Advanced search

'Black guy's fancy dress party. Surely I am not BU?!

(25 Posts)
upthewolves Fri 26-Aug-16 13:05:02

Someone I know recently held a fancy dress party with the theme 'black guys' and posted the pictures on fb. Amongst them there were photos of people with blacked up faces, some with all over brown body paint and some with wigs with dreads attached etc. Some people had dressed up as actual characters eg will smith in men in black and some had literally just blacked up. I was really shocked that this was a) thought up as a good idea and b) enough people had thought it was a good idea to constitute a party. I actually unfriended the person on fb (we aren't close, I no longer live near them, they probably haven't noticed) because I just felt they clearly had completely different values to me.

Anyway I mentioned this to two friends this week and they said they saw nothing wrong with it, it was just a bit of fun and it wasn't offensive.

AIBU to find it horrible?

LumpyMcBentface Fri 26-Aug-16 13:07:39



What the fuck?


ThatStewie Fri 26-Aug-16 13:10:26

Its racist. Anyone who thinks it isn't is racist.

mrschatty Fri 26-Aug-16 13:11:23


That's shocking I'd have unfriended them too.
I think that's disgusting and blatant racism

chameleonspots Fri 26-Aug-16 13:11:34

Wow. Just wow. Beyond inappropriate - and that's just the colleagues who you spoke to.

Crackerdog Fri 26-Aug-16 13:12:27

Bloody Hell. I live in the oilfields of the Middle EAST where many of the British people have been here 30 years and are as racist and sexist as they come. I don't think even they would be so ignorant. I am quite shocked at that to be honest.

It's totally different but when I a care home years ago we used to borrow clothes and zimmer frames and go out clubbing after work dressed as our residents. They used to help us get ready and thought it was a hoot. It was a real Derek type place and no disrespect involved.

upthewolves Fri 26-Aug-16 13:18:55

Oh thank god! It really upset me tbh and then after talking to my friendsi felt great depressed that this was considered ok!

On fb, people had even commented with the laugh/ crying emoji jokingly calling them a bunch of racists, like that is something to find amusing.

One of my friends likened my being offended to the hoohar over Ellen DeGeneres posting the picture of Using Bolt (Google the story if you don't know what I'm on about!) I think it is completely different because I don't think she was intending to poke fun at him. But this was clearly making fun of people .. that's where the supposed 'fun' comes from, right? It has made me really question some friendships this week!

upthewolves Fri 26-Aug-16 13:19:51

Some autocorrect issues in that post sorry !

BlancheBlue Fri 26-Aug-16 13:20:27

Really? hmm

OliviaBensonOnAGoodDay Fri 26-Aug-16 13:20:54

Speechless. YA sooooooo NBU!

What awful people!

Arfarfanarf Fri 26-Aug-16 13:21:37

You are not being unreasonable.

Anyone who finds that funny needs to take a good long look at themselves.

The history of 'blacking up' means that if you do it or think its just a joke - you're either a racist or an absolute idiot who knows nothing of the world's history.

Onedaftmonkey Fri 26-Aug-16 13:21:45

What the fuck. Are u shitting is? If course that's fucking racist. Cross them off your Xmas card list and get some decent friends.

Onedaftmonkey Fri 26-Aug-16 13:22:02


user1471429225 Fri 26-Aug-16 13:22:13

You should have openly challenged all their racist asses on FB

VladmirsPoutine Fri 26-Aug-16 13:24:31

Fucking absurd!

Aeroflotgirl Fri 26-Aug-16 13:25:51

OMG I don't know how anybody could think this is ok. I would definitely unfriend them, not a nice person.

RainbowJack Fri 26-Aug-16 13:26:12

YANBU. It's racist.

Anyway I mentioned this to two friends this week and they said they saw nothing wrong with it, it was just a bit of fun and it wasn't offensive.

And so are your friends.

upthewolves Fri 26-Aug-16 13:34:49

Yeah really. I'm a regular poster not a troll. I can pm you pictures if you like - I'll have to check whether I can still see them now I've unfriended.

My DH was equally shocked, he said to immediately unfriend so I am not in any way associated with her. I'm a teacher and I do a lot of work with children about celebrating other cultures, racism and bullying and it is just so frustrating to see this behaviour from adults! One if the friends i spoke to is a teaching assistant too!

MargaretCavendish Fri 26-Aug-16 13:36:12

This is astonishingly, jaw-droppingly horrible. I think the people dressing up as generic black people is even worse than dressing up as specific people, but it's all horrifying.

I may be too late as you've already defriended, but I'd consider reporting to FB - I think they would take the photos down as a violation of policy and it might provide a bit of a wake-up call: I doubt it would stop them being racist, but they might realise it's not publicly acceptable, which is a start.

upthewolves Fri 26-Aug-16 13:37:49

user Yes I regret not challenging it actually. I was really shocked though and the fact that all other commenters thought it was hilarious put me off but I realise now that was all the more reason to comment.

DH suggested I message her explaining why I unfriended but I didn't think it was worth it. I mean if she thinks a black party is ok, what can I possibly say that will resonate?!

upthewolves Fri 26-Aug-16 13:39:01

Margaret - good idea about reporting. I'll see if I can still see then and I will do that. It didn't occur to me to report it to fb at all.

dangermouseisace Fri 26-Aug-16 13:41:09

YADNBU. Absolutely unbelievable shock

What planet are your friends that said it was just a bit of fun from?!!!

Queenbean Fri 26-Aug-16 13:41:39

An aquaintance of mine had a "bad taste" fancy dress party. It had all sorts of horrendous costumes in it and people were really happy to pose for photos.

This is when we were at university and I'm sure some of those will be really regretting the pics being out there if they have serious jobs now.

SeparatedByMotorways Fri 26-Aug-16 13:52:39

WTAF? So, so racist.

TheNaze73 Fri 26-Aug-16 13:55:19

This post would be shocking if it was 1975, let alone 2016. YANBU

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now