Or should DM bloody do one!!(10 Posts)
Long time lurker, first time poster but after the day I've had I'm going straight in with a AIBU?!
Sorry for the long post but I'm raging!
Parents came up to visit me and DD today as DH is out all day and I'm due to have DD2 any day. They decided to bring DNeice and Nephew with them to see DD, which was lovely but I said I wasn't able to do much as I'm about to pop.
First thing DM does when they arrive is moan that they can't go to the park and get ice cream because of me ( it's quite far away and difficult to park). Then she moans that DH hasn't cut the grass (it's not particularly long). Then she goes upstairs for a wee and when I go up about 20 mins later, I realise she has bleached my loo!!! I only did it on Thursday!
I then suggest a picnic in the garden and getting the paddling pool out, which is met with delight by the children but derision from DM.
I get sent up sainos to get lunch for everyone and they sit in the garden while I make it, not playing with the kids mind, just sat their talking to each other!
The kids decide to play on our swing set and I can see them through the window. Parents make no move to stand near the children ( who are 2,2 and 5). Inevitably, one child walks behind the swing of another and get knocked to the floor. Parents then proceed to scream and shout at the child on the swing and make him cry because 'he wasn't listening' and should have stopped the swing!
I was absolutely gobsmacked! Who the fuck shouts at a child and makes him cry, who the fuck lets toddler use a swing by themselves and then blames them when someone gets hurt...and who the fuck bleaches someone else's loo!!
Loads of other annoying stuff happened today but these are the main things that have pissed me off!
I must add however that I have a bit of a difficult relationship with my DM and we have very different views on parenting, so am fully aware that I might be over reacting... Also probably a bit hormonal atm, but I really felt sorry for the children today and am really reticent about allowing DM and DF to look after DD1 if that is the way she will be spoken to when I'm not around.
What do you think? Aibu?
She doesn't sound a very nice person, looking at the snapshot from today, and it's hard to see why you are expecting more from her. I think you need to step back.
What the fuck who brings young kids to see a very heavily pregnant woman, doesn't entertain them at all and go batshit when an accident (that would have been avoided had they been looking after the children) inevitably happens?? Don't think I'd be bending over backwards for another visit after DC2 comes along I'm afraid...
YANBU but you are getting stressed out so chill.....
They shouldn't have brought the others, I am constantly amazed at the behaviour of grandparents/other relatives when people are about to give birth/have just given birth. It's fucking unbelievable!
Thanks for the support! It's nice to know I'm not just over reacting and feeling the 3rd trimester rage!
She does stuff like this all the time though but because she is so aggressive and confrontational, I have no idea how to step back without causing an almighty argument ( and by argument, I mean full on screaming banshee style fit). Also, she thinks arguing is cathartic and will forget about it a few weeks later so I could literally spend the rest of my life telling her that I don't find her behaviour appropriate and having huge circular arguments! She has skin as thick as a rhino but will often say things like ' You never let us look after DD'.... Ummm, there is a reason for that!!!!
I'd say your ma bleaching your loo is the least of your problems.
I'm sorry to say it, but they sound like pretty shit parents, tbh. Mine are helpful, careful and attentive, and would be mortified if a child in their care were hurt due to their inattention (hasn't happened with our three DDs).
I would feel like telling them to gtf, tbh.
She behaves badly often. You tell her off sometimes, then she screams abuse at you and you don't speak for a while. That bit makes sense.
I'm confused about how it resolves though. Also, she thinks arguing is cathartic and will forget about it a few weeks later so I could literally spend the rest of my life telling her that I don't find her behaviour appropriate and having huge circular arguments!
Does that mean you pretend you are OK with her screaming at you to stop her screaming at you again? It's not working is it? She repeats the behaviour. Do not let it lie this time. If she can't behave properly towards you, especially in the presence of children, then you are better off not seeing her.
It sounds like they are utterly unhelpful and in fact a huge
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