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Who told me being f buddies with ex was a good idea?

(28 Posts)
RosieWithTheGoodCreditHistory Thu 01-Sep-16 01:28:13


So why, please, have I been engaging in this since April? I'm slightly proud that it's taken this long for me to get the full blown butterfly feeling about him back but on noticing this I just feel an utter twat. I KNOW he only sees me for one thing and I KNOW I'm selling myself short but the last time was actually nice and a bit coupley?


RealityCheque Thu 01-Sep-16 01:33:34


Birdsgottafly Thu 01-Sep-16 01:34:24

Who/what ended it and do you want it to be a relationship again?

I met up with my ex and it just kept him in my head and stopped me from moving on, so I was in limbo.

DioneTheDiabolist Thu 01-Sep-16 01:34:52

I don't know who told you that being FWB with an Ex was a good idea, but they were talking absolute shit!

He's you're Ex for a very good reason. Why do you want to fuck him instead of fantasising his humiliating demise, preferably involving goat vomit and a cerise pink, Beaupeep bridesmaid dress?

RosieWithTheGoodCreditHistory Thu 01-Sep-16 01:42:14

Birds Him, me, yes. Didn't 2 weeks ago but now I'd be lying if I said 'no'

reality don't see why that was worth a biscuit at all. Bye.

Dione I told myself. I am not to be trusted.

RosieWithTheGoodCreditHistory Thu 01-Sep-16 01:43:13

Also 'limbo' is the perfect description of it, birds

Birdsgottafly Thu 01-Sep-16 01:48:12

In my experience it just prolongs the hurt and 'grieving' stage of the end of a relationship.

If there isn't a genuine attempt at sorting things out and getting back on track, then it just leaves you feeling more resentful, bitter and angry.

DioneTheDiabolist Thu 01-Sep-16 01:48:33

OP, doing the fuck buddy, FWB thing with an Ex is always a mistake. Are you aware that other, better cock is available? And often it comes attached to a more exciting, nicer, man. In a world with nearly 3.5billion men in it, you are selling yourself short right now.

RosieWithTheGoodCreditHistory Thu 01-Sep-16 01:52:09

I have attempted to try these 'other men' that you speak of but just freak out and can't dtd. I guess that means I'm not ready. It's only when I post on here that I think 'what would my response to this be' and realise I'm a prat

RosieWithTheGoodCreditHistory Thu 01-Sep-16 01:52:24

Oh god I'm a prat

whywonthedgehogssharethehedge Thu 01-Sep-16 01:53:11

Now is the time to give your head a wobble and then eject the ex from your life. No good will come of this. Go and find new men. Some will be shits and some just shags most likely but hiding in the man pond is good man. Go fish him out.

whywonthedgehogssharethehedge Thu 01-Sep-16 01:54:54

You don't need to dtd with all the other menz. In fact I'd advise against it as a tactic. Try letting them take you out and make you feel great about yourself again.

RosieWithTheGoodCreditHistory Thu 01-Sep-16 01:57:32

I shall take myself to my (very much nicer without ex) bed and prep for a bit of man fishing tomorrow

I just feel like I need time alone before I can get on with someone new because I've always had at least a year between relationships (final contact to first, if that makes sense) so every time I now think of being alone I think of him

Aaarghhh why have I done this?!

RosieWithTheGoodCreditHistory Thu 01-Sep-16 01:58:28

We actually split up a year ago. Slept together until Christmas when we had a major bust up and didn't then speak at all until April

Italiangreyhound Thu 01-Sep-16 01:58:30

Rosie your post is quite aggressive towards yourself. None of us are going to kick you.

Do what you want to do. But just make sure you are also doing what is good for you.

If you left him, was there was a reason, if he left you, why are you back together sexually?

Maybe moving on will not be easy. But if the relationship was not working, and if he really only wanted you for one thing, and you are now giving it to him - well, maybe some counselling would help you to be more assertive.

Good luck. You are worth more than this.

RosieWithTheGoodCreditHistory Thu 01-Sep-16 01:59:03

I'm embarrassed by myself. Although I was enjoying the sex before I realised I was emotionally attached

RosieWithTheGoodCreditHistory Thu 01-Sep-16 02:00:10

Thanks IG. That's the kind of post that will make me feel better in the morning. I need an unmumsnetty hug, really

whywonthedgehogssharethehedge Thu 01-Sep-16 02:07:38

You haven't had that feeling of alone because the fucker snuck back in. Out of your bed tonight, out of your head will follow.

Have a secret unmumsnetty hug. We all do stupid shit sometimes, yours was just man shaped grin

You realised the error so now you can correct it. Just make sure you do what is good for you if thats new men or no men either is good just make sure it's not the NO NO NO bad idea man...

RosieWithTheGoodCreditHistory Thu 01-Sep-16 02:09:38

Thank you, why

But I really like having sex with him and I've built my sexual confidence up with him. I'm being SO STUPID to keep it going die to this but that is how I roll it seems


BoyFromTheBigBadCity Thu 01-Sep-16 02:09:45

Rosie, be kind to yourself. If I said what you're saying, and you were my best friend, you'd probably say things along the lines of you know what works, it's comfortable, no fear of the Unknown, it makes sense that he has a different emotional effect on you to that of a new sex partner. You might call me a knob but then you'd let me text you not him.

If you're not ready to block him, hide him on fb and change his name in your phone to 'Just fucking don't', or whatever.

I only finally got rid of my fwb, who was bad for me and had never even been a relationship proper, 10 days ago. You can do this.

RosieWithTheGoodCreditHistory Thu 01-Sep-16 02:13:42

Thank you! I'll try blushwine

Italiangreyhound Thu 01-Sep-16 02:24:34

Un-musnetty hug... XX

whywonthedgehogssharethehedge Thu 01-Sep-16 02:57:45

My brain is making connections. Are you Rosie with the nice arse?

RosieWithTheGoodCreditHistory Thu 01-Sep-16 03:23:37


RosieWithTheGoodCreditHistory Thu 01-Sep-16 03:25:05

Mild rebrand didn't work then blush

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