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about wrongly spelt name

(20 Posts)
MaudlinNamechange Tue 23-Aug-16 22:50:29

I asked to see an independent financial advisor about specific products. She had my email address, which includes my name spelt correctly. (and had to take copies of proper ID etc)
At the second meeting she turned up with illustrations with my name spelt wrongly on them. I pointed this out but otherwise agreed with her suggestions.

She then emailed me a week later with documents with my name spelt wrongly. Actually some new documents have it right; but she has re-sent the same illustrations she showed me in person with my name spelt wrongly.

When I asked her not to send me any more documents with my name spelt wrongly I detected a slight tone of shirtiness in her response; she said something like "none of the new documents going forward will have it wrong" in a slightly "get over it" way.

AIBU to be annoyed by this? I can't imagine writing to a client with their name spelt wrongly - and then repeating it a week later, after having it pointed out, just because it is a pain to do the documents again and easier to use the existing ones.

Reasons why I might be being over sensitive: I am being dicked about at work; and as a single / separated / middle aged unattractive woman I guess I am getting a bit chippy about general low level disrespect.

I'm the client. This is basic. Spell my name right. AIBU?


Tiggeryoubastard Tue 23-Aug-16 22:53:54

No. A mistake is a mistake. As you asked her to correct it, it shows a level of unprofessional behaviour. Also sloppiness. I'd wonder what else she couldn't be bothered listening to or checking. I'd not deal with her.

OhTheRoses Tue 23-Aug-16 22:54:19

It depends on your name. If it's Jane Smith, yes I'd be pissed off. If however it's on a par with Hermione Cholmondley, as mine is, I think you need to get over it and breathe .....slowly in, and slowly out.

MaudlinNamechange Tue 23-Aug-16 22:58:57

It's a name that has a common English spelling that is not the correct one for the country / culture it is from. It's annoying when people get it wrong (often) as it is part of my email address, so people just decide to email someone else, and then swear blind they have sent things to me and get really arsey about it. So basically I am a bit sensitive to it after years of having to gently explain to people that no, they haven't sent that thing to me, they have sent it to SOMEONE ELSE. And this is of course not fair, because the thing that I find annoying about it - that literally more than half of people don't read but just make it up - is what makes it so sort of to be expected.

But I don't think that's the issue. It wasn't done the second time because I have a hard name to get right. It was done the second time because after I pointed out it, she couldn't be bothered to fix it.

MaudlinNamechange Tue 23-Aug-16 23:09:02

I'm sad. I'm in a pathetic state but this has really made me feel shit, like "I pay these people for basic respect and I still can't get it"

Cavogirl Tue 23-Aug-16 23:13:53

Not u.
But - are you letting this woman make you feel bad about you?
Don't !!!
If you're feeling low take action. You and everyone else should have their names spelt correctly and it's acceptable. However, if this is making you feel really bad then you need to build yourself back up. If she Called should Fred Frobscottle that doesn't change you and how special and amazing I'm sure you are at all.
Hope you are ok OP xxxx

MaudlinNamechange Tue 23-Aug-16 23:16:19

Thanks Cavo. She isn't making me feel bad, I just felt bad already and my brain is picking on this one thing to get hung up on.

IT's about work really. A pattern that I have let get out of control of people disrespecting me and my job function. I get really anxious about standing up for myself. I tried to do it a bit yesterday and it was so so hard.

Cavogirl Tue 23-Aug-16 23:26:59

Poor you.
Sounds like in this instance you highlighted her mistake and she was maybe embarrassed herself. You were right to do it tho.

Keep sticking up for yourself. Enough people out there to knock us all down. Sending you virtual treats ! cakeflowerschocolate

MaudlinNamechange Tue 23-Aug-16 23:28:52

Thank you!

Kayakinggirl86 Tue 23-Aug-16 23:30:10

I totally get where you are coming from before I was married I have a very not English first name and it is clear from my accent that English is not my first languageand I was not from the area I lived and worked, however my madden name was a very English name (like smith).
So many people assumed I must have moved to England for a guy and had to be married or would not not have such a English name. Annoyed the hell out of me when work things were e-mailed through saying Mrs! Even when I corrected people!

Kayakinggirl86 Tue 23-Aug-16 23:32:32

On that note I once trough a strop and refused to deal with a client because they non stop referred to me as Mrs kayaking.

FuzzyWizard Tue 23-Aug-16 23:37:13

A colleague of mine has a very similar problem. She has a mildly unusual name, it's basically an Eastern European version of a common name. It's a bit like Helena/Yelena. At work very few people have bothered to spell or pronounce it correctly. Not even her direct line manager says it correctly. It must be maddening as it is a very straightforward if slightly unusual spelling and pronunciation. There is nothing especially difficult about it. You are absolutely right to raise it. It's disrespectful IMO.

RhodaBorrocks Wed 24-Aug-16 00:46:00


I have to ask OP, but do you have an Irish spelling of a name with a more common English variant?

Only because that's the situation I'm in and it's such a ballache. I spell my name out and they still get it confused and spell it the English way! I get snotty calls at work saying my email address is wrong and it turns out no, they've spelt it wrong etc.

DS has a very rare surname, if I ever met anyone with the same name they'd definitely be related to him. We get problems with that too. Most recently his optician couldn't find his records because someone had cocked the spelling up. Working in an NHS role that's heavy on data security I get really narky about incorrect details. Rude AND risky.

ProudAS Wed 24-Aug-16 06:38:13

You provided her with the correct spelling not only in your email but in documents.

Most 6 year olds can copy a word correctly. What excuse does a grown woman have! Not to mention your name being part of your identity.

WalrusGumboot Wed 24-Aug-16 06:50:56

Yes, I'd be worried about what else she's getting wrong.

Brekekekex Wed 24-Aug-16 07:32:17

I have the same problem - a slightly less common variant spelling of a perfectly normal name, along the lines of Eleanor/Elinor. Most of the time I let it wash over me, but sometimes it really grates. The number of emails I get starting 'Dear Eleanor' when my email address is 'Elinor' and I've already emailed them and signed off 'Elinor'... The first bank account I opened, the bank got my name wrong on the account, presumably having mistranscribed it from the handwritten paperwork! You're definitely NBU - it's so unprofessional.

GinIsIn Wed 24-Aug-16 07:45:41

I have worked at the same company for TWO YEARS. Some of them still spell my sodding name wrong. YANBU at all!

frostyfingers Wed 24-Aug-16 09:08:45

My surname is not difficult to spell but there are a couple of variations and it drives me nuts when I spell it out for someone and they still get it wrong. Ditto pronunciation - there are two ways of saying it and invariably the wrong one is the one they say (and sometimes keep saying).

EssexGurl Wed 24-Aug-16 09:12:45

I feel your pain. I have a very normal English name - which has a number of different spellings. Mine is one of the more uncommon ones. I spend most of my life correcting it. It is also in my email address. I cannot get over the number of times people email me and still get it wrong.

I do tend to let it go - but in a professional context, I do get v stroppy.

And yes, people do think I am making a fuss.

But it is MY name. I love it and the spelling. It is not me when it is spelt incorrectly.


Jelliebabe1 Wed 24-Aug-16 09:18:51

My name is commonly spelt wrong. I take extra care not to do this to others! Doesn't matter if your name is Hermione Cholmondley or not! It is disrespectful especially if you're the client and you've already pointed it out!

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