DH has this friend. They were best friends since primary school, lived together in late teens/early twenties etc.
Just after DH met me his friend met his now wife. He fell off the face of the earth for a couple of years, changed his number etc. He then showed up again, messaging occasionally, but still really sporadic and he would often start a conversation on messages and when DH replied he would not reply again for months.
We got married, he was best man. His OH came and sat there all day with such a face on. She was rude to other people, she was in and out even during the meal and speeches. TBH on the day I didn't notice it much but a LOT of the guests mentioned it to me after, especially those on the same table. DH was annoyed as his BM had to keep running off after his OH. He told me a few weeks after the wedding that the reason she had been so annoyed was because she wasn't sitting at the top table with BM.
After that we saw/heard even less from him. They had a child, and then they got married. DH was BM. We all went to the wedding (DH me and 2 DCs) but we had to pay for our own meal (WTF??). We invited them round a few times, the friend would come but his wife didn't.
Then he arranged to meet DH for a few drinks, it was supposed to be just them. DH went and the friend's DW had tagged along last minute. She sat there the whole time giving DH dirty looks and making it all really awkward.
That was a year ago. Recently the friend has been messaging again, pretty consistently. DH seemed to be happy with it, it was going well. So I suggested we invite them to go to the zoo with us. They said yes (to our surprise) and we all went to the zoo with the DCs. IMO we had a nice time, we were all chatting away, there didn't seem to be an atmosphere or anything.
A few weeks ago the friend mentioned an event to DH, said they were thinking about going, would we like to go. We said yes, and they said they would confirm if they were going. It was on yesterday. On Wednesday DH messaged and asked were they going, and the friend said he still wasn't sure, but probably not.
Yep, they went. Now DH is angry at me for inviting them to the zoo in the first place. I know he is hurt and later he will apologise to me, I am not worried about that really.
But AIBU to think that enough is enough now? I wasn't wrong to invite them to the zoo, but now we should just stop making any effort as they have made their feelings really clear? I just know that we won't hear from his friend now for a month, and then he will be messaging DH again and DH will be pissed off about the whole thing. I can't tell DH who to be friends with, but if one of my friends treated me like this I would just cut them out and I wish DH would do the same.
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AIBU?
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52 replies
toastymarshmallow · 28/08/2016 13:47
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FrancisCrawford ·
28/08/2016 13:51
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Arfarfanarf ·
28/08/2016 14:32
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