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AIBU to consider becoming a nun?

(21 Posts)
BillericayDuckie Sun 28-Aug-16 22:17:30

or only entertaining the company of women?

I've just been badly let down by the third man in a row (over a period of 21 years I might add) and now face the prospect of starting over again at the age of 43.

Should I give up on men altogether or are there decent (single!) men out there who treat their partners with respect and aren't emotionally abusive, controlling wastes of space???

Myusernameismyusername Sun 28-Aug-16 22:21:20

I would say give yourself some time and space to be alone.

Been in your shoes. Put myself on a relationship holiday and really did me the world of good. I also now seem to be able to spot a tosser from a mile off now too.

It sounds wanky but you do actually need to learn who you are, and why you have ended up here before you can really move on

chickenowner Sun 28-Aug-16 22:23:45

43 is definitely not too old to start again.

When I met my DP he was 46. My Mum met her DH when she was 53, and married him when she was 67!!!

MadameCholetsDirtySecret Sun 28-Aug-16 22:29:18

I met DH at 43 after 2 longterm relationships with fuckwits. We have been very happy for 8 years. He is the kindest and most decent man.
Don't give up hope.

BillericayDuckie Mon 29-Aug-16 11:21:00

Thank you for your kind messages. Am definitely going to give myself time and space.

It's just that the thought of potentially not ever being in a loving and caring relationship makes me feel like I'm a past it crazy cat lady... and I haven't even got any cats!

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Mon 29-Aug-16 11:22:50

Just give up one the losers, the players, the cocklodgers, the misogynists and the wasters.

Then you'll be grand.

BillericayDuckie Mon 29-Aug-16 11:42:46

Today 11:22 MovingOnUpMovingOnOut

Just give up one the losers, the players, the cocklodgers, the misogynists and the wasters.

Then you'll be grand.

So a nun it is then. That way I won't waste any more of my life mistaking these types for men that actually care!! grin

trashcanjunkie Mon 29-Aug-16 11:47:59

Oh pet! I was single for seven years (with three dcs) before I met my dp. I truly had given up on men. I felt very lonely at times, but I had really had with cocklodgers and abusive twats. I had the mindset that I was going to be single forever, and when I met dp as a friend, took it very slowly indeed.

He's absolutely the man of my dreams in every way. We're getting married in April after five years together and six years since I met him.

finnishbiscuiteater Mon 29-Aug-16 11:58:26

Can I join you in the being a nun plan?

Although actually, I'm maybe preferring the crazy cat lady plan smile

BillericayDuckie Mon 29-Aug-16 12:46:11

Ah! That sounds lovely trashcanjunkie. Glad it's working out for you after so long. Best wishes xx

BillericayDuckie Mon 29-Aug-16 12:48:58

Perhaps we can be crazy cat nuns finnishbiscuiteater?

Themoleisdead Mon 29-Aug-16 12:58:01

I harbour dreams of setting up some form of community living for women - I have given up on men but would like to live with other people.

finnishbiscuiteater Mon 29-Aug-16 13:07:22

I would love to be a crazy cat nun with you Billericay (although it may be quite a commute to work if I have to move to Billericay grin)

Themole have you seen this site?

Mittensonastring Mon 29-Aug-16 13:09:28

I went out with an awful person when I was very young. He was the only dreadful BF I ever had and all the rest were great though not quite good enough for me. The experience toughened me up to not put up with any awful behaviour. I have no idea what you are like as a person but on threads here there seems to be a large amount of women who put up with utter shit and the recurring theme seems to be low self esteem on their part unfortunately.

I find men both necessary and extremely irritating even if they are the nice ones.

Themoleisdead Mon 29-Aug-16 13:13:58

finnish that is exactly the sort of thing grin.

Billericay. I suspect you are from my neck of the woods so maybe the losers, cocklodgers, wasters and misogynists all congregate here

BillericayDuckie Mon 29-Aug-16 14:34:56

That community living looks just the ticket finnish - no smelly boys!

Themole, as I'm having to move away I certainly hope so - but I'm not holding my breath! Beware of the latest one on the block wink

finnishbiscuiteater Mon 29-Aug-16 21:59:12

Dammit. I am a fool who talks to exdp when I shouldn't. 30 days nc is the plan, yeah? And a cat, and a nunnery?

I am also 43, but not starting again. Will be single and happy forever... smile

Kayakinggirl86 Mon 29-Aug-16 22:28:57

Reasons to become a nun:
1. No one will ever ask about your love life.
2. You get given quite reflection time every day.
3. You don't have to work out what to wear in the morning.
4. If having a bad hair day you can cover it up.
5. You don't need to cook everyday.

MeMySonandl Mon 29-Aug-16 22:38:05

That was my retirement plan. I wanted to become a nun so I could spend the time in peaceful relaxation meditation, singing and with a hopefully lovely community that would keep me company and care for me in my old age and bury me in the garden when I was done.

Problem was that the last divorce process has killed all my faith and that despite my insistence to stay in my own, I have found yet another man, who seem to be lovely and cares for me nicely.

So, there is hope, I met him years and years ago

... when I was your age grin

BillericayDuckie Tue 30-Aug-16 09:37:34

Those are pretty convincing arguments towards becoming a nun Kayak - particularly numbers 3, 4 and 5.

The biggest argument against for me is that having my hair covered in such a fashion would make my nose look gigantic. Whilst not an issue in so far as needing to be attractive to the opposite sex etc. I would be concerned about scaring any small children I came into contact with, or indeed myself if I happened to catch myself in a mirror. That's if nuns are allowed mirrors... which they probably aren't... but mirrors might help with the quiet reflection part of their nun duties....

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad Tue 30-Aug-16 11:45:13

I gave up on men and married a woman - never been happier

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