AIBU to expect DH might be in a fit state to help once he returns from a stag do?

(34 Posts)
WereJammin Sun 04-Sep-16 18:10:55

DH has been on a stag do this weekend but is now back. He said he came back early Coz he wanted to see me and LO, which is nice. However he's currently conked out and doing FA. I'm a tad miffed by this as I've done the childcare and chores this weekend while he's away and sort of hoped he might help me once he was back. Should I just be cool with the fact that it's a stag do so he's going to come back and be useless due to hangover?

MoreGilmoreGirls Sun 04-Sep-16 18:13:24

I'm afraid it's probably to be expected, mine did similar a few weeks ago. So long as it's not a regular occurance think you should cut him some slack this once. Though I think you are owed a night out or day off grin

PotteringAlong Sun 04-Sep-16 18:14:59

Yes. He was never going to come back anything other than hungover.

IzzyIsBusy Sun 04-Sep-16 18:15:59

YABU.

Haggisfish Sun 04-Sep-16 18:17:30

Yabu. Sorry!

Boredbeforeievenbegan Sun 04-Sep-16 18:23:57

YABU

Guavaf1sh Sun 04-Sep-16 18:24:59

Yabu

allthecarbs Sun 04-Sep-16 18:25:51

Sorry but yabu. I wouldn't expect to have to do much childcare at all if I was coming back from a hen do

SouthernComforts Sun 04-Sep-16 18:29:55

YABU. He's come home early because he can't physically drink anymore, he's hardly going to be spring cleaning the house!

I always try to book a day off work/organise childcare the day after a big party/hen do because I know I'll feel shocking and just need to sloth.

FeckinCrutches Sun 04-Sep-16 18:31:29

Yabu. My husband just sends me to bed and orders a takeaway when I've been away.

WereJammin Sun 04-Sep-16 18:35:26

Thanks all. Yes I have just let him get on with sleeping but was starting to feel miffed so this has helped. I think in the past that I've not been able to get rest even when ill so it's made me a bit bitter. Will make sure I get time off too but I always just get on and do stuff... Which is my own fault.

WereJammin Sun 04-Sep-16 18:35:43

Thanks all. Yes I have just let him get on with sleeping but was starting to feel miffed so this has helped. I think in the past that I've not been able to get rest even when ill so it's made me a bit bitter. Will make sure I get time off too but I always just get on and do stuff... Which is my own fault.

whothefuckhas5children Sun 04-Sep-16 19:05:57

In our house when you're home then you're home and you're expected to pull your weight. But when we had less children you could come home and crash if needed. those were the days

Wouldn't change it ow though.

whothefuckhas5children Sun 04-Sep-16 19:06:17

Now not ow

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 Sun 04-Sep-16 19:10:18

If it makes you feel better why not get the hoover (Dyson?) out and give the place a good going over!?

HelenaDove Sun 04-Sep-16 19:11:10

"I think in the past that I've not been able to get rest even when ill so it's made me a bit bitter"

So you dont get
rest when you have been ill when being ill isnt a choice but he gets to rest after a stag do when a stag do is a choice.

bakingaddict Sun 04-Sep-16 19:19:33

Why don't you get to rest if your ill is it because he won't let you or do you like to be a martyr. Genuine question if I'm ill I go to bed for a few hours and DH looks after the kids unless I'm just home with them then I lie on the sofa and put the TV on for them

Msqueen33 Sun 04-Sep-16 19:20:58

I took my three kids including two with disabilities away for two weeks so my dh has only had himself to look after and five days on his own with the weekend and bank holiday weekend. We came back Tuesday night and today he's moaning he's tired!

StMary Sun 04-Sep-16 19:23:57

Yanbu.

If either me or DH need "time off" we negotiate it so it's fair and suits all of us. If DH is out for a heavy night or away for a stag do we discuss what time he thinks he can be fully functional again and that's what he has to commit to. I do the same if I'm away/out.

MozzchopsThirty Sun 04-Sep-16 19:28:33

What a weird thread

I've done all the chores & childcare this weekend and no one is gonna come in and 'help' because I'm a lone parent

What have you done that's so tiring

God some people make such a big deal out of parenting

HelenaDove Sun 04-Sep-16 19:30:55

Mozzchops do you see it as "helping out" when fathers do it?

MozzchopsThirty Sun 04-Sep-16 19:32:49

When fathers do what?
He's been on a stag do, came home early and flaked out big deal

I wonder what's so tiring about a few chores and taking care of (??one) child

HermioneJeanGranger Sun 04-Sep-16 19:38:06

OP, do you keep going when you're ill through choice, or because your DH doesn't pull his weight?

RubbleBubble00 Sun 04-Sep-16 19:38:35

he probably couldnt hack the pace so 'came home to see you aka sleep it off'. Let poor bloke sleep

onecurrantbun1 Sun 04-Sep-16 19:39:30

I always tell DH to have a big lie in and come back when he's in a fit state to be climbed on / pitch in as usual. It hacks me off to have another adult there not pulling their weight but I know it's unreasonable to expect that so it's Best to have a clear boundary.

Mozz I am in awe of single parents, , but when their are 2 cohabiting partners things should be roughly 50/50, kids or no kids

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