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To hate breastfeeding?

(22 Posts)
cafcesque Wed 24-Aug-16 06:35:29

Well sometimes....DD is 11 months and is ebf. Has never taken a bottle. Will drink from sippy cup but only a little water.

I'm going back to work in 2 weeks so am weaning her from the breast in the daytime. this is resulting in all night feeding (have been up from 3am feeding) and she will not go back in her cot. She has never slept more than 4 hours at a time without waking for a feed (she feeds to sleep). She will not eat much in the way of solid food have tried purees and blw.

I seem to be surrounded by babies who are sleeping, eating, putting on weight (she is 9th percentile and I got quizzed by HV at last weigh in as she had only put on 1oz).

I really wanted to enjoy the last few weeks of my maternity leave and had planned little trips out to create those memories of her 1st year. but I'm too knackered to consider doing anything.

Hate is probably too strong. I've been lucky in many ways as i didn't have many issues with feeding and get lots of praise for keeping going for this long. but i didn't have much choice and feel a bit trapped as have not been able to leave her with anyone or go out of an evening etc. But now i'm faced with trying to work a full day in the office on about 4 hours sleep.

I also feel sad that this phase is ending. Just feel a bit emotional generally.

WiMoChi Wed 24-Aug-16 06:38:45

Night wean too? A lot of by BF friends did and only fed weekends/mornings/evenings.

I'm lucky though as I've been off with my 2 year old and not had to stop. Although she's been a terrible sleeper it's only been these last few months she's gotten better (I think because I'm pregnant and less or no milk for her at night).

You can keep going or wean completely. Do what's right for you. You've already given her the best start. Well done!x

nearlyreadytopop Wed 24-Aug-16 06:42:46

Night weaning worked well for us. It was around the same time as you. Get DH involved.

cafcesque Wed 24-Aug-16 06:44:48

Thank you i will look into how to night wean. I'm just concerned that as she doesn't eat/drink anything much in the day she will just be starving?

TronaldDump Wed 24-Aug-16 06:45:39

I feel you. DS2 is 9 months old and we just weaned him at night, now starting to think about dropping a daytime feed. He's starting nursery and I'm back at work next week. The first year of a baby's life is so confusing and overwhelming and breastfeeding is a part of that! I've spent the last 9 months looking forward to some space and time to myself and now it's getting closer I feel guilty and upset about it all. We can't win!

I'd focus on reducing the night feeds - with both of mine I've found that once you stop feeding overnight they tend to sleep much longer stretches as they don't keep waking expecting it. What do you plan to do about getting her to sleep once you've stopped BF? Maybe pick one nap or bedtime and just work on cuddling to sleep or pick up put down. Unfortunately the move from BF on demand all night and feeding to sleep to getting them a little more self sufficient in the sleep stakes is either a bit of a hump to be got over or takes a lot of patience waiting for them to self wean!

I remember with DS1 I felt like things would never sort themselves out but once he was weaned (about 13 months for us) we settled into a new pattern and things got easier again.

Good luck sorting out feeds and with your return to work!

TerrorAustralis Wed 24-Aug-16 06:48:17

Definitely try night weaning. Get your DP/DH to go in when she wakes and offer her water (in case she's thirsty) and settle her back to sleep. First few goes she won't like it, but it should only take a couple of nights.

Have you tried offering EBM in a cup? But by 12 months morning and evening feeds should be enough.

Is she crawling yet? Once they're mobile weight gain slows right down.

nearlyreadytopop Wed 24-Aug-16 06:51:27

DS 1 night weaned at 11 months, previously he was feeding every 3 hourshmmhe was a bit put out but after the first two night was fine and started calling for daddy at night when he woke up grin
If you do decide to stop be aware that you might feel a bit blue for a few days, I know I did. It was explained as hormone levels changing.

RubbleBubble00 Wed 24-Aug-16 06:56:07

This is why I weaned off boobs at 8 mnths. I wanted my life back. I night weaned first only offering bottle of water. Much screaming but both dc realised after a few nights no boobs was coming they slept through - bliss

cafcesque Wed 24-Aug-16 07:03:29

Thank you everyone.
I will try offering water at night instead.
Yes she has been crawling for a couple of months now so thought any weight gain might slow down.
I've just called my mum so she can come a baby sit today while i catch up on sleep I'm sure i will feel better later. xx

Itwillbefine Wed 24-Aug-16 07:12:52

She's feeding at night because she doesn't eat much during the day. I was lucky with greedy boys and my DS2 weaned off daytime milk when he went to nursery at 10 months, the bottles I sent him with didn't get finished and a morning and night breast feed was enough, but like I said I was lucky.

