/2016 21:13

I remember DS as a baby screaming for a couple of hours when we were in a jam on the M6 so I know it's bloody awful. I kept going until services though as I know hard shoulders are really dangerous places to stop and are for real emergencies only.

Next time grit your teeth and keep going.

Bubbinsmakesthree · 04/09/2016 21:13

You have my sympathies because it is awful being in a car with a screaming baby when you're powerless to help - there aren't really any other situations where you'd let your child cry like that, but when driving you have little choice. My worst memories from babyhood are in cars!

But it's very dangerous to stop on the hard shoulder, so YWBU. Wait to the nearest exit or services.

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FullTimeYummy · 04/09/2016 21:14

What a selfish and dangerous thing to do.

The worst of it is, your contempt for your husbands opinion on the matter. He was 100% right and you were 100% wrong, but how dare he challenge your authority when it comes to you and your baby.

Wheresthattomoibabber · 04/09/2016 21:15

I really hope you've apologised to your DH.

pestov · 04/09/2016 21:20

Wow OK, maybe I concede this one! In my defence, the emergency vehicles had passed over an hour before, 2 recovery vehicles had too by the time I pulled over. traffic was at walking pace the whole time, and we had no idea how much longer we were going to be delayed - both our phones were out of Internet range, and none of the local radio stations were doing any travel news on a Sunday evening. Services were about 10 miles away from accident! At least I put my hazards on unlike the guy in a BMW we later passed.

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