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To give up my career for the sake of my sanity

(53 Posts)
lastqueenofscotland Wed 31-Aug-16 20:09:40

I need to be a bit careful as I know I have a few colleagues who MN! So will have to be vague.

I took a graduate role, good salary etc a few years ago. Big company, world wide, tens and tens of thousands of employees.
Since then my responcibility has increased, but not my salary.

But mainly it's so stressful, I am drowning g under the workload, I have the biggest portfolio, literally double the size of most other people's and when this is raised I get told there isn't the man power at the moment etc/everyone else is busy. Erm I've got double the work.
I went on holiday recently and really wish I hadn't had gone, I've still not caught up. I no longer have a lunch break because the mass of stuff I'll come back to if I so much as go to the cafe for half an hour is obscene. Even going to the loo I dread what I'll miss in 5 minutes.
None of my colleagues can help ease my workload yet when I look round I see people browsing holiday sites, chatting merrily to each other, I don't have time to do that, and if ever I pick up the phone they'll never take the call so I have to deal with their shit too.

I've mentioned this to my boss and she said she's had a word with the worst offenders for phone dodging and it's getting nowhere.

It really reached a head today where yesterday is forgot to forward one email. One lousy email, not even for an urgent issue (will be 2-4 weeks before anything needs to be done) and suddenly the partner who is head of our whole division is sending me emails asking what the hell is going on.
It reached a stage where I ended up being so stressed about the situation (which had been easily resolved by me forwarding the email this morning) I felt like my legs were going to buckle and ended up throwing up in the loo. But I've got people nagging me all day about this. I appreciate I made a mistake but the level it got escalated to was totally disproportionate. Yet the lady that called in sick to go on long weekend got a "don't do it again" email from her line manager.

I had a really aggressive eating disorder at university and find myself wishing I was still that ill as I'd get sick leave/people might go easy on me if I was still 6 stone.

The only thing that's keeping me there is there are 3/4 people there I really really love. But it doesn't really seem worth it any more.
I've found a new job, which would mean I could move in with DP at long last, the money would be a bit better but the long term prospects not nearly as good, but all I can see is more money less stress.

Wibu to give up a potential career for life for the sake of my sanity.

Sorry that was long blush

HamSandwichKiller Wed 31-Aug-16 20:15:28

Leave. They don't respect you. Take new job and start looking for the next job up when you've had a chance to recover from the hellhole you're in. Seriously, don't think twice about these work dodgers

Mamazita Wed 31-Aug-16 20:18:47

Seriously leave! I left a job like this back in February as I could not take the stress anymore. I feel so much better for it. Good luck to you.

Abraiid2 Wed 31-Aug-16 20:19:19

Just leave. ASAP. And good luck.

BendydickCuminsnatch Wed 31-Aug-16 20:19:20

Omg, definitely leave. What a way to waste your life! It all sounds like bullshit, who needs that stress! Life is too short, leave and be happy smile

ConvincingLiar Wed 31-Aug-16 20:22:06

I don't think I'd sacrifice a long term relationship for a job. My career opportunities would be far wider if I was willing not to live with DH but living with him makes me much happier. This job doesn't sound like it's making you happy at all.

One question though, have you been happy in other work places in the past? I don't want to be rude but some people are just hopeless with what they perceive as any pressure when objectively their job is fine and completely normal.

FetchezLaVache Wed 31-Aug-16 20:22:55

More money and less stress sounds like a good starting point! Plenty of time (assuming you're mid-twenties?) to decide what you want to do and work towards it. You're clearly on a hiding to nothing with this lot.

MalbecAndLindt Wed 31-Aug-16 20:24:26

Fuck yes!

lastqueenofscotland Wed 31-Aug-16 20:25:35

Convincing it's my first job.

I don't think having double the workload of everyone else in the department is "completely normal"

JellyBelli Wed 31-Aug-16 20:32:53

You have eyes, you can see if other people have time to surf online while you drown in work.
Is a ridiculous situation. no job is worth your health.

