Less of an aibu more of an aibp(12 Posts)
Am I being pathetic?
Short version : (and this may out me but Meh)
I am one of three sisters, one sister lives in our home town (the other not) and has a child similar age to my third born, my mum and dad also live in our home town still and as such we are fairly close.
Trying to cut this down but conscious of drip feeding incidences but basically today my sister and her kids and my mum went out for the day together and didn't even bother to ask me if I fancied going with my kids (only two live at home still - the other two are at uni lol) I feel pretty hurt about it as I wouldn't dream of having a day out with my mum and not mentioning it to my sis to join us. She's put pics on fb and I'm so tempted to comment something like "oh looks lovely, shame we couldn't make it...." Because obv she'll know that she didn't even bother to ask me 😪
So, am I being pathetic? My kids and I spent the day at home, had nothing planned and would have loved to join them if they'd have asked.
Sounds pretty crap for you, tbh. And hurtful. But in principle it's ok to want to see your mum on your own now and then, both for you and your sister.
How would your sister act if she'd been the one who wasn't invited?
Bit odd to never have an individual relationship with your parents and always have your sister and her kids around. Yes it's good to have big family time, but also nice for the grandparents to see their grand children separately too.
Arrange something that is just your family and them.
Oh op this happened to me. My mum and sister booked to see a film without me, they assumed I wouldn't want to leave dd for that long, so they didn't even ask.
I was really hurt as dd would have been fine with her dad at home, and I really wanted see the movie.
It was really crappy of them not to include you, you should ask them why they didn't invite you.
You're not being pathetic - it's human nature. All I will say is that sometimes not being included doesn't mean you were excluded, if that makes sense. Maybe there was a reason they just wanted some time together. Or maybe it was a spur of the moment thing. This is also another reason I hate Facebook - you see the outcome but with no idea of the context behind it.
Oh dear, sorry the drip feeding will now commence.
Tuesday used to be a day when my mum and I took my grandma out, then grandma died and it all stopped, it was kinda painful with her not there. Then suddenly my sis started asking my mum places. Fast forward to us both having kids and because she had school age kids she was always up and on earlier than me so I was excluded because she wanted to be off before I would be ready. Then her daughter went to school too and they had to be back to pick up at lunch. I had by then got my shit together and was able to get sorted earlier but the invites were few and far between.
Anywaaaaay, school holidays - nice to do family things, but somehow they always "forget" to mention days out to me or leave it too late.
Basically I think it boils down to her not wanting to share our mum (which is entirely bizarre because actually when we get together it is my sister and I that dominate conversation)
Thursday's used to be the day that my mum and I spent together (and again used to be with my grandma too) as my sister worked. Now my mum looks after her daughter hahaha!!
She does it all the time, and I can't think of a single other reason she does it other than she doesn't like to share my mum.
I didn't know anything about today until I text my mum as it was Her wedding anniversary, I asked her if she was doing anything nice and she said she was out with my sister and what was I doing, I said nothing, she didn't reply, I know she feels awkard about it too!!
Jizzomlette indeed, I don't expect to always have our time all together I just meant since it was school holidays and usually I'm excluded from their Tuesday jaunts for reasons detailed above!
Hmmm. Shows it in a different light. Sorry to hear all that. Do you think you could talk to your mum about how you feel and see if she could be the one to change things?
I've said stuff to her before Natalia, think she feels like she can't say anything. Of course she denies stuff and tries to make up shite excuses as to why I've not been invited....will be interesting to see what the excuse is this time.
Last time was that they meant to text as they set off but forgot so text me while they were already sat on the beach for me to Jin them (late afternoon to go to somewhere 45 minutes drive 😳)
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.