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AIBU?

To hate "Viral Facebook Shaming"?

89 replies

Chihuahualala · 28/08/2016 08:02

I'm not talking about missing people, pets etc - I think it's great for that that pictures can be shared.

I just read a shared post where someone is offended that someone pushed past her to get on a train and didn't offer her a seat (she's pregnant). A photo of the offender is attached. This person could not have been aware of their actions/ on the spectrum maybe and now has their picture shared globally to show what a wanker they supposedly are.

The same thing happens in local groups where someone has taken a picture of a car complete with number plates and rants about some misdemeanour they have done. Usually accompanied with, "I had my kids in the car you wanker" and cue loads of comments such as "Aw hun, I'll get xxx to break their legs"

AIBU to find this type of vigilante style shit annoying on Facebook? Before the, "if it gets on your nerves so much delete your account" brigade arrive it's a small annoyance and doesn't take over my enjoyment of Facebook but I just find it really distasteful. I could not be aware I've done something awful (my eyesight isn't great) and next thing I could be seeing my mug being shared all over the place I suppose!

OP posts:
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coffeetasteslikeshit · 28/08/2016 08:04

Yanbu

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PotofGold1186 · 28/08/2016 08:05

It's awful. Also, most of the time it is a picture of the person after whatever they did so how do we know they are actually guilty?! It can easily turn into a form of bullying.

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Dontyoulovecalpol · 28/08/2016 08:05

Annoying? It's enraging! These people are stupid simpletons. What on earth possess them to do such a thing?!

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whateveryousay · 28/08/2016 08:05

YANBU. It's awful.

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onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 28/08/2016 08:06

YANBU it's the social media equivalent of lynching I dislike it too.

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Thefitfatty · 28/08/2016 08:08

YANBU. I don't like it. There are always two sides to every story.

But I don't like the missing people, pets stuff either (since most of it is fake anyway).

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ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 28/08/2016 08:08

It's horrible, only gives one side of the story and could be quite dangerous.

I am terrified that one day someone could do this to me over some minor thing, my photo would be shard by thousands of keyboard warriors, then my ex husband would know where I live.

These people have no idea of the lives they could be destroying because someone behaved like a bit of a dick for a few seconds.

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Mouthfulofquiz · 28/08/2016 08:10

I tried to report a photo of something like this the other day and Facebook said it was fine! It's really not!

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motherducker · 28/08/2016 08:14

The mouth frothers doing the shaming must be such saddos.

YANBU.

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DeathStare · 28/08/2016 08:15

I hate this with a passion. One person gets vilified with no opportunity to defend themselves at all, and only one (possibly untruthful, possibly exaggerated version of events). To me this is just a modern-day lynching.

And it's not just that I dislike seeing it on Facebook and it irritates me, it's that it makes me worry about the overall consequences so, like you, me deleting my Facebook account wouldn't address me worries about it.

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Aeroflotgirl · 28/08/2016 08:16

I think its fine, if it serves a public service, like someone was attacked or assulted, or a child was nearly kidnapped, so public can be aware, but not of its a minor misdemeanor.

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PumpkinPie9 · 28/08/2016 08:16

Yanbu

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minifingerz · 28/08/2016 08:19

I've only seen two. One where two blokes in a white van refused to vacate their parking space outside the house of someone attending the funeral of their child - the space was needed for the hearse. Another one where they showed cctv footage of an elderly neighbour keying their car (he'd done it many times).

Both times I rather appreciated the 'village stocks' element of it.

I'd quite enjoy FB shaming some of the fly-tipping, dog crap leaving fuckers that live near me, if I could manage to film them doing it.

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DeathStare · 28/08/2016 08:19

Just to add, I struggle with the missing people ones too.

I think it can be handy in crisis situations where there is a genuine fear for somebody's safety, but I also believe that an adult has the right to decide that they no longer want contact with people they used to have contact with or even to leave their whole life behind if they wish and many people choose to do so for very good reasons. By "helping" people reconnect with people they had chosen to get away from you may often be forcing trauma or abuse back on them.

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phillipp · 28/08/2016 08:21

I think its fine, if it serves a public service, like someone was attacked or assulted, or a child was nearly kidnapped, so public can be aware, but not of its a minor misdemeanor.

But that's the point, there is usually no proof anything like that happened and if there is, it would come from the local police force. Not some random.

I only share missing persons or 'wanted' posts that come straight from our local police force Facebook page.

It's not ok to post someone's photo and publicly shame them. And if someone posted here that it happened to them and they had no clue what happened I am sure everyone would say 'Yanbu it's not on'.

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romanvilla · 28/08/2016 08:23

I'm not sure.
I saw one on Friday, the first picture was of a big family on the beach.
The second was when they'd left, with piles of rubbish including dirty nappies and bottles left scattered around.
Perhaps naming and shaming is wrong, but if it's stops them doing it again?

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LolaStarr · 28/08/2016 08:25

YANBU. There was a post shared locally to me recently of a pony that was supposedly 'mistreated' because she was a bit skinny. The owner got named and was getting loads of threats and abuse from people. It turned out the pony was a much loved 38 year old (ancient for a pony!) who had been owned by the family for years, was being fed 6 times a day and was just showing her age. They have owned her for years and were absolutely devestated Sad

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Fairylea · 28/08/2016 08:26

Yanbu.

I think it's the modern equivalent of putting someone in the stocks and throwing rotten fruit at them. No place for it in civilised society.

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Notapodling · 28/08/2016 08:26

Yes, it's awful.
It's nothing more than bullying to make an accusation while publicly displaying someone's picture without their knowledge or the chance to defend themselves.
Maybe they are an awful selfish person or maybe there was more to the story. Either way, this is not the way to do it.

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phillipp · 28/08/2016 08:26

I saw one on Friday, the first picture was of a big family on the beach.
The second was when they'd left, with piles of rubbish including dirty nappies and bottles left scattered around.

How do you know they left all the crap? Someone could have taken a photo of a family, then a pile of rubbish left by someone else. Or even a staged pile of rubbish. People do this shit to get likes and shares and their face in the local rag.

If you think about it, why would someone take a photo of a family? How did they know they were going to leave a pile of rubbish?

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romanvilla · 28/08/2016 08:30

Good point.
It would be odd to take a photo of a random family on the beach..

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BeingATwatItsABingThing · 28/08/2016 08:31

The chances are they won't see it though roman, so they are being shamed for nothing.

I also hate it but more because it clogs up my newsfeed. I hadn't even considered some of the consequences said above. Confused I never share them (or the missing pet/person ones) because I don't believe half of them to be true. I also never share those ones that say "1 share for a prayer" either because what use is that?

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cherryplumbanana · 28/08/2016 08:32

I am normally part of the "delete your account if it makes you so miserable" brigade, but I think this is completely different and I agree with you.

It's very dangerous, and there are 2 sides to every story, what about innocent until proven guilty? I remember a woman suddenly starting to shout about a man in a train because he didn't lift a finger to help her getting her buggy/ toddler etc in the train. He was the only one sitting nearby. He didn't say a word, and when we arrived in London, he took the crutches that were underneath his seat. Poor guy.

I am not against the parking ones, shaming someone when they are very obviously blocking your car, it's obvious from most photos the driver who left his car is being an idiot!

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2kids2dogsnosense · 28/08/2016 08:32

YANBU. I don't like it, either. It's like a witch hunt - and often I think it's spite hen people have grudges against a neighbour etc. Too easy to do, too hard to refute, and no-one is made to take responsibility for any lies/errors.

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PumpkinPie9 · 28/08/2016 08:32

I was going to ask why they would have taken a photo of the family before they left too.

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