Advanced search

giving lifts

(199 Posts)
Kayakinggirl86 Sat 03-Sep-16 10:18:25

Ok trying to work out if I am being unreasonable to say no or come to a compromise with this.

I live about 30miles from my work, and work in quite a rural location (think industrial estate 12miles from nearest town). This week a new person (let’s call her Jane) started at work that does not drive, and has no way of getting there. Jane lives reasonably close to me (and could get public transport to mine, but would leave it cutting it fine to get to work on time). One of Jane’s first questions to management was who can give her a lift to and from work. So yesterday management approached me saying they had given her my details and for us to sort out lifts together. I muttered to them that I am not too sure it would work with child care ect and needed to talk to DP. Their response was you gave XX a lift a few years back when she was in the same situation. (This was before I moved in with DP and DSD, and it annoyed me a lot of the time). Their response was but Jane has no other way of getting to work other than a very expensive taxi, and she is learning to drive so would not be fore ever.
Is it wrong of me to say her getting to work is not my issue?
That she should not have applied for a job that she had no way of getting to!

Also me and DP have finally worked out a good morning routine (or I find it good as it allows me to beat rush hour traffic, and go to the gym- which means I don’t go in the evenings meaning he can work later/ don’t need to rely on child care) and I don’t really want to mess with it. I am happy to give her a lift home but not a lift to work.

Just when I said this too few friends they said I was being unreasonable and mean; as she is just young (she is 24), she is new, and it is a temporary thing so I should just put up with the change till she passes her test and be nice to her.

chickenowner Sat 03-Sep-16 10:21:43

I don't think YABU. I would absolutely hate to be put in this situation. I think it's fine for you to explain that you can't give her a lift in the mornings due to your schedule but you'll drive her home. That seems more than generous to me!

Jinglebells99 Sat 03-Sep-16 10:22:02

I dint think it's your responsibility to get your colleague to work and I'm flabbergasted that your management have asked you too.

chickenowner Sat 03-Sep-16 10:22:41

Agree with Jinglebells!

OrangeSquashTallGlass Sat 03-Sep-16 10:22:43

This would annoy me too.

I think it's perfectly reasonable to say that you can't give a morning lift as you go to the gym before work but that you're happy to take her home after work.

How close is she to passing her test?

RusholmeRuffian Sat 03-Sep-16 10:22:51

YANBU. I wouldn't want to do this, I like my peace on my commute and would hate to have to make conversation at that time of the morning. Anyway, it's impractical - unless she plans to take annual leave at the same time as you! What will she do if you are sick? You are right, she shouldn't have applied if she had no sensible plan to get to work and back.

Only1scoop Sat 03-Sep-16 10:23:08

Your employers are in the wrong
Yanbu at all

NerrSnerr Sat 03-Sep-16 10:24:00

YANBU who on earth gets a job with no means of getting there. Tell them that you don't go straight to work from home so can't give her a lift. Really cheeky of them to give her your details.

sleepachu Sat 03-Sep-16 10:24:06

only young - 24?!

Vvlgari Sat 03-Sep-16 10:24:29

I would be furious if my manager gave another member of staff my details and told them to ask me for a lift without even asking me first! Why on earth did she go for a job she couldn't get to and why did they give it to her knowing she couldn't get there? Utterly bonkers.

YANBU, I would say no.

OrangeSquashTallGlass Sat 03-Sep-16 10:24:55

I also don't think it's necessarily her at fault. She sounds young and naive. Management should never have encouraged this whole set up without talking to you about it first.

chickenowner Sat 03-Sep-16 10:25:13

Maybe she could get a bike!

Bestthingever Sat 03-Sep-16 10:25:23

Yes flabbergasted is the word! How dare they ask you?! She shouldn't apply for a job without having an idea how she'll get there. I totally understand how you feel about having a morning routine you don't want to mess up. Are they expecting you to go get her from her house?

Abraiid2 Sat 03-Sep-16 10:25:52

Just say you're happy to help in the evenings but mornings won't work as you don't go straight to the office.

LunaLoveg00d Sat 03-Sep-16 10:26:38

Your employers should not have given your details, and YANBU to tell Jane to sort herself out - why apply for a job in a location which you can't get to!?

Lots of employers encourage lift sharing and give perks to staff who car share. My husband's employers do this and they get the prime parking spaces nearest the entrance reserved. But all the employer does is supply to portal for employees to register their interest, it's then up to the employees to sort out the arrangements themselves and decide who drives, petrol money etc.

WaitrosePigeon Sat 03-Sep-16 10:26:50

Fuck that.

rollonthesummer Sat 03-Sep-16 10:27:02

I cannot believe that
A. Someone at an interview would ask this
B. The employer would agree and still offer her the job
C. The employer would ask you

No-I wouldn't do it on principle -even if I didn't go to the gym.

My DH pays £6000 each year in commuting costs. We thought long and hard about that before he took the job. Why should she have no travel costs and why is that your problem?! I hope you said no.

To be honest-is be looking for a new job if I had employers like yours!

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sat 03-Sep-16 10:28:32

She really asked management who could pick up and drop her off, honestly?

lionsleepstonight Sat 03-Sep-16 10:29:04


As part of the interview they should have explored how she would get to work, if the location is not on a bus route/need a car to get there.

And to offer your details out is soooooo wrong too.

How long will it take to pass her test? Weeks, months.....years?

The most I'd offer is a lift home for max 6 months Inc petrol cost split. Cite childcare for why only one way. Also make it very clear to your employers that this is not your problem to sort out in future!

If it was me, I'd happily say no to all lifts as I like flexibility around what I do on my way to and from work, I'd hate to be tied to someone else's routine.

Am astounded that Jane asked work who can give her a lift! Sounds like they passed her problem onto you. Cheeky gits.

VeryBitchyRestingFace Sat 03-Sep-16 10:31:11

You don't have a Jane problem, you have a management problem.

Seems as if Jane only applied for this position with the pre-conceived notion some poor schmuck would have to be her chauffeur. At least until she passes her test.

But hey, maybe it was management who suggested it to her in the first place.

JudyCoolibar Sat 03-Sep-16 10:31:18

Of course YANBU. Management should have told her that getting to work was her problem, not theirs. At the absolute most they should have told her they'd ask around but could give no guarantees. And they definitely shouldn't have put any pressure on you.

I'm amazed anyone thinks 24 is young and naive. I might excuse this in a 16 or 18 year old, not a 24 year old. To be honest, if someone that dopey turned up in my office I'd be rethinking my decision to employ her.

Is there really no public transport she could get, even if she has to walk or cycle to a bus stop or station?

rollonthesummer Sat 03-Sep-16 10:31:23

I had a colleague blagging for lifts when I first started work (I was 22 and had been driving 5 years-Jane is hardly young at 24!)

She didn't ask me as I lived in the other direction but others got sucked in. It was only ever temporary as she was Kearny g to drive. I left that job ages ago but I do know that she hasn't yet taken one driving test and is still relying on other people for lifts! This was 20 years ago!

ConvincingLiar Sat 03-Sep-16 10:31:33

I'd tell the employer you're happy to taxi her for your normal hourly rate and 40p a mile. Will they pay you or should she?!

"That doesn't work for me"

Mouikey Sat 03-Sep-16 10:33:04

Wow, just wow! YANBU! Why should you have to change your arrangements for an adult who made a choice to work in a location she couldn't get to. I would offer her the lift back you your house in the evening but not in the morning, but even then you don't need to do that or feel obligated to.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now