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To be annoyed by this comment?

(49 Posts)
debbs77 Mon 29-Aug-16 23:25:07

Ex is coming round tomorrow afternoon to see the kids. I left him due to emotional abuse. He is having a tough time, but all self inflicted. Refuses to get a job, refuses to help me financially because of this, blames me for everything. Starts every row (genuinely). I can send a polite message asking something and it ends in a row.

He just sent this......

Can you go easy on me tomorrow please? I'm feeling very sad at the moment

Like I'm some bitch. We barely even talk when he is over. I certainly don't say anything nasty. It isn't in my nature in the first place!

Collarsandcutoffs Mon 29-Aug-16 23:26:59

What a twat

Best reply is to not reply. Ignore completely.

If he texts again you can say oh I'm sorry I assumed you were joking.

Sounds like you are well shot of him.

Georgeofthejungle Mon 29-Aug-16 23:27:48

Sounds to me like he is looking for you to say something along the lines of 'oh what wrong, are you ok?'.. Attention seeking perhaps?

just ignore it. Delete the text to make yourself feel better.

MidnightRunner87 Mon 29-Aug-16 23:29:47

Victim thing to do is ignore, whatever you text back will be twisted anyway to fit the narrative he wishes to spin. id busy myself away in another room whilst he was there with the children too unless you can hand them over and send them out with him for an hour or two. People like this are draining to the extreme, you have my sympathies flowers

debbs77 Mon 29-Aug-16 23:34:14

I'm so pleased I didn't read it wrong!

I always take my other children out when he comes here so it won't be a problem.

But you're right, he does twist everything and makes himself in to the victim. Every single time.

I'm so happy to be out of it. It was a hard decision to make but definitely the right one.

ineedamoreadultieradult Mon 29-Aug-16 23:37:46

Ignore it, he wants you to ask why he is sad.

PepsiPenguin Mon 29-Aug-16 23:38:44

He wants a drama... Just ignore it.

hownottofuckup Mon 29-Aug-16 23:42:17

Urgh I have one of them. Just ignore it. Give him an inch he'll take a mile, you can't risk indulging it for a minute

debbs77 Mon 29-Aug-16 23:45:11

I've already had another message I'm ignoring asking when I will be back to my usual self. Not even opening it. I can see the preview.

You're right, totally draining. He doesn't let up. It's been going on for ages now

TheGruffaloMother Mon 29-Aug-16 23:47:33

He's quite the llama. Ignore him and strive to pay him as little attention as you can manage in the future.

SandyY2K Mon 29-Aug-16 23:51:40

He's attention seeking. Wants you to ask him what's wrong.

debbs77 Mon 29-Aug-16 23:52:58

And now he is ringing. Oh the joys

JellyBelli Mon 29-Aug-16 23:54:34

But you are supposed to stroke him and soothe his furrowed brow, its your role as a nurturing Earth Mother! /S.

nicenewdusters Mon 29-Aug-16 23:54:54

Yes, agree with everybody else to ignore, ignore. Whatever you say will be twisted round so it looks like you are being horrible to him. It's just more emotional abuse.

Lorelei76 Mon 29-Aug-16 23:55:18

You're asleep
Don't answer it.

JellyBelli Mon 29-Aug-16 23:56:36

Bang saucepan lids while you talk to him on the phone and sound bored.

Ooh I know, say things we dare you to say! Shout 'Bugger I spilled my champagne.'

Lorelei76 Mon 29-Aug-16 23:57:11

Actually the temptation to text "what part of EX don't you understand?" must be overwhelming.

PurplePenguins Mon 29-Aug-16 23:57:52

I agree with Sandy, he wants you to ask why. Just ignore him x

debbs77 Tue 30-Aug-16 00:02:38

3 missed calls and 5 messages. Pretending to be asleep. At midnight that isn't unreasonable!

TheGruffaloMother Tue 30-Aug-16 00:05:52

Jesus, OK, at the repeated calls at daft o'clock point I may myself have text him telling him he needs to fuck off and let you sleep.

Lorelei76 Tue 30-Aug-16 00:09:05

I have my phone set to Do Not Disturb at night, with some numbers exempted so they can get through. Can you set your phone for that?

SandyY2K Tue 30-Aug-16 00:15:59

Put your phone on silent.or unplug the landline.

What a real attention seeking baby he is. Bet you're glad you're out of the relationship.

Insomnibrat Tue 30-Aug-16 00:17:21

Absolute energy leech. Agree with the others, ignore ignore ignore. It's all about him getting attention. Tosser.

debbs77 Tue 30-Aug-16 00:20:05

My phone is on silent and it is WhatsApp so I'm avoiding it!

This has been going on for years, I just didn't realise it until a year ago. When I did, and after he shouted at my daughter after she stuck up for me, I kicked his butt out. Best move ever!

Ninasimoneinthemorning Tue 30-Aug-16 00:21:05

Wow he really does need attention doesn't he?

Don't feed it. He needs a row.

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