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Need to vent...

(15 Posts)
firsttimemum15 Fri 26-Aug-16 10:32:32


MiL will sometimes ring to ask is to take baby round for her to see. She is able bodied and both FiL and MilL drive. Visits never seem to be on our terms just theirs.

Partner works. A lot. Weekends and through the week mainly works afternoons and evenings this time of year which gives us a small window in the day to do something. But this hasn't happened in ages.

He works weekends but has a day off in the week but often picks up extra work meaning for weeks we haven't spent the day as a family unit.

I was hoping for some time tomorrow. Military has rang asking us to go round because family are visiting. I've said I don't know what we are doing. She has asked for a time.

I hate to be short but there is a complete lack of understanding and an expectation that we will drop everything and shoot round. Partner doesn't mind would do it.

My family live 200 miles away and when I visit wouldn't dream of holding me to stay in if someone was visiting. Not all of my family have met my baby.

Partners mum and dad live 20 mins away. He has two brothers one with a small baby one with older children and they don't get the same types of phone calls but my partner is the youngest.

I think it's unreasonable for her to ring and expect us to go round like the entertainment. Particularly with no prior indication that family are coming.

It's not the first time she has rang and asked us to go round.

I find the email petition and the fact she feels she can demand this. It is so annoying and frustrating she simply wouldn't think we have had no time together and see it from our point of view. She needs to keep up appearances. So wants us round.

The weather has been rubbish but had picked up. I like getting baby in the fresh air in nice weather but all they will want to do is sit indoors. They say it's cold even though it's boiling if they go outside. They'll sit with the TV on so it's not like anything will happen. If we suggest going out they find reasons not to.

Is it just me. AIBU?

ImYourMama Fri 26-Aug-16 10:35:56

Get your DP to have a word and say she needs to respect your family time

mickeysminnie Fri 26-Aug-16 10:42:22

So just say you already have plans?!

Hoppinggreen Fri 26-Aug-16 10:44:35

Just say sorry but you can't today but you might be in bit later if they want to call round

NickiFury Fri 26-Aug-16 10:47:04

She's got family visiting so asked you to pop round. But you want her to realise that you're very busy and need time alone? Presumably family visiting isn't an every day occurrence and she can't read your mind. Based on this alone YABU.

RubbleBubble00 Fri 26-Aug-16 10:47:54

Nip round yourself while dp is at work? Does she see much of you and the baby? Does she feel you will oly come round with dp?

NickiFury Fri 26-Aug-16 10:48:05

It's not the first time she has rang and asked us to go round.


Niloufes Fri 26-Aug-16 10:52:59

Just say you have plans. What is all the fuss about?

Missgraeme Fri 26-Aug-16 10:53:29

I would go to her for the group get together - but in future if she asks u around just say oh I've just boiled the kettle /made a sandwich if u want to come here instead?

Gmbk Fri 26-Aug-16 10:59:02

I'm not sure shes that demanding if she's asked only a few times.

You can just say no!

Trifleorbust Fri 26-Aug-16 11:02:18

Just say tomorrow isn't suitable, sorry.

SaucyJack Fri 26-Aug-16 11:04:49

Have you tried saying no? Or inviting them round to yours to see the baby?

Mountains and molehills from what you've put in your OP.

Witchend Fri 26-Aug-16 11:05:27

"Sorry, we're busy tomorrow. If you let us know another time earlier we might be able to arrange something."

firsttimemum15 Fri 26-Aug-16 16:34:48

Yes we invite them round. Ask them for days out they always have a reason not to take part. It's the way she thinks she can demand this which winds me up.
I said I'd see what we were doing. I know other half will agree to go round.

The problem is we have zero time as a family. Our time, once again will be eroded. It's not like we don't try to include her we do.
I don't care if she thinks we only see her with my other half. She isn't bothered about seeing me and if he's there it kills two birds. It's far too intense for me to spend time there on my own.

harderandharder2breathe Fri 26-Aug-16 16:54:38

Stop doing what she wants!

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