I like alternative health stuff: acupuncture, osteopathy, herbalism, naturopathy, deep tissue massage. I believe they have their place in a healthy lifestyle and they work for me, so making time for myself via these things is good and they make me feel good too.
I am not rolling in cash so see these therapists ad hoc. I tell them upfront that I can't afford to see them every week but I am happy to take what I can from ad hoc sessions. If I ever miss a booked session for whatever reason I always pay the cancellation fee because I respect other people's time. And on my birthday, people know to contribute to and/or buy me a session with one of them.
But I am continually blown away by the outrage I receive from them for not seeing them more frequently. And the barely concealed tactic of telling me that I shouldn't leave it long before I come back because of (something to do with ) my health.
An example is a woman I see for acupuncture. She is very well respected in her field and she is good at it. What she does really works for me. I saw her three weeks ago before the birth of my baby and she helped with some SPD pain i had. At the end of the session she insisted that I Skype her from the hospital the day after the birth and tell her how I was feeling and get her to come in and give me a few needles.
I said no. And that I would be in touch when i next wanted acupuncture. I am three weeks post partum and I have so far received 12 emails from her asking how I am and if I need anything. I have replied to 3 of them, saying I'm fine, baby is fine, thank you for her concern and I will be in touch when I need something. But still the emails are coming thick and fast reminding me that I need to come and see her to give my post birth healing the best chance, and the implication is if I don't I am causing myself a problem of some kind.
Here's what I don't get - She is good at what she does. It works. She is not a con artist. She has no need to force herself on people. But for some reason this money-grabbing masquerading as "concern" and this apparently "relaxed hippy attitude" barely concealing quite an aggressive pursuit of sales, is utterly off putting. Why can't she see that?
If this were just a one-off it would be an "AIBU about this acupuncturist?" But I have had it with many others too. I posted about an osteopath, a perfectly good osteopath who solved a lot of my back problems, who had no need to go begging for clients. a few years ago when I had my first DC. She used to send emails and make calls trying to guilt trip me into seeing her more frequently to help with my DC's "neck problems" (which she had diagnosed herself.) The implication was that if I didn't come once a week for the problem she had diagnosed and was trying to treat, then I was somehow not giving my baby the best start in life. When I reminded her that I could not afford it she said I should reorganise my priorities!
There have been others - not as persistent as these two, but people who have gone cold with me or annoyed if I see them for one session here and there and do not see them more regularly or follow their suggested "course of treatment," which usually involves extended sessions booked in advance and usually carrying cancellation fees if I cannot attend.
Can any alternative health people tell me why this is? Is it a lack of formal training which makes them not good at setting boundaries with clients? Or respecting boundaries when they are set by the client? I am fed up of having to stop seeing people who are really good at what they do because they overstep the mark, and then having to find someone else. Also I am fed up of not being able to use these therapies how I want to use them without having a whole lifestyle or regime forced on me whic orientates solely around that therapy.
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AIBU?
AIBU about people who offer alternative health therapies?
40 replies
itcontinues · 02/09/2016 00:28
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