To be waiting for the massive B******s?

(238 Posts)
ladyjadey Wed 31-Aug-16 20:33:12

It's late August. This time every year as the nights start to get darker, giant, evil spiders of doom run at me across the living room carpet. They lurk next to my bed, in the hallway and climb the curtains. They barricade themselves in the downstairs loo waiting for me to inadvertently lock myself in a tiny space and spot them, mid terrified wee. I have been waiting for two weeks now and it hasn't happened yet. Has anyone else been afflicted with the influx of gigantic leggy knobs?

LittleBearPad Wed 31-Aug-16 20:34:23

We had a massive one in the bedroom the other day. He was dispatched out the window by DH who likes them about as much as you. grin

FannyFifer Wed 31-Aug-16 20:35:10

We are getting them already. Big bastards you can hear running over the floor. The cat likes to play with them.

MadameCholetsDirtySecret Wed 31-Aug-16 20:35:32

I have a large old house and have had 10 so far. Hideous leggy fuckers.

Tootsiepops Wed 31-Aug-16 20:36:25

It's spider season! They are looking for mates. As in sexual partners. Not friends to go to the pub with grin

We put conkers round the house. There's some chemical or something in them that spiders don't like excuse for me to go and collect lovely conkers

deVelvet Wed 31-Aug-16 20:37:24

Not had any this year yet, but can't remember any appearances last year either.

Think dog and cat get them or at least prevent them from showing themselves to us.

They do not exist. They do not exist. Oh please God, say they do not exist

SABeeTiger Wed 31-Aug-16 20:42:11

There's one in my bathroom right now, I'm scared to go in there in case it's moved or worse - gone!

ladyjadey Wed 31-Aug-16 20:42:11

There are no conkers around here.....literally none! I live in a cursed house of doooom! But I still haven't seen any and I think that's almost worse. They are coming

raviolidreaming Wed 31-Aug-16 20:45:35

Spiders kill flies, so they're alright in my book. The cat likes to play with them though sad

LumpyMcBentface Wed 31-Aug-16 20:46:35

Get a dog and a cat. So far this year (touch wood) they've dealt with all the visitors.

thisismeusernameything Wed 31-Aug-16 20:53:59

I had one that I dutifully picked up out of the bath for several days to take a bath. DH drowned the little chap over the weekend. I am still considering LTB.

Our cat has been terrorising another all evening but is yet to catch it. They're harmless and soon retreat to wherever it is they came from.

IveGotAGoldenTicket Wed 31-Aug-16 20:55:29

I'm waiting too. I see them darting across the living room at 100mph and I jump a mile. I don't like killing them though as they are no harm really so I have to get a glass and put them outside. I'm dreading the influx beginning.....

Justwanttoweeinpeace Wed 31-Aug-16 20:59:27

There was an enormous one in DS's bed yesterday morning. If he'd found it the screaming would have been heard all over Europe.

Had to get DH in. I couldn't lift it. grin

Ilovetea82 Wed 31-Aug-16 21:00:51

You do know they wait until you are asleep and then come in and rub their willies on your face confused

PersonalClown Wed 31-Aug-16 21:04:12

One of the upsides to having dogs.
My 2 are dedicated bug hunters. Moths and Daddy Long Legs are favourites but anything that scuttles or flutters is fair game!

EdmundCleverClogs Wed 31-Aug-16 21:04:25

Saw a massive bastard upstairs a few days ago. I mean one of the biggest I've ever seen (and I'm a country girl). Left it to it, a few flies around, and I hate the little fuckers marginally more than spiders.

HOWEVER - an hour later I was feeding breakfast to the baby. The cuntasaurus-Rex of spiders was crawling up my arm. I screamed so loud I'm suprised the neighbour's didn't check on us, and I'm still finding bits of porridge on the walls sad. Can it be winter yet?

tinytoucan Wed 31-Aug-16 21:05:39

We've had three in the living room in the last few weeks, they come out of the chimney. Now I jump every time I see a little movement out of the corner of my eye- DH is considering leaving for the winter, he doesn't mind the spiders but apparently I'm difficult to live with this time of year!

SaucyJack Wed 31-Aug-16 21:05:42

The ones you can see are fine.

It's the fuckers you don't know where they are you need to worry about.

ladyjadey Wed 31-Aug-16 21:06:11

I can't kill them. I am far too scared to get that close. I find somewhere to hide and DH deals with them. I once spent a whole night alone pinned to the sofa with a huge beast trapped under a plastic glass. I swear he was plotting my death.

chitofftheshovel Wed 31-Aug-16 21:06:35

I watched one in my dining room the other day. I saw her put on her boots, tie the laces, and saunter across the room.
Brazen little hussy.

tinytoucan Wed 31-Aug-16 21:07:30

Edmund that's given me the shivers!

ladyjadey Wed 31-Aug-16 21:08:13

Edmund - I'm crying laughing but also terribly sorry for your trauma!

2kids2dogsnosense Wed 31-Aug-16 21:10:51

So do our cats fanny - Spiders sound surprisingly crunchy when they are scoffed!

EdmundCleverClogs Wed 31-Aug-16 21:12:32

It's not funny, the jumper I was wearing is still in the corner of the living room (where I chucked it in fright). Keep expecting it to 'run off' under the power of fucking Aragog Junior blush.

TitaniasTits Wed 31-Aug-16 21:12:38

DH found a large black leg waving at him from inside his can of beer earlier. shock

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