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To think he should be paid for his time?

(184 Posts)
MargotRogers Fri 26-Aug-16 22:26:59

Name changed as this is very identifying.

DS is 24 and autistic, he's selectively mute, which means that although he can physically speak and understand, he also isn't able to make himself speak.

He's also a mechanic, this is all honestly down to my older brother who owns a garage. DS has always been good with cars, ever since he was little but after helping him apply for apprenticeships at 16, he just kept getting turned down as he can't actually handle people at all.

He doesn't like to be touched, rarely raises his head and won't communicate with anyone.

DBrother gave him an apprenticeship at his garage and then a job for two days a week. As it was his garage, no one bothered DS or gave him a hard time, it was close enough to walk too and I can tell he really likes it.

DBrother's garage is now going through a rough time and he may have to start letting people go, he's asked if instead of firing someone he could just not pay DS for a while until things get a bit better.

He said that DS is the only one that won't be negatively effected. He lives with us, we happily provide everything for him and he does get benefits as well, so he doesn't need Dbrother to pay him and he won't even realise it or properly understand.

Whereas the other people he employs, live pay check to pay check, they rely on the money to pay for their food and rent.

DS is unlikely to ever get another place as nice to work in, he enjoys going there but DBrother can't give me a definite date on when he may be able to start paying him, I don't know what right for DS, I don't want him taken advantage of but I don't want him to lose this job either.

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp Fri 26-Aug-16 22:28:52

So what would you suggest?

BitOutOfPractice Fri 26-Aug-16 22:31:53

So the alternative to not paying him is to let him go completely?

rollonthesummer Fri 26-Aug-16 22:32:27

What are the alternatives do you think?

Nefney14 Fri 26-Aug-16 22:32:53

I honestly think that although he should be paid for his time if he loves it and there's no other option then working there voluntary is better than not being able to work there at all. It sounds like your brother gave him the apprenticeship to help your son rather than needing someone iyswim so If you're unable to sit your son down and ask his opinion if ask myself what means more to my son working there or the money? And then use that to give my answer

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia Fri 26-Aug-16 22:33:05

sounds pretty shitty tbh...but really is axing your ds's 2 day a week apprentice wages going to save the business?? I seriously doubt it.

DoJo Fri 26-Aug-16 22:34:16

If your brother has to close his garage, then it sounds like your son will be out of a job and lose the independence that he does have, as well as the opportunity to pursue his interest in cars - how would that affect him do you think?

Is your brother relying on your son's labour to keep the garage afloat? Would your son taking a break from work and not getting paid be an option? Would either of them want that?

It's a really tricky one, but I think you have to focus on whether the benefit your son gets from working for your brother extends beyond the wages he earns and how important it is to preserve that.

acasualobserver Fri 26-Aug-16 22:34:41

Suck it and see. Perhaps things will resolve themselves at your bro's garage and disruption for your son can be avoided. Give it six months.

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp Fri 26-Aug-16 22:34:58

Also, I suppose your brother has paid him but overlooked many things due to his disability. Things he couldn't do or couldn't do as he would have wanted? He will have made allowances and let a lot of things go

Your ds enjoys it. He benefits. But doesn't realise about money

So can I ask where his wage each month goes?

Trifleorbust Fri 26-Aug-16 22:35:48

Surely this is actually against the law?

drinkyourmilk Fri 26-Aug-16 22:36:31

I rather suspect that he will either have to let him go or he can continue to work there for free. It sounds like your DB is a good man, and has given your son an opportunity he wouldn't have otherwise had. It's a shit situation and you are absolutely right, your son should not be disadvantaged because of his disability. However as I said above I can't imagine there is much choice.
Would your son like to continue to work regardless?

MargotRogers Fri 26-Aug-16 22:37:22

I have zero alternatives, I just feel awful, I don't see how cutting DS' part time wage is going to save anything but the choices are either work for free or don't work at all, and I'd certainly rather he work but then I feel like I'm letting him down.

