I am utterly at the end of my tether today and would throw DD in the car and dump her at halls right now if I could.
Since her exams finished she hasn't been out of bed before 1pm (often as late as 4pm) except on the few days she wanted to do something and when she was more than happy to expect me to get up and take her to the airport at 5am and pick her up 10 days later at 11.30 pm when I had work as well.
The 10 days she was away were heaven. When she is at home there is food scattered around the house, the bathroom (used by her, DS and visitors) is disgusting (I clean it every day but she smears God only knows what all over the basin and counter tops), pots and pans are dumped with half eaten food, perishable food taken out of the fridge at midnight and left on the side to fester (with the fridge left open too). Shoes, socks, books, paper left scattered all over the house, clothes and underwear dumped in the bathroom. I was hoping to invite friends over for lunch during the holidays (lots of us work term time only) but I am ashamed of how messy the house is. It was spotless when she came back from her holiday but the day after she same home I came back from shopping and just cried...it looked like a bomb had gone off and there was lipstick smeared on the side of the stairs which I have scrubbed and scrubbed but it is still there just at eye level AND she smeared it there on purpose after her brother told her that I'd cleaned all the paintwork while she was away. Her half unpacked suitcase sat on the floor in the dining room for a week until I gave in and took it up to her room, whereupon she moaned about me not giving her time to sort it out.
I am having a party this afternoon so yesterday she went through her room and filled three black sacks of unwanted stuff which she dumped in the hallway. I put them in her room and said they had to stay there until after the party but after I went to bed last night she has dumped them all in back in the hallway. (She has a huge bedroom so no lack of space).
As far as she is concerned she is an adult now and I have no right to tell her what she can and can't do. If I'd spoken to my mother the way she speaks to me I'd have been in hospital!
However, as soon as DH comes home she turns on the charm and if I dare raise her behaviour with him she makes out like I'm crazy.
All I can think of is how utterly blissful it will be to not have her in the house in a couple of weeks time. Only problem is that she will be back for a month in December....
AIBU?
To be looking forward to DD leaving home for uni? (Sorry, long)
StillRabbit · 03/09/2016 10:45
Tell her not to bother coming back.
You haven't got a DD problem you've got a YOU problem.
Stop being nice and facilitating her shit and make your DH back you up.
She sounds horrid.
YANBU I'm 
at your daughter's behaviour- especially smearing the lipstick, that's downright vindictive.
Hopefully her moving away will be an eye opening experience for her, and it sounds like it'll give you some much needed space. Maybe think about giving her some boundaries in terms of when she can return home too, and get your DH to back up everything you say- e.g. not until Christmas so you get a nice long break.
University is a great separator, I know I quickly learnt to appreciate all the things my parents did for me at home, and had become much more self-reliant and mature by the end of term one (although I was no way near this level of pisstakery).
yes, she is an adult and you can't tell what she can/can't do but you can i do feel for you, this is awful. it's the family home and that behaviour isn't on - ever. my dd is scatterbrain with home security and chaotic with her stuff at home but there is no way i clear up after her in that respect. she knows her stuff would be in a bin bag on bin day, even if i chased the dust cart to put the bags in, i'm a bit of a loon at times 
she sounds very immature tbh and i would not have her home in dec. you need to talk to dh, get photos if need be of her mess and get him to back you to the hilt. she wants to be an adult, she can do it else where.
She is an adult but an adult living in your house you are allowing her to treat you like this does your husband treat you like this? The sleeping all day drives me nuts 1 of mine has been off college since june starts back next week i wake her if she isnt up by 1pm or she would be eating her tea for breakfast she also isnt allowed to leave her shite all overthe house you needto crack down on your family you deserve better have you always ran after her backside? I think she is in for a shock when she moves out but will be a life lesson
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