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Should DS go..

(12 Posts)
Lexie1970 Thu 25-Aug-16 11:03:29

I have a very fractious relationship with partners family. We have been together 17 years and have 9 year old DS. We have periods when we manage to rub along ok but things are really not very good at the moment. partner is only just on speaking terms so although in the past I have not helped situations, this last episode was none of my making.

MIL and BIL want to take DS to an activity on BH Monday that actually we could all enjoy, and I think that maybe if we all went together it may help to get over this latest problem and try and move forward.

Partner thinks it is too soon to attempt to play happy families and he thinks I could end up inflaming the situation by saying something out of place, be a bit sharp or just have a 'look' on my face - I am guilty of all these things.

I really do not want DS to go and think we should all go together or just our little family do something - am I being unreasonable to think like this?

VioletBam Thu 25-Aug-16 12:52:27

Why don't you want DS to go though? If he'd have a good time, then I agree with your DH.

phillipp Thu 25-Aug-16 12:56:11

I think he should go. The situation sounds like it's all of you that have contributed to it. It also sounds like neither your or your dp think you will try and keep the peace. Or just let stuff go.

Also it's not fair to Ds to miss out on family relationships because the adults can't seem to be mature enough to get along for his sake.

SleepDeprivedAndCranky Thu 25-Aug-16 13:00:29

I think you should let your ds go. He shouldn't have to miss out just because the adults don't get on. Take the opportunity to do something nice with your dp instead

harderandharder2breathe Thu 25-Aug-16 13:05:28

Let DS go! It would cause more bad feeling if you don't and its unfair for him to miss out

WorraLiberty Thu 25-Aug-16 13:06:08

Another one saying let him go.

The day is about your DS, not you and your DP.

Lexie1970 Thu 25-Aug-16 13:06:41

violetbam why don't I want him to go... Honestly because it makes me sick thinking about it which is a horrible thing to say.

Myself and partner have had an awful summer so far with horrendous rows that started over his mother. I have now finished work until he goes back to school and we have done nothing together all summer.

I know I am not being very nice sad

ImperialBlether Thu 25-Aug-16 13:07:02

Send your son off for the day and go to the pub and back to bed with your OH.

positivity123 Thu 25-Aug-16 13:57:37

Let your DS go. Showing a bit of leniency here will help you move things forward probably more than if you went.

phillipp Thu 25-Aug-16 14:32:43

Honestly because it makes me sick thinking about it which is a horrible thing to say.

But why does it make you feel sick? Is it the thought of them spending time with him? If so he will still be with them if you all go.

SleepDeprivedAndCranky Fri 26-Aug-16 00:13:04

I know it galls you but if you don't let him go, it will just make you look petty and cause a bigger rift with dp's family. Enjoy your time with your dp (make amends for the dreadful summer) and plan another day for a family

Lexie1970 Mon 29-Aug-16 19:24:40

Little update... He went, she's filled him with crap and although she was supposed to drop him off, What a surprise DP has had to pick him up... Main thing he has had a good day!

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