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Do you have any memories ..good or bad you can't get rid of?

(14 Posts)
user1471888857 Mon 29-Aug-16 21:07:54

I'm in my 30s now yet I can't shift this memory and it still makes me cry.
It was 2 weeks before Christmas (I was 10) and I was visiting my mum in hospital,she was dying of cancer and I remember sitting in the corridor but whilst they took my dad In the relatives room and I could see a few kids visiting someone with their mum and dad and they were talking about Christmas and Santa.
I just remember feeling so sad because I knew my mum wouldn't be there.
On the ward they had a Christmas raffle and my dad bought tickets.
I know it's not even a memory as such but it pops in my mind all the time.
It makes me cry but I can't seem to shift it.

DreamCloud99 Mon 29-Aug-16 21:14:12

I'm so sorry you went through that flowers

It's understandable why you can't shift it - it's a big emotional event in your life .

I doubt you will ever forget it . When you remember it , let yourself grieve and be sad or cry - then you'll move on again .

ThePinkOcelot Mon 29-Aug-16 21:29:14

I have a memory that I can't shift. Well, perhaps not a memory as such as only happened 3 weeks ago.
We had just arrived in Spain on holiday and we're just coming off the motorway towards our destination and we could see just ahead that there had been an accident as there were lots of blue lights and the traffic had slowed and was being directed by police as down to 1 lane. As we got nearer, lying on the road was a dead body covered in a white sheet. I could tell it was a man as his arms were spread out. I was absolutely horrified. I can't get that picture out of my mind.

SockThiefVictim Mon 29-Aug-16 21:35:09

Witnessing a fellow 14yo pupil fall off a bike and be crushed to a pulp under the wheels of a petrol tanker. 40 years ago but it still seems like yesterday.

user1468407812 Mon 29-Aug-16 22:01:14

Sorry for your loss OP, no child should have to go through that. Last year I was diagnosed with breast cancer and I have a 10 year old DD. The day after I was told I took her to school as usual and then came home and laid on my living room floor and wept and wept. Sometimes this memory pops into my thoughts when I least expect it.

RegentsParkWolf Mon 29-Aug-16 22:08:05

I have a particular song that was on the radio a lot when my mum was dying and it makes me cry whenever I think of it but it's my mum I'm crying about - the song is just the symbol. I suspect your memory comes into your head whenever you are missing your mum. Ten was very young to lose her - be kind to yourself and let yourself be sad when you need to. Can you try to pair it with a happy memory whenever you think of it? Sorry if you didn't want advice and were just asking out of curiosity!

manyathingyouknow Mon 29-Aug-16 22:57:22

Oh my goodness sad OP that is very sad. They say time's a healer but sometimes I'm not so sure

3littlebadgers Mon 29-Aug-16 23:09:37

Mine was cuddling my stillborn dd2 against my chest, and putting her little arms around my neck so it felt like she was cuddling me back sad

I remember it feeling so very lovely and sad all at the same time. Her little face was so soft, yet so cold against mine. I'd do anything to be able to hold her like that again.

I can't picture her though, no matter how hard I try I can only see what I see in the few photos we have. Sadly I remember looking at the photos at the time and thinking 'but they don't look like her!'

So sorry you lost your mum op flowers

thissismyusername Mon 29-Aug-16 23:40:55

During my parents break up, my mum coming down the garden path at the side of our house, picking up a cricket bat and smashing in the dining room windows on us as my siblings and I ate our supper. The apple crumble was ruined.

Solongtoshort Tue 30-Aug-16 00:20:21

When l was 7 my great aunt lily died, God l loved her. I don't remember her dying but l remember being told about it, the furniture, the wall paper the dress my aunty had on the smell of smoke on her, my dress how l had my hair everything. I remember the words coming from her mouth and wonder if l would ever go into so much detail with a child and still now all l can think of is my poor aunt lily by herself.

It was the first time anyone close to me had died, l know now it's irrational but l didn't like my aunty anymore (who had told me) l still don't really talk to her even at my nan's funeral last week which although l'm sad l think l was more distraught at losing my aunt lily.

JellyBelli Tue 30-Aug-16 00:24:20

I had a very bad case of measles as a child, and I can still remember the hallucinations. The wallpaper was crawling around.

JudgeLionelNutmeg Tue 30-Aug-16 06:07:43

Loads so I'll just mention one

Age 16/17 sitting on some public seating in the local town centre chatting with a friend. Can't remember exactly what the conversation was about but as we got up to leave I said loudly 'I think all old people over the age of 60 should be shot'. As we were walking away I looked back at the seating and saw an old man staring at us with such an expression of sadness and upset on his face - he had clearly heard my shitty remark and I can still remember the look on his face clearly after many years.

mimishimmi Wed 31-Aug-16 23:01:17


Onedaftmonkey Wed 31-Aug-16 23:09:33

Oh 3 yours made me bawl. I can't imagine the horror of a stillborn babe. My heart goes with u.
Op my last memory of my mum is being in the hospital and the honour box asking for 25p for polos, and my mum saying don't be silly they only cost 9p. The cancer had reached her brain and she was so muddled. Kept calling me by my sister's name. I was only just 13. There things stay with u for so long.
The memories you keep are not necessarily the ones you should. flowers

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