To not baby sit Godson?

(63 Posts)
Halloweenbaby Tue 23-Aug-16 22:56:17

I've been godmother to a lovely little boy for 2 years, his mum is a close friend.
I've baby sat him a couple of times in the past, he has been in bed and I've just had to sit at his house obviously in case he wakes up, never expected any money or been paid just doing his mum a favour really. Friend has asked me if I can 'watch' dgs for a few hours tomorrow evening so she can meet another mutual friend for a drink.
Now I'm feeling pretty moody atm, I am fed up (few issues with dp) and am about to have 1st Baby in a few weeks so feeling hormonal too. I also want my last few weeks of 'freedom', even though i wil only be relaxing at home, i dont really like going to other peoples houses, i can never make myself comfortable, especially being the size i am now so aibu to say sorry but I can't? I can't say I have other arrangements as mutual friend lives close by so would see car in drive and I don't want to come across as being awkard but I think I am being aren't I?

PurpleWithRed Tue 23-Aug-16 22:58:34

It's too much for you just say you're not up to it at the moment, blame pregnancy knackeredness and also point out you can't run after him very well at the moment.

ladyvimes Tue 23-Aug-16 22:58:38

Just tell your friend that you're feeling rough and tired and struggling in the evenings and so don't think you can manage to babysit. She'll understand!
Alternatively just suck it up and do it and then you'll have a favour in the bag for when baby arrives!

TowerRavenSeven Tue 23-Aug-16 22:58:58

You are about to have a baby? Problem sorted: 'I'm sorry I just don't feel well'.

Claireabella1 Tue 23-Aug-16 22:59:33

YANBU to not babysit anyone else's children. Either be honest about how you're feeling or ask your friend to drop DC with you so you can babysit at your own house. A real friend will understand the reasons you've given.

bramblina Tue 23-Aug-16 23:01:36

Tricky. Is her social event neccessary? Does she have a dp? Do you owe her this favour? I can see both sides, but not sure she really needs her heavily pg friend to babysit.

eightbluebirds Tue 23-Aug-16 23:04:36

Say your just don't feel well. But tbh you make a point of saying babysitting your godson is a favour to his mother. Surely if you accepted to be his god mother, you would want to be involved? YANBU to not be up to it if you're not feeling great in your pregnancy but from your OP it almost seems like being a godmother is a burden.

Halloweenbaby Tue 23-Aug-16 23:04:49

Thanks. Friend will say she understands but I know she will be a bit hmm at my reasons and will probably pull me about how I'll be able to parent a baby on zero sleep ect, although I know she means well. Just didn't want to be guilt tripped into well he's your Godson take some responsibility for him like I have been before.

LondonStill83 Tue 23-Aug-16 23:06:13

She doesn't sound very nice!!

say you have someone coming over?

Blondieblondie Tue 23-Aug-16 23:09:36

YANBU. I'd never ask someone weeks from giving birth to do that for me. She's already asked, so what did you say? If you can't face saying you would rather not, just make something up. You're in a prime position! Good luck with your baby flowers

Missgraeme Tue 23-Aug-16 23:10:49

Look ahead and think about what u may expect from her regarding support when u have your baby. She chose u for gm as she felt she can call on u to be there for them both. So she has. And u are looking for a reason to say no! Hopefully u won't need her much but u never know!

DPotter Tue 23-Aug-16 23:10:52

Just say your feeling really rough with the hot weather. I had DD in September 17 yrs ago and I can still remember feeling like a bloated whale in the August.

Godparents are meant to be for the child's spiritual well being not to enable the parents' social life.

Halloweenbaby Tue 23-Aug-16 23:11:16

Eightbluebirds, being godmother is not a burden but I honestly just feel as though I want my last few weeks to do whatever I want when I want for the last time, it's not as though I'm not well enough to sit round their house but I just dont want to as I'm feeling massively uncomfortable and hormonal and just want to be in my own surroundings, I guess my aibu was aibu to feel this way

Xmasbaby11 Tue 23-Aug-16 23:13:28

I think it's hard to pull out now unless you know she has other friends to call on. She's a close friend so I think I'd do it - it'll be the last time for ages. Hopefully she will do the same for you?

Halloweenbaby Tue 23-Aug-16 23:14:02

Missgraeme, I am aware I might need help when baby is born, any other time it would be no problem but like I said above I'm just feeling hormonal and uncomfortable at the moment.

Mammylamb Tue 23-Aug-16 23:14:19

Yanbu. And I would not want a heavily pregnant person looking after my child in case she went into labour.

FrancisCrawford Tue 23-Aug-16 23:18:38

If she is a good friend, then she will understand why you don't want to do this.

And if she then tries to guilt you into babysitting regardless, then she isn't behaving like a good friend should.

If she needed help because she was visiting a sick relative on hospital, that would be different, but she could invite mutual friend round for a drink if she can't get another babysitter so it's not a big deal.

Cookingongas Tue 23-Aug-16 23:21:18

Yanbu to say no. It's your choice- babysitting is always an option.

BUT, personally , I would look after my god child in your position. You keep saying you want the last few weeks freedom- understandable, but she's not asking you to look after him for weeks is she? She's asked you for an evening. One evening. For my friend, and for my godchild , an evening would be sufferable.

BackforGood Tue 23-Aug-16 23:31:24

It would depend on the circumstances to some extent - how often she gets to go out being the main one. If I've read your posts correctly, it says you've sat for her "a couple of time" in the "2 years you've been his GodMother", so it doesn't sound as if she asks you much, therefore, I would help her out - that's what friends do. It's not like you are being asked to do anything other than sit in her house rather than your own, and from what you say, you've still got some weeks to go.
Up to you, obviously, but it sounds a bit selfish to not help out a friend, when you are able to, to me.

Casmama Tue 23-Aug-16 23:32:43

I think you are being a bit dramatic tbh. It's a few hours of sitting your bum on someone else's couch rather than your own and he is your Godson. I think you should just do it.

serin Tue 23-Aug-16 23:33:03

What are the issues with your DP? That's the last thing you need in the last few weeks of pregnancy.

Motheroffourdragons Tue 23-Aug-16 23:38:30

I'd suffer the babysitting in order to keep the friendship, tbh. If he is in bed, surely you can just relax ?

usual Tue 23-Aug-16 23:42:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsBungle Tue 23-Aug-16 23:45:56

Well if you don't feel up to it, you don't feel up to it but it doesn't seem like she's asked you loads and you've only done it a couple of times. It's a few hours for one night, personally, I would do it.

JudyCoolibar Tue 23-Aug-16 23:46:06

It doesn't really matter if the friend can see your car in the drive, does it? You can say someone is coming to visit you, or you are going out by taxi if challenged.

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