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I know IABU as I am the 'noisy' neighbour, but WWYD?

(110 Posts)
Yambabe Tue 30-Aug-16 17:00:16

We live in a smallish semi, quiet area. We ride motorbikes, and DH sometimes tinkers with them. We listen to rock music, not usually at ear-splitting volume but DH will often have mates round in the garden on a Friday/Saturday so there is music and chat. We try to be considerate re times etc and we do get on with all the neighbours - in fact quite often some of them will be in the garden with us of a weekend!

So that's the background about us. We will always apologise if our noise is bothering someone, and tone it down if we can, I don't think we are the neighbours from hell but you might not want to live next door if you don't want any noise at all.

My AIBU/WWYD - we have had new next-doors within the last year. They are a younger couple, no kids, couple of dogs, we get on in a "hello over the fence" way but don't know them well, have taken parcels in (as they have for us) etc. It's been fine. They've had some work done on the house, there's been some noise but nothing we can't live with considering how we are ourselves. I am self-employed and work from home, and for the last few weeks Mr next-door has also been at home during the day. He possibly works in education? Anyway he's been putting his music on during the day. It's not loud, I can't really make it out, BUT it has a low throbbing bass that is making my whole house vibrate! To the extent that I'm finding it really hard to concentrate on work, it just kind of fills my head and makes my teeth itch!

I'm hoping that it's just a temporary thing while he's at home during the day, but if not WIBU unreasonable to mention it to him and try to explain that it's not the volume of his music it's the bloody bass that's doing my head in?

Or considering the noise that we make ourselves do I just grit my teeth and live with it?

ABloodyDifficultWoman Tue 30-Aug-16 17:05:16

Living as I do next to someone like you I'm afraid I think you're just going to have to suck it up. I'll never understand why people have to play music so loud that it impacts on other people. Get some headphones or something.

furryminkymoo Tue 30-Aug-16 17:09:42

I would put some background music on and ignore it.

I say this as a neighbour who is about to make a noise complaint though. I suspect that they have been fairly forgiving of you?

Yambabe Tue 30-Aug-16 17:10:14

Headphones/earplugs are no good, it's not the volume it's the vibration!

He really isn't playing loud music. I can't even make out what it is. It's just the duff-duff-duff bass seems to be making every surface in my house buzz.....

pictish Tue 30-Aug-16 17:15:00

You can't complain, no...not if you're noisy yourselves. Or you can...but every time you feel like playing music in the garden and revving your bikes, he will be at your door moaning about it.

OpenMe Tue 30-Aug-16 17:15:15

I can't think if anything you could say that wouldn't make you sound most unreasonable. "I know we play music and are frequently noisy at the weekend and into the evening but please can you stop quietly playing music during the day?"

If the music is quiet, how can the base be throwing?

StopMakingMeLogOn Tue 30-Aug-16 17:22:26

You can't really say anything. Other people's noise is irritating, even when it isn't massively antisocial. The way you are feeling now is how your neighbours probably feel about you but you didn't care enough to change what you did so cannot ask people to change for you.

Pangur2 Tue 30-Aug-16 17:24:39

Could he have the sub woofer leaning against the wall?

Pangur2 Tue 30-Aug-16 17:26:17

Sorry, pressed post too soon. If you can't put up with it for another week, perhaps go over enquiring if they can hear your music and use that as an opportunity to ask about the vibrating bass/ possible speaker leaning on a party wall.

Lolabels Tue 30-Aug-16 17:27:46

I would make clear it's not the noise you have a problem with but if there was a setting he could change on his stereo to turn bass down could be as long as it doesn't ruin his music for himself!
But I would wait it out until kids are back at school just I case it's a holiday thing!

OpenMe Tue 30-Aug-16 17:28:04

It sounds like people quite often have to tell you it's "bothering" them and yet you repeat it and only tone it down if you can. I expect he's doing it deliberately

HoneyDragon Tue 30-Aug-16 17:28:52

We had to speak to our neighbour for similar as stuff was bouncing off one of our shelves. They were great .... Just remounted the speaker onto another wall and problem solved.