I'm sure someone with more experience than me will come along and give some better advice than me! Good luck with it all.

PotteringAlong Wed 24-Aug-16 07:16:05

If you night wean you might find she increases her food intake in the day.

Historygeek Wed 24-Aug-16 07:36:47

Perhaps she's not eating because she's filling up with milk at night?

If you can stop feeding her during the night she could have a big bfeed in the morning and before bed.

She's probably waking a lot at night because she needs the comfort to get back to sleep.

All easier said than done of course I know.

You could go cold turkey or try to wean her off.

Katastrophe13 Wed 24-Aug-16 07:48:37

I also think if you night wean she will pick up her eating in the day. Like others say, try a breakfast milk feed and a before bed milk feed and try food and water during the day and just water at night. Does sound like she is filling up on milk so much at night she has reduced appetite during the day. Worth a try before you go back to work anyway! Whatever happens you will get through it flowers for you. Going back to work is an emotional time x

WiMoChi Wed 24-Aug-16 07:51:57

My LGs food intake increased noticeably once less milk at night smile

They won't starve themselves x

itwasmuchbetter Wed 24-Aug-16 07:56:36

When I weaned my ebf DS I worried about all the things you said. After 2 days he was drinking from a cup and now 12 years later is enormous and eats like a horse. Your dd will make up for night weaning by eating more during the day if you give it a few days.

newmumwithquestions Wed 24-Aug-16 07:56:41

YANBU. DD (8mo) just bit my nipple whilst I was reading this. * it hurts.

<misses point of thread but it really really hurts>

MLGs Wed 24-Aug-16 07:56:48

I think others are right to suggest night weaning. DH defo should be involved in this.

Just wondering if you actually need today wean from the boob (unless you want to) while you are still at home.

With DS he was fine at start of nursery that he could bf in the day if I was there and have bottles as well as some solids if not. He had always been happy to take some.bottles though so perhaps not the same. Started at about 7montjs.

Carrying on morning and evening is obviously great too if you want to do it.

MLGs Wed 24-Aug-16 07:58:36

Should say "to day wean" not "today".

Rinceoir Wed 24-Aug-16 08:14:45

OP you sound like you are in the same situation I was 18monthd ago. I went back to work full time (with some shifts) at almost 11months- DD refused all solids and wouldn't take expressed milk or formula. She was also starting to plateau on the charts. She did like water.

I came on here on multiple occasions with my old user name in a state of abject panic! All I can say is that it worked out. I didn't limit her feeds when at home initially, as I think she needed to reconnect with me. She started eating small amounts in nursery, probably a combination of mimicry and hunger. We had marathon evening feeds but she didn't reverse cycle particularly (I think she was just exhausted from nursery). Nursery were fantastic, her key worker spent ages with her and they formed a really close bond.

She's now 2.4, still petite (on the 9th centile) but eats well. Still stubborn! And we finally seem to have weaned (my latest battle!!).

I'm sorry for the essay, but I completely understand your stress. I cried many a tear, and remember being so jealous when I saw little 6 month olds happily munching through jars of purée when my almost 1 year old wouldn't swallow anything! With the benefit of hindsight I would just enjoy what's left of your leave- she's going to behave differently when you aren't around anyway. Best of luck with it all.

ShebaShimmyShake Wed 24-Aug-16 08:22:04

I enjoy breastfeeding but my God I understand why so many women don't.

DesignedForLife Wed 24-Aug-16 08:22:09

Definitely try night weaning, and as others have said, get your partner involved- get him to go settle her.

Try to be gentle to yourself at this time, weaning means a big change to your hormones and I felt quite blue with it for a couple of weeks. Added onto that the return to work/end of mat leave, it's quite a big change and readjustment to go through. Give yourself time and don't put too much pressure on yourself to do amazing things. You can still do all that stuff.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat Wed 24-Aug-16 09:05:30

Have you tried teaching her to drink from a straw? Get the liquid in fast. You could use EBM if she'll take it and then partner could take a night feed (or 3). If you want to night wean totally though I agree with PPs who suggest partner do this.

Don't forget that around 13 or 14 months most babies go through a phase where they lose interest in breastfeeding. It can occur earlier. In case the night weaning is slow to happen keep that in mind.

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