Hopefully you wont get treated like crap in your next job flowers

Ladymayormaynot Wed 31-Aug-16 20:35:45

Leave, it's unlikely to improve & eventually your confidence will desert you. If you have an alternative take it, you are young enough (though I'm making assumptions here that you did uni straight from school) but even if you're not, a change will give you the opportunity to start afresh. Good luck for the future.

MrsMozart Wed 31-Aug-16 20:37:49


If you don't leave by choice, you'll possibly end up leaving due to being ill.

Xenadog Wed 31-Aug-16 20:37:58

OP, what would you tell a good friend who was in the same situation? I bet it would be to leave without a moment's thought. That's my advice to you.

tofutti Wed 31-Aug-16 20:38:20

Another leave vote here. You're already doing extra work for no extra salary, why would they promote you? Seize this opportunity.

Just imagine relinquishing that inbox!

ForeverEyesOfBlue Wed 31-Aug-16 20:41:49

Leave! Take the other job, move in with your DP, get a better work life balance. Honestly, life is too short. I changed jobs last year for similar reasons, and I am much happier.

Orchidflower1 Wed 31-Aug-16 20:43:10

No job is worth risking your health for - I speek from personal experience. Either look for another similar job in a diff company - not all places are the same even within the same industry or change your thoughts on career - good luck whatever xx

Temporaryanonymity Wed 31-Aug-16 20:43:22

I remember feeling this stressed in my first graduate job. It wasn't so much the job; I hadn't reached the stage where I could work out what was a priority, what was urgent and what wasn't so much. Years on I think I've got this sussed and I rarely get stressed about my job these days, despite working full time as a single parent.

Do you do the whole time management thing with lists etc? It's a good habit to get into. I turn off the email alerts and deal with emails periodically but factor them into my to-do list. It's tempting to reply to easy emails straightaway but it's a big time suck and not necessarily the best use of time.

Only you know if moving jobs is a good idea or not. But seriously, you'll be working for decades so decisions now won't make a huge impact on the course of your career.

plominoagain Wed 31-Aug-16 20:46:18

Leave . You get no medals for running yourself into the ground . No brainer for me personally .

pleasemothermay1 Wed 31-Aug-16 20:47:27

I had a job were. I eneded up hiding in the loo
Dp was like that's it if you don't resign I will send a letter in on your behalf

Astoria797 Wed 31-Aug-16 20:47:34

Do you work for a bank? Sounds like you might. If so pls PM me as I can put you in touch with a few recruiters.

ThomasRichard Wed 31-Aug-16 20:53:05

Leave. More money and less stress sounds brilliant. The place will not fall apart without you and they haven't cared about you so you don't need to feel the least bit guilty.

sentia Wed 31-Aug-16 20:56:06

It's not a career for life if you feel like that. Once you brown out from stress you really don't recover, it breaks you, so go now while you're still a whole person (although a very stressed one). And give yourself a chunk of time off between jobs, you need to decompress.

lastqueenofscotland Wed 31-Aug-16 21:02:19

Not quite a bank, but company of a similar size to a bank, portfolio based grad scheme.

Thank you everyone for your support. Esp the PP who asked what I'd do if I saw a friend in a position like this.

FaithAscending Wed 31-Aug-16 21:13:36

Oh my goodness, go for it! I've been stuck in a job I hate, where I feel unappreciated and criticised for far too long. I've been offered a new job today and I feel like a weight has been lifted!

It sounds like you're only thinking of staying because you 'ought' to. Honestly, life's too short to be that unhappy. Take the new job, move in with your DP, start enjoying life again! smile

TheDMIsWrittenByCuntsForCunts Wed 31-Aug-16 21:16:35

Leave. Apart from the emotional toll, it would be a good business decision.

Doing twice as much work as anyone else without being given a pay rise? They're getting you at half price. It's a shit deal for you. Why wouldn't you leave?

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