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To Get Annoyed with people who always think they can keep my children under control..

(221 Posts)
Blueflowers2011 Thu 25-Aug-16 10:41:22

So... are you one of these people that insists they can keep other people's children controlled? Or do you get this said to you all the time... in a nutshell..

I have 2 boys, 5 and 3.5. Both great boys, lovely natured - they are mega energetic, highly demanding and always need something to be doing, playing with, climbing etc. Both me and DH have our work cut out but we do a pretty good job in general, in my opinion.

So when those, especially at the school gate keep insisting 'leave them with me for a few hours, they'll soon behave' or my husband wont allow any of that, just bring them round etc just annoys me sooooo much.

No - you cannot just turn on a button and control any child in a couple of hours, ours can be complex in their mad moments like any vibrant children and both myself and DH know what generally works and what doesnt. A few hours might do it but its not the same as 24/7.

Why do other people - and for me its the parents at my school with one child or extremely well behaved children - that just dont ever consider that other children may actually be different to theirs? It drives me mad.

So aibu to get so annoyed? I am close to snapping and saying something but of course that would be the wrong thing to do.

user1469914265 Thu 25-Aug-16 10:44:16

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ABloodyDifficultWoman Thu 25-Aug-16 10:44:50

Why are they saying this to you? Are your children annoying other people? The only reason I can think of for anyone to comment in this way is if they see your children being spirited running wild and annoying the fuck out of everyone else.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Thu 25-Aug-16 10:47:14

If multiple people are saying it to you then it's possibly time to be truthful with yourself about your children's behaviour.

DiegeticMuch Thu 25-Aug-16 10:48:49

I think that you need to face up to some difficult truths. Sorry OP.

amy85 Thu 25-Aug-16 10:49:23

It sounds like lots of people have said this too you...sorry but that is not normal...so it sounds like your children arent quite the energetic angels you believe them to be

Amelie10 Thu 25-Aug-16 10:50:33

No your kids don't sound as delightful as you think. If people are saying this then their behaviour must be bad.

DianaMitford Thu 25-Aug-16 10:52:00

Agree with the others

GandT2 Thu 25-Aug-16 10:52:21

Vibrant children! grin

KoalaDownUnder Thu 25-Aug-16 10:53:06

'Mega energetic'
'Highly demanding'
'Complex in their mad moments'
'Vibrant'

Sorry, your kids are pains in the arse and you are Those Parents.

LostQueen Thu 25-Aug-16 10:53:19

YANBU.

BeingATwatItsABingThing Thu 25-Aug-16 10:53:37

While they probably shouldn't say it to you, I'd agree with PPs saying maybe you need to hear it. Especially if it's more than on one occasion.

UsernameIsUnavailble Thu 25-Aug-16 10:54:13

What is it your DC are doing when someone has made a comment?

An example pls

I have two very spirited little feckers ages 5 and 3.5 so I know why it's like to have your hands full

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Thu 25-Aug-16 10:54:25

How do you know these other children are extremely well behaved. !!!!. You only live with your own children. It's very easy, very easy for people to make out their kids are saints. The point is no one ever knows what goes on behind closed doors.
I think you're taking too much notice.

LostQueen Thu 25-Aug-16 10:54:29

I don't think it matters how difficult the OPs kids appear to others, it's nobody place to suggest they can step in and do a better job.

TheHiphopopotamus Thu 25-Aug-16 10:55:34

Agree with everyone else. If numerous people are saying the same thing, your kids are not as 'lovely' and 'vibrant' as you imagine them to be and you need to take a good, hard look at your parenting.

DollyBarton Thu 25-Aug-16 10:56:04

Jesus, poor OP. Don't hold back everyone.

Actually without meeting your boys and seeing the context in which these things were said it's impossible for any of us to judge. It might have been idle chat or maybe your boys are more energetic than most or maybe you need to be a little stricter so I don't know if YABU or not.

QueenJuggler Thu 25-Aug-16 10:56:08

If it's more than one person saying it, their behaviour is probably far worse than you realise (you've probably become immune to it). And your response to their behaviour is probably far less acceptable than you realise.

What people are actually saying is "you aren't parenting or disciplining appropriately, you might want to look at that strategy again".

Or in a less nice way "your boys are irritating brats. Get them under control before I do it for you".

Stevefromstevenage Thu 25-Aug-16 10:56:32

I don't think other people should suggest that they could control your children, but it is exceptionally unusual that people would randomly just say that they could, with no reason. This leads me to suspect that you are not being proactive enough in holding them to reasonable standards of behaviour around others.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Thu 25-Aug-16 10:57:03

I really don't know what the nasty comments are about. They're 3.5 and 5 year old boys. Aren't they supposed to be playful and energetic.
Can someone please enlighten me what the crime is.

Alfieisnoisy Thu 25-Aug-16 10:57:19

How is your older child in the classroom OP? Does he cope with school well? Do school cope with him?

If so then you've probably done a pretty good job and their behaviour is just normal boisterousness .

i have a brother in law who is a bit judgemental in this way (childless natch) who thinks I am a terrible parent based upon some behaviours he saw in my DS at a young age. My DS is autistic with dyspraxia and ADHD...he attends a special school for children with moderate learning difficulties..

I am still sure that he thinks as he did several years ago though and that DS would be different if parented by him.

clare2307 Thu 25-Aug-16 10:57:41

While I would never tell a parent I could make their children behave better than they do, your kids do sound like a handful. I don't think it's the norm for people to comment the way they have been to you.

YelloDraw Thu 25-Aug-16 10:59:36

I don't think people say that kind of thing, unless you've got two right little terrors who are annoying the shit out of everyone else!

VoldysGoneMouldy Thu 25-Aug-16 11:02:33

"Vibrant children" hmm

BeingATwatItsABingThing Thu 25-Aug-16 11:02:45

I think posters need to maybe stop being offensive about the OP's DCs. Their behaviour may not be the best but that doesn't make them "brats" or "little shits" or "awful". What hurtful things to say? Yes, you can say that maybe their behaviour isn't great, but insulting the children is out of line.

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