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Totally Anti- social DP

(8 Posts)
Kiddiewinks2008 Fri 02-Sep-16 19:00:16

My DP has no real friends at all and is totally anti- social- he hates going out and doesnt really like talking to people.
It never used to bother me that much as I am the opposite and have lots of friends to hang out with.
But as we get older (hes mid 50s and I am mid 40s) its started to bother me more and more as I feel like a single parent- I do everything on my own with the kids and sometimes I would like a 'normal' relationship with someone who likes doing the same things as me. DP seems content to stay home, watch TV, surf the net on his phone etc- its making me feel increasingly lonely in the relationship.
Aibu to think its not very healthy? I have tried discussing it but I just feel now that he's too old to change. I want to be out, living a life & giving my kids experiences.

nicenewdusters Fri 02-Sep-16 19:08:40

I think I'd be tempted to just crack on without him then. If he knows how you feel and can't or won't change then this is how it's going to be. Do you still want him, but the super charged version so to speak, or have you actually had enough of him full stop ?

Kiddiewinks2008 Fri 02-Sep-16 19:13:41

I do feel like whats the bloody point if I do everything on my own anyway- its lonely though!

SpookyPotato Fri 02-Sep-16 19:19:17

There's nothing wrong with your way or his way, just different. I know it can be annoying, I do most things with DS myself but I kinda like it in a way. You won't change him!

mermaid8 Fri 02-Sep-16 19:27:54

could you try to ease him into compromising? like perhaps start off with a date night once a week and an afternoon out with your kids at the weekend and try and build from there?

Dogcatred Fri 02-Sep-16 20:15:30

The trouble is you knew he was like this and married him so why should be change? I like my own company too. I am very very lucky and very happy that that is so. Not everyone does want to go out and meet people. You can be deeply content without that. We are all just made in different ways.

Msqueen33 Fri 02-Sep-16 20:18:57

I'm not hugely social. I find it very hard but I do take the kids out. Being anti social and not wanting to make friends is up to him but he should be wanting to do things with his family. Have you had a frank discussion about spending time together as a family? How old are the DC?

icelollycraving Fri 02-Sep-16 20:25:56

My dh is very antisocial. I used to be very sociable. As time has gone on, I've become more introverted.
His way is not wrong, neither is yours, perhaps not compatable though.
It can be tough. Yesterday dh went & chatted to a neighbour in their garden for about 20 minutes. I nearly fainted.

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