I have been home schooling DS who has high functioning autism but this year he will be starting school (going into year 3.) We have 2 year old DD and DP works four days on three days off. I was hoping that on his days off I could go to the gym while DD naps and he looked most put out and said he'd thought we'd be spending time together [in bed]. I haven't had a moment to myself pretty much since DS was born and the thought of getting DD to sleep only to have to go and entertain DP and keep him happy pisses me off. I just want a bit of time and space for me.
When DD starts school I plan to do my PGCE because I've always wanted to be a primary teacher. My friend works at DS' new school and she has offered that I can go in and help in her class any day I'm free (when DP is off to have DD) so I'll have lots of experience before my training to be a teacher. The school offers placements for trainee teachers which could then turn into a job at my DCs school which is a ten mins walk from home - it could work out perfectly. DP is not keen. He is sulking saying he thought DS starting school would mean he'd see more of me, not that I'd use him as a baby sitter while I go off gallavanting leaving him without any down time.
I think he is BU because he goes to the gym on each of his four work days and because the teaching experience is beneficial for our future finances, never mind the babysitting comment. Even with two hours at the gym and three hours helping at school that's still a lot of the day together. AIBU to think he should be willing to enable me to have a life and that he's being selfish to expect me to just spend his days off with him and never have time to myself or do anything for myself?
AIBU?
to think DP should enable me to have a life now DC is at school?
mendimoo · 01/09/2016 22:54
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Absolutely go to the gym whilst DD is awake! It would be wrong to deprive your DP of the opportunity to bond with his daughter 
I am feeling like he's increasingly twattish recently. Monday was his first day off this week and we'd planned to go to a theme park. He'd been saying all week that he was looking forward to it. The day before I packed rain coats, sun cream, nappy bags etc and went food shopping for the picnic and all school stuff with both kids while he worked for five hours then went to the gym for three. He asked what time we should leave and I said 8.30 because the theme park is 1.5 hours away.
I got up at 6.45 with DD after having been up with her twice for 45 minutes each time during the night, and once for two hours with DS so I'd had around 4 hours sleep. I made the DC breakfast, showered and dressed the three of us and made the picnic. DP rolled out of bed at 8.20 and sat drinking coffee and reading the news on his tablet for half hour. By 9 I got impatient and asked if he was planning on coming because DD was tired and he told me to give him a break because it's his day off 
I reminded him that it was his idea to go on this day and that it wouldn't be worth it if we didn't leave soon. He was eventually ready at 9.45 and so it was almost lunch time by the time we got there.
He was grumpy all day because the DC didn't want to go on rides with him then when we arrived home at 9 pm I unpacked the bags and got DC ready for bed. I took DS up (he has a complicated routine because of his ASD) and when I returned DD was sitting watching tv while DP was asleep on the sofa! When he woke up he grumbled about how I deal better with lack of sleep than him and took himself off to bed.
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