Floralnomad Tue 30-Aug-16 17:29:48

Perhaps he's deliberately giving you a taste of what it's like living next door to you .

SapphireFrenzy Tue 30-Aug-16 17:31:41

I have a neighbour (flat above) with the same heavy bass, not necessarily loud music so I completely understand where you're coming from. It gives me migraines when it's that heavy/loud. It sounds as if someone is knocking on my ceiling constantly. I just asked him to turn it down and he did (well I didn't even get a chance to ask he assumed I was there because of the music). Maybe just ask and get it out the way? I waited 6 months to build up the courage :S

SirChenjin Tue 30-Aug-16 17:32:26

I think this is what's known as karma OP.

Yambabe Tue 30-Aug-16 17:32:55

Oh I do care Stop, honestly! If one of our neighbours complained I would be on it like a shot, but none of them have in the 20 years we have lived here. Low turnover of neighbours in our street, the old next doors fell out with next-door-but-one over parking but other than that we mostly get on, and know each other well enough to say something if we have a problem

Might invite them over for a drink this weekend and see what comes up in conversation!

FruitCider Tue 30-Aug-16 17:32:55

If you were in a flat and not a house I would think you were my neighbour! She drills/saws at 10pm every night on the dot, and has done for 5 years. My revenge? I might have pointed my subwoofer at the floor, put D+B on and turned the bass up every morning I have work, the music goes on at 05:40 on the dot grin as for the drilling, my daughter sleeps through it and I wear ear plugs. I'm waiting for the complaints to start any day.

Yambabe Tue 30-Aug-16 17:34:10

Fruitcider no that wouldn't be me, both DH and I are useless at DIY so only ever have tradesmen in during working hours! grin

Bailey101 Tue 30-Aug-16 17:36:09

He could well be giving you a taste of your own medicine. Try keeping your own noise confined to your house and see if that brings an end to it.

SolomanDaisy Tue 30-Aug-16 17:36:09

Of course you can't complain. Neighbours settle into a pattern of what acceptable noise levels are and you have set that at a high level. Now you have to put up with it.

Bailey101 Tue 30-Aug-16 17:38:55

It might have taken ages for those neighbours to work up the nerve to ask you to turn it down - I imagine it would be pretty intimidating to ask a group of people, most of whom you don't know, to be quiet. They've maybe had months of upset at your noise before they've finally gotten up the courage.

MyNightWithMaud Tue 30-Aug-16 17:42:37

Regularly putting on music in the garden (unlike a one-off like a 21st birthday party) is pretty antisocial, isn't it? I live in a densely-packed urban area and have no problem with neighbours having barbecues and sitting/eating/chatting in the garden, but if they brought their stereo outside with them I'd think they were antisocial numpties.

You're really not in a position to complain about noise and need to accept this in the spirit of give and take.

WaitrosePigeon Tue 30-Aug-16 17:43:26

He's probably doing it deliberately. You sound like a pain in the arse.

phillipp Tue 30-Aug-16 17:51:33

Many neighbours won't complain because they are worried about repercussions and causing a feud.

Since you know you make noise to the point you know they would have noticed, why wait until they complain?

Sounds like you know you are making a problem and hoping they don't get pissed off enough to say anything.

I think ywb a bit of dick complaining about some music during the day when you clearly know you cause noise all weekend.

Yambabe Tue 30-Aug-16 17:53:08

Perhaps I didn't make it clear enough. I think we are quite noisy but none of our neighbours have ever complained about our noise in the 20 years we have lived here. We're a small street of 14 houses and most of the other neighbours have been here longer than us, I would hope that they know us well enough to say something if we were bothering them.

I'm prepared to accept that maybe they are all scared of me though (ha) and it's karma sad

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