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AIBU?

AIBU to not want to go on holiday with someone I don't know?

22 replies

RingOfFire79 · 29/08/2016 09:35

Have agreed to go away next year for 5 days with a very close friend. She has now asked if someone else can come along as well.

I'm in my 30s and much as I enjoy going on holiday with certain close friends whose interests align with mine, I know myself well enough that I will dread having to go on holiday with someone I don't know well (even if we do meet beforehand). Also 3 is a really awkward number - usually splits into 2 and 1. I just don't really want to spend my holiday making small talk.

AIBU? She knows me pretty well (she has asked if it is ok if someone else comes along) and I'm really not misanthropic but experience has taught me you need to be pretty careful who you go on holiday with!

How do I tell her politely/tactfully (I am a big people pleaser and dislike confrontation) without seeming odd or unsociable (is that even possible?)?

OP posts:

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MrsJayy · 29/08/2016 09:40

Just be direct say to your friend im not really keen I dont know your friend,

carabos · 29/08/2016 09:42

Don't do it.

DoreenLethal · 29/08/2016 09:42

Hows about 'no, I have no idea who this person is!'

dowhatnow · 29/08/2016 09:47

Just say no as it will change the dynamics.

Kayakinggirl86 · 29/08/2016 09:48

Don't let her change the dynamic. Explain to her how you were really looking forward to spending quality time with her.

ReggaeShark · 29/08/2016 09:55

I'd be concerned that my friend thought it would be OK to ask me this. Disaster. What did you say when she asked you?

Vajazzler · 29/08/2016 10:01

So it will be 3 of you instead of 2? I wouldn't. Threes a crowd is a saying for a reason

MoreCoffeeNow · 29/08/2016 10:04

Just say you'd rather not holiday with a stranger.

Topseyt · 29/08/2016 10:06

No. Just no. Two is company, three is a crowd.

MiddleClassProblem · 29/08/2016 10:06

I would say "but I was really looking forward to spending quality time with you" or something or just be honest.

Did she give a reaOn for wanting this friend along? Like, they've always wanted to go where we are going, their going through a tough time, she thinks you two will really bond etc?

sizeofalentil · 29/08/2016 10:06

My friend did this to me once - but after the other person had booked their ticket!! And we were going travelling for 3 weeks around Thailand.

I'm not the most sociable person and was dreading it.

Long story short, the 3rd person was brilliant and the dynamic of the holiday was changed for the better. We got on really well and have been friends for 8 years now.

So, it might not be so bad if you did say yes. Though totally up to you of course.

HeyNannyNanny · 29/08/2016 10:22

"I'm sorry. I'd much rather it just be you and I. I'm not sure how comfortable I'd be with someone I don't know."

SuperFlyHigh · 29/08/2016 10:25

Don't do it!

I went in holiday with a close friend and her other friend as a trio. It was fine initially but when eg they wanted to go clubbing etc (the other friend is about 8 years younger than me) I felt obliged into going and when I didn't enjoy it and wanted to leave early I felt pressure to stay, especially from the friend. This was despite us all choosing the resort etc at the outset. Never again.

RingOfFire79 · 29/08/2016 10:25

Thanks all! No reason given - I'm usually pretty sociable (I'm introverted but have learnt to present myself as an extrovert for short periods of time e.g. networking events, dinners) so it is possible that she thinks I wouldn't mind.

Also, the very original plan was to go skiing for her birthday (this has literally just popped into my head - we haven't mentioned the birthday aspect for it in months, not sure that's why we're doing it anymore) so perhaps this explains it... maybe I should say that I don't go on holiday with people I don't know but am aware that the original idea was that it was to celebrate her birthday so that if she'd rather have a big group trip, that's fine by me and we can go away together some other time?

OP posts:

RingOfFire79 · 29/08/2016 10:28

And I haven't said anything yet - she only asked this morning and wanted to figure out what to say/whether IABU etc. :)

OP posts:

MiddleClassProblem · 29/08/2016 10:32

Is her birthday during the trip?

crje · 29/08/2016 10:34

Have ye booked?

I think it's hard to say no too.

I'm going on a friend holiday soon
There are 6 of us, all whom I know well. One friend has just asked another who most of us don't know.
I'm not thrilled but as its bigger numbers it's easier to suck up.

I think you should say something!!
Just not sure what, sorry.

RingOfFire79 · 29/08/2016 10:34

We have no idea when we're going yet - just some time when it's snowy!

OP posts:

RingOfFire79 · 29/08/2016 10:44

Thanks all - she is such a good friend and means the world to me, just don't want to p*ss her off by seeming anti-social :)

OP posts:

BIWI · 29/08/2016 10:46

But she has asked you! All you need to say is "I'd much prefer it if it was just the two of us".

Mycraneisfixed · 29/08/2016 10:48

Unless she's making it a big group holiday:

"I'd rather not have a holiday with someone I don't know and two's company, three's a crowd. I'm sure you understand."

MidnightAura · 29/08/2016 11:07

Yanbu, it would change the dynamics of the group.

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