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To not ask my dh to look after friends child?

(10 Posts)
hangovernursing Tue 30-Aug-16 15:27:43

My friend and I help each other with childcare in the holidays. I tend to look after hers much more as I have more help (parents and sisters) This week I was working but dh was home so I didn't need any help. However, she asked me to ask dh to have hers as well for 2 days but I've had to say no as my dh just doesn't want to look after 5 children sad she has since been very frosty to me. Should I have insisted dh help!?

JenLindleyShitMom Tue 30-Aug-16 15:29:51

No of course not. He is not an extension of you. He is a completely separate person with his own feelings about looking after children. Your friend should have asked him directly.

MLGs Tue 30-Aug-16 15:55:41

Can't add anything to Jen's post except to say I agree. He is his own person and she should respect that and not sulk with you.

Not sure why the fact you have more help entitles her to more help from you than she gives back either, unless she was willing to make it more even but you wanted to family or similar.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Tue 30-Aug-16 15:57:44

She's frosty because your dh won't provider her with free childcare?

Let her frost away.

Eatthecake Tue 30-Aug-16 15:58:31

No you shouldn't of insisted your DH had her DC, your DH is an adult and can decide for himself if he wants to look after a total of 5 children. She should respect he has his own mind and not be frosty with you

harderandharder2breathe Tue 30-Aug-16 16:01:47

Ywbu not to ask as per the title but yadnbu not to insist he looks after more kids than he's comfortable doing

Trifleorbust Tue 30-Aug-16 16:05:21

That's pretty rude of her, especially when you do her so many favours. She has an arrangement with you; if you have to work, that's that.

DoinItFine Tue 30-Aug-16 16:19:33

Of course not.

YWBVU to put pressure on your DH to look after somebody else's children.

If you owed her a few favours and she was really stuck, then OK, she could be argued to have provided childcare for you.

But you have been really generous with your time, and now she thinks that extends to your husband's time?

Er, no.

mimishimmi Wed 31-Aug-16 22:56:38

YANBU at all - the childcare arrangement you have with her does not extend to others providing care unless they want to.

SocksRock Wed 31-Aug-16 23:02:00

I often have a house full of kids on my days off. I enjoy it, my kids enjoy it, and it helps out my friends. DH would freak with that many kids in the house, so he doesn't do it on his days off. She is being massivly unreasonable and can frost away in her own little bizarre world.

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