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Can't deal with the tiredness from a non-sleeping toddler

(32 Posts)
HariboFrenzy Wed 24-Aug-16 12:41:19

Just a rant/moan really. We had about one glorious month when 15 month old slept through the night. For the last 5 weeks he's woken at 12.30/1 and 4, then up for the day at 6. I'm SO tired.

I'm FED UP. Fed up of not being able to enjoy something on telly at 9, as it means I'll be knackered the next day. Fed up of having a dirty/messy house as if he sleeps in the day I jump back into bed myself. Fed up of everything feeling like a huge effort because I'm so tired.

I'm getting over an infection so it seems worse at the moment. I'm back at work in 2 weeks and honestly don't know how I'm going to manage sad

Any tips on how to cope with not enough sleep??

piglet81 Wed 24-Aug-16 12:45:19

Cosleep? It's the only way I cope (15mo non-sleeper here - he starts the night in his cot but comes in with us by midnight almost every night). At least then I spend most of the night lying down. My other coping mechanisms are caffeine and sugar! Hope things get better. If your boy has previously managed to sleep, hopefully it's a phase...

WannabeLaraCroft Wed 24-Aug-16 12:45:46

I have no advice or tips unfortunately, but I understand where you're coming from.

I have a 9 month old baby who still sleeps in our room. I'm a light sleeper, so every time she makes the slightest noise, I'm awake. She stirs and moans, so I get up to put her dummy in. I'm back at work through the day, so no chance for a nap (not that she sleeps much through the day anyway), and the house is an absolute tip.

Sleep is more important than housework though, so try not to worry about the housework.

HeyNannyNanny Wed 24-Aug-16 12:48:27

I wouldn't advise Co sleeping as you'll struggle to then move away from that.

Does your toddler have a routine? If not, have you tried one? Are you consistent and firm with your bedtime routine?

What do you do when he wakes up?

JustMarriedBecca Wed 24-Aug-16 12:48:47

Sleep train. You sound desperate.

YorkshireTeaGold Wed 24-Aug-16 14:41:09

Hi, yanbu! Its the WORST. My dd2 was like this and it takes its toll on you in so many ways, life is just surviving not living. I ended up really depressed as had no life at all. Also a physical wreck as got every bug going.

You'll have heaps of advice some of which you've tried, some is just crap. We always had a good bedtime routine but would pick up and cuddle in the night. The wakings got less when we just settled in her cot and didn't engage. Also look at daytime sleeps as I find most bad sleepers catch up in the day which exacerbates the cycle. When you're desperate there's nothing wrong with leaving them to cry. Mostly it's because they're overtired. I hated co sleeping and also think its a step back not forwards when they're toddlers but some people disagree.

Some kids are just crap sleepers and there's only so much you can do. At 15mths you've had the worst and a day will come when you feel like yourself again. Acknowledge how hard it is and lower your expectations. Try not to batter those who go on about how relieved they are their offspring are good sleepers as they HAVE to have 8 hours sleep (I still get the rage at this one) Xxx

HariboFrenzy Wed 24-Aug-16 14:52:51

Thanks for replies.

We have a good bedtime routine, he goes down usually between 7-8. He reliably naps 12-2 during the day (unless we're out and about, which isn't likely given how knackered I am).

Not prepared to sleep train really as he's been through the mill with dairy and egg allergies which weren't picked up straight away, plus acid reflux. We're tinkering with his medication at the moment, so hopefully this might help.

I'm glad that people here know how I feel, as I'm sure some of my RL friends think I am making excuses not to see them/do stuff. The month that he did sleep was amazing, I had energy, felt cheerful... Even started contemplating dc2 hahaha no bloody chance now, don't think I would survive

polkadotdelight Wed 24-Aug-16 15:04:07

Same here Im afraid. We have a solid bedtime routine and if he wakes in the night I only have to go in and lay my hand on him. Its the 5am (4am onwards on a bad day) starts that are taking its toll. Carbs and sugar have been my way of dealing with it, I work full time so no daytime nap for me, and Im now 3 stone overweight.

HeyNannyNanny Wed 24-Aug-16 16:31:20

Sleep training will help him, especially if he has had a lot of stress re allergies recently.
He needs more sleep too.

