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Table manners

(55 Posts)
GingerbreadGingerbread Tue 30-Aug-16 21:29:19

I was out for dinner this evening with DH, MIL and BIL. It was just a local pizzeria, a nice Italian place but nothing overly fancy at all. Now I will say I can be conscious of myself around MIL as she has a few eccentric little "ways". When the pizza came MIL offered it to me first and I attempted to take a slice but it was stuck to the one next to it and so I gently touched the one next to it to pull them apart IYSWIM. Well MIL looked sick!

BIL took the slice I had touched and carried on seemingly fine, but then MIL kept making a big deal for the rest of the meal of BIL or DH went to get a slice she would say "only touch the one you are going to take!" When DH said she was being over the top and asked her why she was being like that she just said "cleanliness!"

I had very clean hands and didn't manhandle the slice just a slight touch on the edge. In my family no one would care about that I just found MIL's reaction OTT! AIBU?

Waffles80 Tue 30-Aug-16 21:30:41

YANBU. She's mad.

And rude.

MuffyTheUmpireSlayer Tue 30-Aug-16 21:31:17

YANBU, and it sounds as if everyone around the table knew YWNBU too. MIL was clearly OTT but that's probably something they're used to. One of those things you just get used to over time!

harshbuttrue1980 Tue 30-Aug-16 21:33:12

She's being over the top making a song and dance about this. Having said that, I don't want someone touching my food with their fingers. Maybe you could hold the other slice down with a clean fork while you cut away your slice. If you had done this to my pizza, I wouldn't have said anything but would have thought eeurgh.

BodsAuntieFlo Tue 30-Aug-16 21:33:23

I wouldn't have eaten a piece of food anyone else had touched tbh. What was wrong with cutting it or using a clean fork to hold one piece while you removed the other? I don't think it's eccentric at all, it's manners not to touch food someone else may eat when sharing. this is why I never share food or eat at buffets

Caffeinator Tue 30-Aug-16 21:33:47


tofutti Tue 30-Aug-16 21:34:47

YANBU. Do you think she was picking on you or is she like this with everyone?

My MIL would never behave like this. She would probably feed it to me.

BodsAuntieFlo Tue 30-Aug-16 21:35:01

If you had done this to my pizza, I wouldn't have said anything but would have thought eeurgh

Me too, but it would have put me off my food.

CandODad Tue 30-Aug-16 21:35:23

Could be worse. FIL insists on eating fajitas with a knife and fork.

DrFoxtrot Tue 30-Aug-16 21:49:21

YANBU I can't get myself worked up about other people touching my food, and I'm afraid that there's no 5 second rule in my house, if it looks edible it's fair game.

I'm not even bothered if someone licks the spoon while cooking shock or dips a finger in.

NataliaOsipova Tue 30-Aug-16 21:54:12

Oh God - if you're going to be that fussy with family/friends, don't go put to dinner and order sharing plates. Plus (and I say this as someone who worked in a restaurant as a student) does she have any idea what goes on in a restaurant kitchen? Does she think the chef/waitress are handling everything with sterile gloves? She was ridiculous and rude.

ollieplimsoles Tue 30-Aug-16 21:56:14

She was being rude and stupid.

She sounds like a stifling person to eat around full stop tbh

LittleBeautyBelle Tue 30-Aug-16 21:59:33

Your mil doesn't like you and she's being an absolute witch. You barely touched it and you are her dil....she's the one with no manners, making a huge deal out of it as if you had picked up the next-to slice, bit into it and slid your tongue over it and then handed it round.

I get grossed out very easily when it comes to food and people being gross, but from your post, your mil is clearly over the top and needs to check her own bad manners. Rude and unkind, over inflating your supposed "faux pas."

LittleBeautyBelle Tue 30-Aug-16 22:00:19

She wasn't grossed out, she wanted to make you feel like you don't belong.

OpenMe Tue 30-Aug-16 22:10:29

Have you all seen how they make pizzas? Of course other people touch your food, all the time.

Alexthekid Wed 31-Aug-16 00:34:19

I'd have touched every single other piece too grin And then if she was disgusted, she could have sat back with her passive aggressiveness and gone hungry.
Ridiculous. YANBU

VioletBam Wed 31-Aug-16 00:39:16

I must say I struggle with people touching food I'm meant to eat but I would never behave as MIL did! She's ruder than anyone gently touching a slice of pizza!

However, it might be better to use an implement in future.

napmeistergeneral Wed 31-Aug-16 00:53:21

YANBU. How ridiculous. As OpenMe says, the chef(s) will already have touched it, hopefully with bare hands, since they have been shown to be more hygienic than plastic gloves. Unless you'd just come back from the loo proclaiming with pride that you hadn't washed your hands, just ignore!

ImissGrannyW Wed 31-Aug-16 02:08:08

ha ha ha. This reminds me of the time I had two foster children, and a good friend helped out by making pizza for them (soooo home-made, she whipped up the base in her bread machine).

Birth mother complained to SS that I'd forced her children to eat food that had "been touched"

Some people are hilarious! (and have clearly never worked in catering!!!!)

ImissGrannyW Wed 31-Aug-16 02:09:30

just to add to my post, if you are horrified by the thought of someone touching the food you eat, you should never, never, never go to a pub or restaurant for a meal. Just never.

You'll want to drink bleach!

KoalaDownUnder Wed 31-Aug-16 02:13:59

How fucking rude of her to bang on about it.

VimFuego101 Wed 31-Aug-16 02:15:54

Some people don't like sharing food and prefer having their own dishes. Fine. But why did she agree to order a shared pizza?!

julfin Wed 31-Aug-16 03:00:10

I think she's being a bit silly and extremely rude.

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion Wed 31-Aug-16 03:16:12

Yanbu. Good manners are to make fellow diners feel comfortable with you.

She did not.

Any faux pas you made is miniscule in comparison.

VioletBam Wed 31-Aug-16 03:19:45

Also I'm confused at MIL "offering it to you first"

In a shared pizza situation?

What did she do? Pick up the massive pizza and proffer it to you?

Or give you a matriarchal nod and say "You first: Either way...very weird.

Don't people just help themselves together once a pizza arrives?

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