DS is 8 months old. I've always had a love/hate relationship with breastfeeding, physically finding it very easy from the start but mentally finding it draining being the only one who can comfort / feed him (DH can comfort him in other ways unless DS is tired, then he just wants boobs). Recently DS has started biting - it's as he's falling asleep on the breast so not intentional so usual remove/ say no/ put down doesn't work as he doesn't know he's doing it, it's just his latch gets lazy.
Reasons for wanting to give up:
- Biting (see above)
- DS will not go to sleep without boob - when others have put him to bed (DH and DM) he either cries himself to sleep in their arms (which takes several hours) or refuses to go to sleep until I have returned.
- He stays latched on for most of the night, waking up when unlatched or if co-sleeping the boob falls out of his mouth, this means I'm being woken up every 20ish minutes to put the boob back in. If I don't, we have hours of crying himself to sleep (fights if rocked, sushed, patted etc).
- I'm exhausted.
- I can't lose weight
- I supposed to be on medication to improve bladder function and reduce incontinence but it's contraindicated with breastfeeding.
- I hate co-sleeping, it's affecting my physical health and my relationship.
Reasons I feel I should continue:
- DS will not take a bottle. I suspect if I stop feeding him he will stop taking milk. He won't take it from a cup either. At 8 months, this is obviously not good. He does eat well though, so won't starve, but may be nutrient deficient.
-Sterilizing, making up bottles, making up bottles when we go out just seems like such a hassle.
- He loves the boobs.
- breast milk is better for him.
- If I no longer boob him to sleep how will he go to sleep - I'm more bothered about the middle of the night wake ups rather than bedtime iyswim.
I feel so guilty as it seems so selfish to want to give up, but my reasons for not doing are also selfish.
I just don't know what to do for the best :( Everyone said his sleep would get better (at 4months, 6 months, when he starts solids etc etc) but it hasn't he's always woken up loads - between every 20mins and every 2 hours, without fail.
I don't know what to do!!
AIBU to give up? AIBU to feel so torn about it?