StuffandBother Fri 26-Aug-16 22:39:09

Oh dear that really is Hobson's choice isn't it confused

Bloopbleep Fri 26-Aug-16 22:40:01

Could get be given expenses in the short term? Like travel and lunch?

We worked with volunteers who we couldn't pay but we always paid for travel and lunch & when jobs came up they were always first in line. I totally understand your reluctance to have your son work for nothing but you need to work out whether the benefits outweigh the problems. On the other hand a new supported employment environment with an understanding employer and job crack/key worker in the same field could also be an option. If he is able to do a couple of days, with the right support & understanding (I know it seems a long shot but is totally doable) maybe he could find another paying job.

Crispbutty Fri 26-Aug-16 22:41:29

what would your son like to do?

hazeimcgee Fri 26-Aug-16 22:41:52

DB it's not illegal as he'd just be volunteering there

I'd do as someone else said - agree to it to be reviewed once business is better. Sounds like you DS would miss it. He won't get this opportinity elsewhere. It's open for review in a few months.

You don't think he's just being a dick and taking advantage i assume?

Cocklodger Fri 26-Aug-16 22:43:30

YANBU but if you trust your brother to be being genuine and not taking the piss I'd trial it until Xmas. see what happens.

Trifleorbust Fri 26-Aug-16 22:44:29

With respect, as I don't think anyone is trying to exploit him, he wouldn't actually be volunteering, as the OP has already stated he wouldn't understand if he wasn't paid. Secondly, I am not sure it is okay to have some people being paid and others not for the same work.

This is a small family business and I don't believe anyone in this situation has anything but this young man's interests at heart, but I firmly believe he should be paid for his time like everyone else, or he should be looking for another job. This is the thin end of a quite creepy wedge.

ImperialBlether Fri 26-Aug-16 22:44:31

If your son didn't work for him, would he have to employ someone else?

MargotRogers Fri 26-Aug-16 22:44:52

"Your son should not be disadvantaged because of his disability" - This is exactly how I feel, I understand why DBrother is doing but understanding it doesn't make it easier to accept.

DS barely understands money, not getting paid would not change anything for him.

Mumontherun, his wages go straight into his account and if he needs anything he just uses his card although he doesn't realise the link between the card and the account, iyswim.

ImperialBlether Fri 26-Aug-16 22:45:15

How much is he getting for two days' work? £100? Is that going to save the business?

ImperialBlether Fri 26-Aug-16 22:47:13

I think if your son enjoys going to work and it gives him some confidence etc, and if you think he'd lose out in those ways if the job ended, I'd reluctantly agree that he could work for nothing.

It would depend on whether you think your brother has your son's best interests at heart.

What he's asking you is to give that £100 pw or whatever to him, isn't he?

mummymummums Fri 26-Aug-16 22:47:41

Could he not take a pay cut, perhaps half? And maybe the others could have a smaller pay cut.
Would it be your son to go if he reduced the staff?
If he does work that earns your brother money and is of value, rather than there as a favour to you, then I'd think he should be paid at least something. If in fact it's someone else who'd be let go, maybe someone more costly, then I feel everyone should consider a short term pay cut

MakeMyWineADouble Fri 26-Aug-16 22:52:03

Your right it does seem unfair on your ds and seems unlikely to make a real difference to the business. I do wonder if it's a preemptive step by your brother so when he has to let others go the can't complain of favouritism?? That's just a thought though. Ultimately if your ds enjoys it and is happy maybe it's worth giving it a try to see where things stand in a few months??

MargotRogers Fri 26-Aug-16 22:52:35

I do think he has DS' best interest at heart but the choices are clear, either he volunteers or he gets fired. He works just as hard everyone else, he gets a lot of valuable work done, but he's the only one on part time and he can't do a lot of things the others can do, like picking up phone calls/handling customers.

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