Also one 2 hour nap a day is quite little for his age

Iloveowls2 Wed 24-Aug-16 17:32:09

Feel for you. Been there done that until DS was 4. We survived by co sleeping then having x mattress on his floor. I feel your pain, anyone who has gone through this knows you have to try anything. Any smug parents who have a sleeper and swear blind it's because they had a routine or did something magical can fuck the right off this thread you were just lucky

HariboFrenzy Wed 24-Aug-16 21:37:22

iloveowls til 4?!! <Cries>

milpool Wed 24-Aug-16 21:48:00

Yeah my 15 month old is going through a bit of a tricky time sleep wise at the minute. She had me up at 5:30 this morning, so tired! I'm 17 weeks pregnant and working nearly full time as well so I'm really feeling it.

I guess you just have to take all the sleep you can get!

toffeeboffin Wed 24-Aug-16 21:57:09

Drop the nap.

HariboFrenzy Wed 24-Aug-16 22:01:18

Really toffee? I think he would be an overtired mess! He's only just 15 months

Oysterbabe Wed 24-Aug-16 22:05:52

I wouldn't drop the nap. Most children need 2 naps at that age.

FarAwayHills Wed 24-Aug-16 22:05:56

Sleep deprivation is a form of torture. It will take its toll on your health and sanity.

Sleep training is the only answer.

jessplussomeonenew Wed 24-Aug-16 22:10:10

Can you share the nights so that each parent gets half a night of uninterrupted sleep in another room? That, early bedtimes and intermittent cosleeping helped us cope with DS's waking (regularly 5-8 times a night) after I returned to work. He's finally getting better about the 2 year mark (touch wood) but it hasn't been easy!

FATEdestiny Wed 24-Aug-16 22:21:37

Once you are at work it is entirely reasonable to expect to equally share the nighttime and early morning burden with your DP.

7-8pm to 6am with 2 wake ups and then one 2 hour nap is not enough sleep for a 15 month old.

Your toddler is probably long term sleep deprived along with yourself. Two long naps (2h ish) are usual at this age. With disturbed nights maybe even more daytime sleep is needed.

Is toddler going to nursery when you start work? Nurseries are great st getting children to sleep.

HarryElephante Wed 24-Aug-16 22:25:50

Haha, iloveowls, agreed.

vichill Wed 24-Aug-16 22:28:32

2 hour nap is ample imo. my 15 mo has an hour any time between 10-2. sleeps 7-7 few quick comfort suck wakings. if i had to get up to another room to settle a crying tod a few times a night i would get much less sleep. so i'm afraid i only have co-sleeping to suggest.

Muskateersmummy Wed 24-Aug-16 22:29:29

I would say co sleeping. It's how we have survived with our 4 yo. Good luck op

HalfStar Wed 24-Aug-16 22:39:13

Hey, just wanted to send some sympathy as I was you a few.months ago. Dc2 had also been through the mill in various ways but we had to sleep train her, it was her or us and bottom line was she and I both needed more sleep. I got flu as well I was so run down. It was a miserable time.

It's nothing you've done, health issues make it so hard for them to sleep, but even in these cases you can sleep train gently. It will take a bit longer but a million percent worth it. We hired a sleep consultant who talked us through the whole thing.

Anyway, that was us and we were very much at that rock bottom stage, but you may not be there quite yet. Look after yourself brew

toomanypasswords Wed 24-Aug-16 22:41:41

I could have written this a few months ago. DD2 has never been a good sleeper. At around 15 months, I was also due to go back to work and was getting quite stressed wondering how i was going to cope with it all. She would wake up a couple of times a night, be up early etc and it is absolutely EXHAUSTING. Is he hungry? I tried pretty much everything I could think of and eventually gave her weetabix with warm milk just before bed (she won't drink milk on its own, so I've never been as to fill her up with a bottle before bed). It may be coincidence but it did seem to work. After a couple of months she stopped having the snack but does generally (bar teething etc) sleep through. She's now 20 months.

nousernames Wed 24-Aug-16 22:49:31

We're going through exactly the same this with our 14 month old at the minute. I went to bed straight after him tonight because I was so tired and he's already up for the first time now.

Crunchymum Wed 24-Aug-16 22:49:58

Have you looked at 'wake to sleep' - I saw it mentioned on another thread. I have a non sleeping19mo. It's fucking horrible.

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