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To be pissed off with this 'present'?

(39 Posts)
Afternoondelights Wed 24-Aug-16 18:58:57

For a bit of background before I start my rant, my dh loves his PlayStation, tablet, and phone to the point where his usage of them causes a lot of arguments. If I had my way I would scoop up the whole lot and bin them. Our two ds aged 12 and 6 also love them but I limit their screen time to avoid arguments.

So. Today is my birthday, we are renovating our house at the moment so funds are tight, I had asked dh to only spend a small amount on presents - normally we like to spoil each other on birthdays. He got me a new tablet. I was gobsmacked a) we have no money and b) he knows how i feel about 'gadgets'! After a lot of evading the answers to my questions, I establish that he has also bought himself a new tablet and the money has come from money we were saving for a new cooker. I was so annoyed but couldn't say anything as it's my birthday, he had cooked breakfast, ds thought I was v ungrateful etc etc.

The fact that the money came from already allocated funds has really pissed me off - i constantly have to remind him that both our wages (he works ft, I am pt) is family money and we need to make decisions together. He just doesn't seem to get it.

I'm also mightily annoyed that yet another two bloody tablets are in the house. I gave my tablet to our eldest ds as he is starting secondary school and it will help him with research, etc. I couldn't return it as we had an account with the kitchen shop where the future cooker was and they would only give credit.

Aibu to be pissed off about this? It's been a shit day, all my fault for being so ungrateful.

RhiWrites Wed 24-Aug-16 19:01:29

He used your birthday as excuse to buy himself a present from your mutual savings?

What an arse.

And I say this as someone with a tablet and a PlayStation. angry

GoldfishCrackers Wed 24-Aug-16 19:03:12

He's bought you something he knew you don't want, out of allocated money, so that he could get himself a new toy. And you're supposed to be grateful?

pasic Wed 24-Aug-16 19:04:30


Misselthwaite Wed 24-Aug-16 19:04:55

I suggest your DH gets a cooker for Xmas from you. I've no doubt he'll be thrilled!

shaggedthruahedgebackwards Wed 24-Aug-16 19:04:57

YANBU - I'd be mightily pissed off in your situation but can understand it is hard to express without you appearing ungrateful

prettywhiteguitar Wed 24-Aug-16 19:07:49

Incredibly selfish !!

VeryBitchyRestingFace Wed 24-Aug-16 19:08:03

He hasn't really bought you a birthday present, has he?

He's bought you something you don't even want and made you partially pay for it yourself.

What's his excuse?

RaeSkywalker Wed 24-Aug-16 19:09:41

It's not a gift is it. He used funds that you'd made a decision to allocate to an essential household purchase- he made the decision alone. And it wasn't even just for a gift for you, he treated himself too! It's not his birthday! I would be furious.

bluebeck Wed 24-Aug-16 19:10:40

I agree with missel get him a cooker for a combined birthday and Christmas present. What a selfish fucker.

JellyBelli Wed 24-Aug-16 19:17:07

He bought himself a tablet. The one he got you was a cover.

Happy Birthday from us flowers cake wine

Iloveowls2 Wed 24-Aug-16 19:19:51

What a dick. No more presents for him until you get the cooker and buy yourself a nice replacement present

julfin Wed 24-Aug-16 19:22:54

I agree with the others, sounds pretty crappy. Hope the rest of your week is better. Happy birthday! flowerschocolatecakewine

Afternoondelights Wed 24-Aug-16 19:25:52

Thanks for your replies. He has done this before! After the birth of our youngest ds I was really ill, got out of hospital just before Xmas and he got me an ipad for Xmas, I was a bit hmm but gushed over it as I knew it had been expensive. Turns out santa had left dh a tablet under the tree.

VeryBitchyRestingFace Wed 24-Aug-16 19:29:51

he got me an ipad for Xmas, I was a bit hmm but gushed over it as I knew it had been expensive

Ah, your fatal mistake! wink

Can you take this tablet back?

Do you think he might be willing to consider <drum roll> buying your present from his own spending money rather than family funds?

Pisssssedofff Wed 24-Aug-16 19:30:02

I'd hide the money from him until he knows how to be an adult

e1y1 Wed 24-Aug-16 19:31:48


So of course DH's birthday "present" is going to be a cooker, and as the same time you simply must buy yourself something.

EatsShitAndLeaves Wed 24-Aug-16 19:32:55


He's bought himself a present not you.

I love my (far too many) gadgets but I don't buy them at someone else's expense.

Sierra259 Wed 24-Aug-16 19:34:18

YANBU - I would be furious and expect him to replace the funds for the tablets from his personal money if they can't be returned. I would also EBay both of them and treat myself to a spa day with the proceeds!

Goingtobeawesome Wed 24-Aug-16 19:37:53

Why has he night himself another one? How many does he need?

CatNip2 Wed 24-Aug-16 19:39:19

So you already have an iPad, but now you have another? Let me guess, he bought you an iPad Pro cos he wants one?

expatinscotland Wed 24-Aug-16 19:40:34

What a dickhead. Both of those fucking tablets would be returned.

puglife15 Wed 24-Aug-16 19:41:36

Fucking hell.

Nice example he's seeing there for your kids too.

Selfish, childish, thoughtless and manipulative. YANBU.

Every time I go on mumsnet I come away questioning why people insist on procreating with nobs.

Lorelei76 Wed 24-Aug-16 19:41:39

That's not a present if he knew it's something you didn't want in the first place!

GoldFishFingerz Wed 24-Aug-16 19:42:23

Start banging on how you have too much technology in the house and don't want any more. Return anything he buys.

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