I'm 3+ years past my bereavement (full term stillbirth) and this seems to be the cut off point in people's heads for me - don't know why.
I am not depressed. I am coping. I work hard. I raise my living children. I laugh. I smile. But there is a part of me that is so, so desperately sad still - and always will be.
I've had a rough patch recently where the grief resurfaced and I tried to reach out to my family and talk about my daughter. All I got was a lot of 'isn't it time you moved on?', 'life is for living', 'can't you just try to look at the positives in your life'...'it's been 3 years!'. Almost as if I'm being indulgent or something. My mum even said 'right - enough is enough now Sudo' in what I guess she thought was some tough love.
I just miss her.
And it's bloody isolating sometimes.
AIBU?
To think grief outlasts sympathy
SudoCremBrulee · 26/08/2016 23:47
OP said she raises her living children, so yes she has other children. I find it rude that so many posters don't bother to read the thread - or at least the OPs posts (particularly given its such a short thread currently!)
You have my sympathies OP. You're right - grief absolutely outlasts sympathy and I agree with other poster that said bereaved internalise grief. 
to you
Sorry for your loss.
I had a miscarriage and not nearly as harrowing as a stillbirth but I don't think you ever get over it. You just tuck it away and try not to think about it.
Try and celebrate her as best you can.
Don't ever let anyone feel you have to grieve a certain way, or that there are acceptable and unacceptable "levels" of grieving.
You have lost a child, and she will always have a place in your heart. I'm sure it's just naivety on their part as I'm sure non of them have been through the same. You may have weeks at a time where your baby is all you can think about, and that's fine, you certainly don't need to "get over it".
Policing other peoples emotions is probably the biggest thing that frustrates me in life. They are your emotions to feel and you've had unique experiences to make you feel that way, they can't possibly decide for you that it's time to move on.
I've never lost a child, but i have experienced grief, and I dont think anyone ever really gets over it, but you learn that there are other aspects of life to be happy about, but grief and happiness are not mutually exclusive.
You're perfectly capable of carrying this grief and being a great mother, so nobody has the right to make you feel guilty for being upset about your other Child. I really hope you can rise above the way you've been treated, and feel however the hell you need to feel to cope with what you've been through.
Also thought I should mention that, while I'm sure you've been told, make sure you explore all avenues of support for you, as there are lots of organisations to help you with counselling etc if you do feel you should be coping better.
I really wish you all the best in life
There is no end to grief. Some days are better than others. Some days are like day one.
The only ones who really understand are other bereaved people.
My grandma lost a full term daughter. I still think about her even though my own father never knew her. I know her name and I think about how it must have impacted my grandparents, who never talked about her (that was their way).
Grief never ends. I think people just feel uncomfortable if you express it.
I've never lost a child so can't imagine how that must feel. However today I cried over my grandma who died 20 years ago for a brief moment it was like I'd only just lost her and I felt so overwhelmed by it. I told dp and I could tell he felt uncomfortable but then he's never lost someone who he was very close to.
to everyone that has ever lost someone.
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