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To not wipe my 6 year olds arse and ignore his current meltdown?

(240 Posts)
Changedmymindagain Tue 30-Aug-16 14:07:19

He wipes it in school, but refuses to do it at home insisting me or his dad does it. I'be just refused and he's currently having a meltdown on the toilet.

AIBU to expect him to wipe it himself?

StarlingMurmuration Tue 30-Aug-16 14:10:21

I only have a little DS, so I have no expereince... but I think YANBU. If he can do it at school, he should be able to do it at home. That's assuming he's NT - maybe your use of "meltdown" means he has an autism-spectrum condition or similar?

Hensintheskirting Tue 30-Aug-16 14:16:13

Mine (nearly 6) was the same. Over the holidays I've played hardball and just told him to sort out his own bum. Playing is more fun than sitting on the toilet for ages waiting for someone to come and wipe your arse....

JacquesHammer Tue 30-Aug-16 14:20:06

I don't know - why does he want you to do it at home?

He's only 6 - if he's happily doing it elsewhere I would just do it for him. How long would it take?!

otter2954 Tue 30-Aug-16 14:20:40

Bottom, surely?

paxillin Tue 30-Aug-16 14:22:03

YANBU. There are things he has to do by himself. Bum wiping is one.

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion Tue 30-Aug-16 14:24:06

Yanbu. He'll survive.

ElspethFlashman Tue 30-Aug-16 14:24:20

YANBU. Recently I was in a friend's house and her hale and hearty 7 year old roared at her from the downstairs loo "MUUUUM! WIPE MY BUM!"

It wasn't very edifying for anybody.

zolalola Tue 30-Aug-16 14:25:12

otter really?? hmm

KoalaDownUnder Tue 30-Aug-16 14:26:54

YANBU.

I have a friend whose son will be shouting for her to wipe him when he's 20, at the rate she's going.

He is physically capable, he can do it at home as well as at school. You're not the arse-wipe fairy!

AndNowItsSeven Tue 30-Aug-16 14:27:11

Yes really using arse in relation to a young child isn't appropriate.

JinkxMonsoon Tue 30-Aug-16 14:28:19

My nearly five year old is like this. Leave him screaming on the loo grin

MsMermaid Tue 30-Aug-16 14:28:36

I don't, and won't wipe my 6yo dds bum. We had this argument when she was 4 and about to start school. I taught her how to do it, then stood and watched her do it herself a few times, but then I expected her to do it herself. She had a few tantrums, but got over it eventually.

Maybe a few small rewards when he starts doing it himself? Be consistent, so now you've had one tantrum don't go back to doing it for him as you'll be back to square one. Good luck.

alltouchedout Tue 30-Aug-16 14:29:19

Idk. Ive been refusing to do ds2's since about that age, but sometimes I think I should have carried on helping for longer because he can still be ridiculously lax. He's 7 and a half and a couple of months ago he sat next to me wearing just pajama shorts and I could smell his bottom. I may have gone over the top with my explanation of how his bottom would end up (I might have told him it was going to rot) as I marched him into the shower, but touch wood, he hasn't let himself get into so vile a state since.

JacquesHammer Tue 30-Aug-16 14:29:29

Recently I was in a friend's house and her hale and hearty 7 year old roared at her from the downstairs loo "MUUUUM! WIPE MY BUM!

We aren't quite as obvious about it but sometimes I wipe my daughter's. The reason? Is when she is suffering from a bad bout of eczema she gets incredibly sore and needs a bit of a hand. She's 9.

She comes over and gives me a quiet "I'm just popping to the toilet" - I give her 5 mins and head up to help.

Of course she can do it herself. But I like to make her life a little easier where I can

NerrSnerr Tue 30-Aug-16 14:30:21

What's wrong with using the term arse? Bum, arse, bottom- it's all the same isn't it?

mummyto2monkeys Tue 30-Aug-16 14:31:02

I think yabu both of my children need help every now and then. Is it possible that he has had a particularly messy poo?
Do you have flushable wipes or a cleaning foam to help him get properly clean?

I buy this

www.amazon.co.uk/Vernacare-Senset-Cleansing-300ml-900fm300/dp/B00CGWPUQO/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1472563730&sr=8-1&keywords=Skin+cleansing+foam

D's who is autistic will spray this foam onto toilet paper to clean himself. Its great as that is its purpose and as its still toilet roll being used the toilet shouldn't get blocked as flushable wipes can block.

Astoria797 Tue 30-Aug-16 14:31:53

YANBU. 6 is old enough to wipe his own bum.

FloraFoxglove Tue 30-Aug-16 14:34:04

I have a 9 year old and I help out sometimes when he's got himself in a bit of a pickle. It's no big deal.

NovemberInDailyFailLand Tue 30-Aug-16 14:35:36

I have to admit that I shouted for Mum if I was having trouble cleaning up at this age. I think it's fairly standard as long as it's not every time.

ImYourMama Tue 30-Aug-16 14:35:54

Tell him to wipe his own ARSE.

Lazy little sod.

And why are autistic disorders being suggested for a bloody basic problem?

Next it'll be 'pathological Arse-wipe avoidance'

KoalaDownUnder Tue 30-Aug-16 14:37:31

mummy, 28 quid for a 'cleaning foam'?! shock

Bloody hell. Okay, if your child has special requirements, for sure. But otherwise, a spray bottle of water is as far as I'd go!

APlaceOnTheCouch Tue 30-Aug-16 14:37:42

It depends why he wants you to wipe it. DS had a stomach bug once and after that, he was nervous about going to the toilet and everything connected with pooing.
At a different point, we were monitoring him for allergies so we were wiping for him even though he was capable) so we could monitor his poos. I know this isn't relevant to the OP but it may be relevant to the posters who find it difficult to understand why a parent may be wiping an NT 6-yr-old's bottom.

Ivydalegirl Tue 30-Aug-16 14:37:42

I agree, arse is horrible word to use when talking about a young child.
Mine often asked for/wanted help when still at infant school age. It wasn't all the time so no big deal to me.

BastardGoDarkly Tue 30-Aug-16 14:38:33

£30 for that foam! shock toddler toilet wipes are flushable?

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